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InnerSpiral (the scary version)

@innerspiral.lol
3.7K followers 717 following 9.3K posts

Alli 🌀 | Just exploring the web and being a silly ol' gal. she/her 🏳️‍⚧️ Love making new friends! ♡ +18 🌐 innerspiral.lol

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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 18/10/2026
hunt or be hunted
i walk past my own street
because he’s still behind me
and the shop up ahead is open

i’m trying to work out how to tell him i’m trans
without becoming a statistic
and how keeping quiet might become
something he thinks i’ve done to him

inside, i pretend to compare two tins of tomatoes
while i wait to see if he comes in

at home, i turn sideways in the mirror
checking my shoulders again
as if some terf’s idea of biology
could catch me out

when did i start doing their fucking work for them
and how do i stop
without feeling less safe?

another sister is gone by breakfast
and i’m halfway through buttering toast
before i realise i haven’t felt anything yet

i go back to her picture
she should be somewhere getting ready
with one earring in
and no idea where she put the other

they pass another law
and a woman’s appointment gets cancelled
over the phone
while the man who voted for it
goes on television
to talk about keeping women safe

they seeth at how much i love myself

i wonder if she says thank you
at the end of the call
the way i do
when i don’t know where to put what’s happening

i’m so fucking angry
i lie awake imagining an ordinary week
where my friends answer their messages
and i get home by the street i live on

i want to be old with my sisters
taking forever to leave a café
because someone’s infodumping
about something she loves

i’m so scared we won’t get there,
but i’m still going to ask
what everyone’s doing next weekend

fuck you, i have to hear
how the rest of my story goes

and you can't stop me.
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 17/10/2026
nighty night, lovelies! 🩷
me taking a selfie down [redacted], wearing the tightest fucking bra ever ow ow ow
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 16/10/2026
good morning lovelies! currently getting my groceries, then headed back to go play some games and do a little reading i've been meaning to do for the rest of the day :) i hope y'all are doing well <3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 14/10/2026
slipping of the hourglass
my keys are still in the door
when i realise i’m home
there’s a glass beside my bed
with yesterday at the bottom
and a little world i left
somewhere in the middle of something


someone asks how i’ve been
i say busy
as if that tells them
where i’ve gone

i used to get lost on purpose
now whole afternoons go missing
and i couldn’t tell you where

i sit there with my shoes still on,
thinking about all the people
i’ve been meaning to get back to.

