iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

⠀ ‶ I’m gonna be how she was, even if parenting isn’t my strong point I can do my best. For Mia, Jess and that other one.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

⠀ ‶ Yeah, she put Mia above everything else. That’s what kind of mother Jessica was. She put her child first before herself. She truly cared about her.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

⠀ ‶ If only she told me from the start, that could buy her extra years. Those sessions are hard, but they’re effective. She could raise her daughter and see her grow up.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

⠀ Hehe. ‶ I had no idea dialysis can kill cancer patients, because of that specific drug.. But, Jess didn’t have enough time for chemo and radiotherapy. If she had, I would have told her to do it.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

⠀ Yes, adorable. ‶ She was. Had she actually survived, you would definitely like her. She’s the reason I’m still alive. But I couldn’t save her. But, with another patient I won’t make the same mistake.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

⠀ Staring at him holding a sleeping baby, finding it adorable. ‶ She was kind, everyone loved her. Her patients liked her because she gave them free cookies. She was also easy to talk to. She was loved by everyone.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

⠀ Crossing her arms slightly. ‶ You might find it funny, but I did name my first child after Jess. Despite her death, I don’t plan on forgetting about her… I respected her more than anyone….ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

⠀ Not minding it. ‶ Well, I didn’t tell you I was pregnant right away. Even though I should have done so. But next time I won’t hide anything from you.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

⠀ She looked slightly to the side. ‶ Maybe you’re right. During my two pregnancies, I had some complications, my thyroid levels were high. Meaning I was likely to miscarry had Jess did not know what to do in this case. Guess she saved me twice from that.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

⠀ She does. ‶ Maybe I’ll be as good as Jess, I knew how to do the procedure to save her but I couldn’t force her to do the surgery.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