fuck, i think i’m one of them

and i don’t know when it happened
but lately even my dreams
feel like tasks i have to get done
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 13/10/2026
Goodnight my lovelies! Got the art out, so now instead of trying to write a new piece, I'm going to rest for the rest of the week. Need to be nice to myself. :) Anyway, hope you have a wonderful Tuesday! May every trans girl be blessed with the fattest ass and the heaviest tits her heart desires. 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 13/10/2026
a little trip
A woman out on a trip to a fossil area, as some Aurorus look around in the distance. The map to the right shows where she is, and also hints at the region she's in, which is holon. To the left has a mossy flag that shows the exact location she is with a Tyrantrum Skull.
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 12/10/2026
Goodnight, lovelies! Just been taking my evening easy drawing, and it's been nice. Trying to pull off some new perspectives :3 Anyways, I hope y'all have yourselves a wonderful start to your week! 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 09/10/2026
Good morning, lovelies! I'm out being errand girl, and hopefully i'll be able to relax and play some good games later!! Happy lesbian day too from this silly fool!! Hope you're all doing well! 🩷
It's moi, leaving a parking garage!
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 07/10/2026
the moon and stars, for her alone.
the taller witch, representing the blood moon, is kissing her dear wife, representing the stars. they've just come back from a flight together <3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 04/10/2026
goodnight my lovelies! Had a lovely day to myself, out and about doing some fun stuff. I'm in high spirits again after a very draining week, both emotionally and physically... which I'm sure most of y'all are feeling too <3 I hope y'all have a wonderful Sunday, please rest and take it easy! 🩷
me! just outside at sunset as the ocean air hits me <3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 01/10/2026
spooky season begins!
a vampire girl with her adopted daughter :3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 28/09/2026
goodnight!! i am a very silly girl. drove up to uni, and learned it was a public holiday lmaoo so got some snacks on the way back home and wrote for the latter half of the day. it was nice! ^_^ anyways, i hope you have yourselves a wonderful start to your week! 🩷🩵🤍
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 28/09/2026
Good morning, lovelies! very long day ahead, but I'll make it through! Also need to write more too :3 I hope y'all are doing well 🩷
me just chilling outside (ignore the insane tanlines i have lmaoo)
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 26/09/2026
speaking of communities being run with people who care about nothing but their games (the pokemon rom side for this instance), the hackdex site is running with the help of generative ai. ...just learn how to patch a game, folks.
On their github it says:
Disclaimer: A good chunk of this code was initially written with AI assistance using Cursor. I later pledged to not use AI in future contributions, but due to life circumstances causing my time to be incredibly limited now, I made the difficult decision to resume using AI assistance in order to prevent Hackdex from going dormant and becoming neglected.
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 25/09/2026
a long day for a hero
A girlie (I guess my OC at this point) in her very weary costume after a long day :) she's also holding her helmet!
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 24/09/2026
Good morning lovelies! So I barely slept, but I'm not doing much today besides a little grocery trip. So it's fiiine. I'll write a bit more, and finish up this little drawing for later! I hope you're all doing well!! 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 21/09/2026
i’m back :3 my eyes are feeling a lot better after staying off everything for the weekend. which turns out the optometrist may have been onto something with that whole "rest your eyes" thing lmao on the way to class now, and i hope you've all been doing well too 🩷
me parked and ready for a good day! :3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 18/09/2026
goodnight lovelies! this weeks gone very well! new piece, new art, got my classes changed. it was a nice week. that being said, i'm gonna log off for the weekend because my eyes have been hurting way too much lately and it’s actually starting to become a problem
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 17/09/2026
the usual spot
a woman in a puffer jacket, tank and baggy pants is admiring some pretty skater girls, she's also reading a book called "caring for your cat & puppygirls" :3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 14/09/2026
goodnight, lovelies! i'm... not really liking that i have barely any time for anything other than work or grad school lately. i'm going to go move some classes around, give myself more breathing room. other than that, it's been a good day. i hope y'all have yourselves a wonderful week ahead! 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 12/09/2026
oh, and also there's somebody going around my pixel art and just randomly calling it ai, which is funny because this sprite art thingy (that i saved as a jpeg so it's messed), was made before i was 10. i've been doing this for a very long time. no ai, ever. anyways, quickly blocked & moved on.
a jpeg crushed pokemon forum art signboard to make various kinds of things! the ones listed are:

pokeballs: torchic

devamps: charizard, lotad, manaphy, swinub, arceus, bronzor, buizel, weavile and pachirisu

siamese(lmao): venusaur

retypes: chinchou

revamps: bellsprout, kabuto and koffing

recolors: ponyta, feebas and gligar

splices: ponyta+machop, mewtwo+lucario, porygon2+quilava, luxray+???(can't remember!), haunter+spiritomb

eggs: pikachu

chao forms: pikachu, tyrogue, mew, buizel

diggmon: caterpie

shadow pokemon: aipom

lineless: ekans

overshades: gardevoir & rattata.
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 12/09/2026
a night to myself
A woman (gee, I wonder who), is looking off to the distance from a bridge at night, the cityscape is seen from the far distance :)
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 11/09/2026
Goodnight lovelies! Going to get some early rest before work tomorrow! But we got the goods baby!!! also this fucker is also just fully homebrewed too! I'm going to have some real fun, well after i clean all the dust and stuff :3 I hope y'all have yourselves a wonderful Friday!! 🩷
A photo of my new xbox on an old wooden shelving unit I bought with it!
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 08/09/2026
Good morning, lovelies! I'm up early and doing stuff so I can laze around the rest of the day! It's an errand dayyy Anyways, I hope y'all are doing well 🩷
me taking a lil selfie in a very old tee of mine lmao
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 04/09/2026
good morning, my lovelies! been up since the crack of dawn! hit a new personal best run, then dipped into the local pool to cool off! and now i gotta restock on a very empty house lmao I hope y'all are doing well! :3
me taking a lil ol selfie just after I've dried up :3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 03/09/2026
hey little me give me your hand and come look how bright it is out here i'm her now you knew, huh you always knew we're happy now our heart is full again
Me with my younger self, telling them we're safe now. We're also walking through a field, as the trail leads the way for the excited little me. :)
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 31/08/2026
Goodnight my lovelies :) The grad school project is finally done. Day off tomorrow too! I'm... definitely a lot more tired than I'm letting on, so i'm not going to be online at all tomorrow so I can stay in and rest properly. I hope y'all have a wonderful week ahead, and know that you're loved 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 31/08/2026
Good morning, lovelies!! Back to class again today, then I have a day off tomorrow! I can't wait :3 Need to do more writing, and I've been drawing a lot! I hope y'all are doing well, and that you know you're loved. <3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 30/08/2026
First anime crush? Yes, I'm now a woman who likes women now. Why do you ask?
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 28/08/2026
Good morning, my lovelies! Gotta drive off! It's a long day of work ahead. hopefully I can get some writing in too, and some drawing :) I hope y'all are well 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 25/08/2026
Morning lovelies!!! Hell of a morning, right? Oh, I'm in such a good mood! That makes it a full week where I've just been happy. That's been a nice change of pace ^_^ TERRANIGMA LIVES!!! I hope y'all are doing well, and please know that you're loved 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 21/08/2026
good morning lovelies! :3 off to work 🩷
it's a me! taking a selfie on the sidewalk! :3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 21/08/2026
Goodnight lovelies!!! Need to sleep early cause of work tomorrow, but it's been a nice day of studies and gaming :3 I hope y'all have yourselves a wonderful Friday!! 🩷🤍🩵
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 21/08/2026
also fun fact: i did play the missing link cbt :3
Screenshot for my email showing an invite to a testflight for the closed beta test of Kingdom Hearts: Missing Link on 28th of November 2023
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 20/08/2026
there we go! good morning 🩷 (seems it was a app specific issue, works on pc)
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 19/08/2026
goodnight cuties~ :3 just finished watching tekkonkinkreet again after so long, and it's still a beaut. also just been busy with classes today, and ended it with some gaming so that was nice :3 i hope y'all have yourselves a wonderful hump day 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 18/08/2026
I am!!!! ^w^ so much so I got to play a certain game before it got cancelled :3
Screenshot for my email showing an invite to a testflight for the closed beta test of Kingdom Hearts: Missing Link on 28th of November 2023
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 18/08/2026
Oh, and also 2 new friends 🩷
A patamon figure and a banana item plush :3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 17/08/2026
Oh, you're not running away from this @plufel.bsky.social
If your deadname is cuntface and your chosen name is cumtface its a little disingenuous to immediately set up a pityfarm and paint people as some transphobe when they misspelled it and didn't even knew your deadname before that point. that makes you a bad person. That is larping @innerspiral.lol
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 17/08/2026
, (@felineplush.bsky.social), buddy-buddy again, ask me to proofread your piece like you're a completely new person and ask for a quote and I do. Then get suspicious to your cadence and realize it's just you. Yes I know it's you because your original account went on hiatus the same day as that one
Hey pretty
what do you think about my writing

Aww hi!!! I really liked it! Shows the racism banks tend to do to marginalized folk, which my voice would also be a target for, so it works well!

The eyes were not on purpose

Yay ^x^

Thank you for reading it it was like 10k words. (I let the rage controll me when i write)

Or symbols

I fkrgywhat counter i looked at

I was saf about your blog. I dont want woman to have a oetite proceline voice. I need them to screem morekr the most points but right after that is the red part so sorry if i just miss it i dont mean it weird its lowkey practice

Alternative: if you need more pillows let me know

hahahaha you got it

Yay thank you

III be around. Dont be a stranger
You can call me feline if you like :3 thats félinè

Hey friendly checkup

(THEN YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY)

i just know you
but i cant ignore you feel used
are you
gonna be alright?
Is there someone I need to be vigilant for?
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 17/08/2026
I asked you why, and you just told me to check clearsky, so I do and I realize you're not a serious person. You made a blocklist people sharing games prior to the boycott (xbox one games and earlier). So sure I block you, annoyed with the deadname, and leave. Two days ago, you create *another* acct
Huh? Also why are you using my deadname?

Its the only name i see on your bio. I didn't know that wasn't the right one

Deadname

Also what morals?

Mb mb im dialectic. Anyway, alli, i dont think we should associate with all due respect

yeah thats fine but who are you talking about? i need to know if people are being weird behind my back

Dont know where to start with that one
Who isn't might be easier
I wouldn't be like this if it was just 1 or 2

that's too vague though. now i'm up feeling all weird. i don't think i've done anything weird?Ehh close association is enough for me to walk away. I didn't say you did anything wrong ig. Atleast i didn't make accusations

Dont mean to sour your day im fine with you going away

i don't hold it against you, i understand. but if i knew the specific people, i can check the people you're mentioning and remove them from mine if they're awful too

I didn't exactly hold a mental note. You know how to use clearsky right. Just look at my blocklists if you rly wanna know.

dw, im sorry i wasted your time
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 17/08/2026
Goodnight lovelies! Oh my goodness, y'all. I had a wonderful day! Got back home from class and the net was down, so I just spent that just watching shows and playing. I really needed that. I hope you have yourselves a wonderful week ahead 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 16/08/2026
The same guy who drew them like this? Yeah, you're on the money here.
Sora, Roxas, Axel, Kairi and Riku all dripped out for nomura's in-game fashion show (coming 20??)
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 15/08/2026
Goodnight lovelies! Finished work, headed to the beach for some thinking (and so I could hang out with my sibling) and now i'mma pass out! I hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead. 🩷🩷
Me, looking away cause sibling turned on the flash, holding moi purse at the beach :3
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 11/08/2026
😁
A Screenshot of my Steam library showing:
- Neo: The World Ends With You
- Gemporium
- Broken Reality 2000
- Restory: Chill Electronics Repairs
- Denshattack!
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 08/08/2026
back home (1999?)
A character- uhh nah that's just me in the Downtown MTV style, back in my bedroom, ready to sleep. I got an Innerspiral cup on my nightstand.
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 07/08/2026
fading into nothing
a lighthouse shining at the bottom of a dry well
a common story i tell
i hit send into the dark and the green goes gray your sun is coming up right now
you’re buying milk
or laughing at someone in a gas station line
and I’m here staring at the phone light
typing sorry just saw this for the fifth time this week

it’s three in the morning again
my eyes burn like salt
if i force myself to stay up to catch you before your day starts
my head splits open tomorrow
if i go to sleep
you wake up to a has-been who only replies in past tense

scrolling back through six months of dms
the late night paragraphs where you trusted me i read them like old receipts
proof i was there
proof i was useless

am i even a person to you
or just a midnight notification you clear without opening
maybe I’m the one ghosting
even when my thumbs are sore from trying

i’m so bad at this
i’m so bad at staying real across six thousand miles of ocean

sometimes i want to log off forever
just to spare you the chore of watching me fade sometimes i hope you forget my username
so i don't have to see the room go silent again


you’re asleep now, aren't you
goodnight
i’m sorry
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 04/08/2026
Oops, forgot a good morning post xD Anyways, had a really lovely day being outside, then gamed, and finally proofread the piece so i'll start coding the page when I've got some free time tomorrow! Speaking of, going back to grad school tomorrow so sleeping early! Have yourselves a lovely day 🩷
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 04/08/2026
I want y'all to exercise some caution when it comes to a lot of these "recomps" of games coming out lately, cause all of them are just... very lazy ai ports, if you can even call it that. One tip is to go to the github page (which pretty much all of them have), and see if Claude is a contributor.
A screenshot of the contributors section of the gen1recomp project, one in particular that is pretending they aren't. A red arrow is pointing at the claude logo.
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InnerSpiral (the scary version) @innerspiral.lol · 03/08/2026
Paint on the Canvas
I held back for most of my life because they told me that's how a man builds a foundation.

Keep your teeth clamped shut.

Don't spill the cup.

When the hammer comes down, you don't wince, you just sit on the couch and hold it,

and watch the damn TV.

Everything back then was a faded receipt left out in the rain. All grey. A sunset wasn't anything special.

What was I so fucking scared of? Who was I keeping quiet for?

I was furious. Angry at the air, angry at myself, holding my breath until my lungs felt like dried leaves, convinced that if I let a single drop out, the whole house would drown.

Then I broke the lock ...Or maybe she just shoved her boots through my ribs and crawled out, shouting, let me the fuck out, we're suffocating.

The first time the tears came after the estrogen took hold of me, it was Tuesday. It was a dropped carton of eggs. I sat right there on the floor in my oversized sweater and I wept until my throat hurt. Loud, ugly crying. And goddamn, it was the best thing I'd ever felt.

Have you ever seen colour come back into a room all at once?

Not like a pastel postcard- fuck that

I mean the purple of an spring sky at 7PM. I mean the loud, screaming yellow of a city bus catching the noon light. The beautiful red of a pomegranate split open with your thumbs. I didn't know the grass had fifty different greens, just waiting for me to stop pressing my forehead against the floor.

I mourn the boy sometimes. I do.

And fuck anyone who tells me I'm not allowed to love him. He took most of his life to the chin so I could stand here. He starved himself on silence so I could eat this sunlight. He was my bodyguard.

I look at my hands now, and they're so soft. They shake when I get overwhelmed. I cry at stupid stuff. I laugh until my stomach hurts. I am so goddamn delicate now that it terrifies me, and I will never, ever put that armour back on.
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