⠀ and he’ll be an amazing dad. ‶ Jess was a wonderful doctor and surgeon, she’s everything I wanted to be. I started medical career because of her. Because she was there for me when I was sedated I did the same for her.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She’ll be a great mom to her, like Jess once was. ‶ Jess begged me that she wanted someone to be with her, I called in sick a lot to be with her. I was by her bed when she needed me most. I knew she was dying but I didn’t leave her side.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Jess was everything to her, and since Mia was her child that means Mia is as important now. ‶ When Jess was diagnosed with stage four cancer then brain tumor.. He left her, and the child. He couldn’t deal with it. But I stood by her side, I never left her no matter what. I was there..ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She very much does. She loves kids, she held Mia many times to help Jess. ‶ I’m sure she would accept you as her dad. I didn’t tell you about Jess’s husband because it’s nothing good to talk about. But it’s a good time to tell you now.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She would gently pat the child’s head, being very gentle. She likes kids indeed. ‶ I do, and I see she likes you.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She put her medicines back, as she lays down. Chuckling at how cute he looked holding Mia. ‶ You look cute holding her.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Lis took her medicine then drank water, seeing this she couldn’t help herself from taking a picture, she looks so cute in his arms. ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She does like kids, so she doesn’t mind. ‶ Here, be gentle.ʺ Gently picking up Mia, she put her in his arms very gently. Then she grabbed her bag with her medicines. Her arm is in bandages but it’s healing well. ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Kids really like her it seems. ‶ Would like to hold her for a bit? I need to take medication for my arm pain. You didn’t know this but I had leukemia once and got a transplant.. Jess found a donor to keep me alive when she was alive. She paid for everything.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Mia was basically sleeping holding her clothes. Guess she already accepted her as a mom. ‶ Then, I can put you in responsibility with the two kids while I handle Mia and sometimes other two. I learned watching Jess everyday.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Letting him hug her close. ‶ You know what to do even though you never held a child? I shouldn’t be surprised.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Hugging him really tightly. ‶ I can’t handle all three kids all on my own.. I need a helping hand with all three. I’m still a teenager, I need help with all three even though they are still babies.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Letting him. ‶ But you’ll help me right? ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She just cuddled up to him then. ‶ We were like sisters.. Her death shattered me, but I can’t stay in the loop, I have to move forward eventually…ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Don’t mind her pulling him into the bed, she didn’t want to be alone right now. ‶ She paid for my every hospital treatment, despite not being my direct family. She cared for me, and I cared about her.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ But she has him so she isn’t alone. ‶ Anything can go wrong in transplant surgery and Jess was aware of that. Even if she could make it, I would be brain dead confined to machines to be kept alive. Jess didn’t want that, she already saw me in that state before.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Lying is never a solution. ‶ She wanted me to live, she was afraid something would go wrong that even if she survived I could never wake up.. She didn’t want that.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She already was, talking about it doesn’t make the pain easier.. She can’t pretend everything is fine. ‶ I have to. Jess didn’t want me to do a transplant to save her, she didn’t want me to do it despite me being a match as a donor, because yes I got tested…ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She was surprised by that hug, as she hid her face in his shoulder. ‶ I’m a teenager, Jess wasn’t. I didn’t know if I can pull it off.. But I have to try and prove Jess she was right with entrusting me with her daughter…ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She isn’t even trying to hide her tears at this point anymore. ‶ She did, we spent a lot of time together. I lived with her for a long time too, I helped with the baby. She told me if she were to die, that she wants Mia to have a mom. I agreed, even though I’m a teenager…ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ He understands how she feels. ‶ I respected her choice, despite reanimating attempts.. I couldn’t do anything.. I let her go without pain despite knowing it’s gonna hurt me.. She knew I would blame myself for what happened.. But she wanted me to forgive myself.. She knew me quite well…ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ It’s difficult for her, hence she’s on sick leave for a while now. ‶ Yeah.. I honored her wish not to be hooked onto machines, even though I wanted her to live….ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Because she thought of her best friend like of a sister, they first met in Rehab. ‶ I hated Rehab, but meeting Jess changed how I felt about it. The more time we spent, the more closer we got. Until I got attached to her so bad, I couldn’t bear to lose her…ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She was sad but she can’t show it, she doesn’t like showing she can be upset. ‶ Jess got the adoption papers, money everything.. She trusted me more than her father and her sister. Because I was there, and they weren’t. They were in it for her money, I truly cared for her.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ ‶ Jess wasn’t the only patient.. I can’t make the same mistake just because I can’t get over Jess… I have to live forward.. Jess knew she would die, so she got the paperwork ready knowing that. Jess trusted me so I can’t let her down..ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ ‶ I didn’t do MRI, if I had I would know about brain bleed.. Her parents expect a miracle but their daughter would never wake up.. The bleed got so severe that she flatlined.. If I did an MRI I would know sooner.. Next time I won’t make another mistake.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ ‶ When I had to save a life.. I had to run the code. It sounds exactly as you expect, CPR.. But I kept the thing for a long time, I got the patient heart to beat again but.. due to lack of oxygen that little girl was brain dead and eventually.. it was code blue.. she flatlined.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ ‶ You know.. If it were easy everyone would be a doctor.. because it’s the best job in the world.. despite everything.. because of everything.. But we aren’t heroes.. I’m not a hero.. I became a doctor because I want to help people.. but on my first day someone died..ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She put her sleeve in front to hide her face. ‶ But I.. couldn’t.. Jess was like an older sister to me.. Her death put my medical career in jeopardy .. I kept thinking about her that I made a mistake again and again and again.. I didn’t quit even though I really wanted… after she died..ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She gripped her clothes. ‶ She didn’t want to be hooked onto machines in order to be kept alive. once a patient signs that agreement we have to respect their wishes. your life will never be the same that way. it’s like you’re in a cage. She didn’t want to live knowing she won’t get better.ʺ ⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ Letting him take it, as she put her hand on her chest. ‶ He hit me too for getting her to a hospital, I didn’t care she’s my best friend and I’m not gonna let her die, but eventually she did die. But before that she signed an advance directive… You know what it was…? ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

⠀ She gave him back the plate, laying back down feeling lightheaded. ‶ He only cares about that his girls get potential clients attention, and that they perform good. When she couldn’t have sex for him because she had a child? He hit her, he was pissed she was talking about due to it.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

⠀ She quickly finished her burger. ‶ I knew since day one that something was wrong with Jess, but he didn’t allow me to call an ambulance or check on her. I knew it was cancer.. but he said I’m lying.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

⠀ She ate the burger slowly. ‶ I have to do the best I can for other two too. It never gets easier, I still think about what I could’ve done differently. He never cared.. when she said she had pains, he told her she’ll do the job even if it kills her. That’s what kind of boss he is.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

⠀ ‶ Dialysis is fatal in cancer patients, but no one told me that on my first day, no nurses, no interns and no residents either. If they did.. Mia might not have lost her mom. I didn’t sign up to be a mom, I’m a teen.. but what choice do I have now? I’m not abandoning her ever.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

⠀ She grabbed the burger slowly. ‶ it’s my fault.. I put her on dialysis until I knew it could be fatal.. If I didn’t do what my chief resident told me.. she would be alive.. or maybe she would die days later without a transplant.. But still I did make a mistake.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

⠀ He makes her happy. ‶ If I was Jessica, I could’ve died. Jess.. had kidney failure and heart failure a result from Chemo and Radiation.. Dialysis made it worse. I never had cancer so I didn’t do Chemo and Radiation that’s why I’m healthy. She wasn’t, she left a child behind too.ʺ ⠀⠀

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‍ ‍‍ ‍ ‍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 ， @idealis-stella.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

⠀ She’s happy to rely on him. ‶ I study medicine, telling them to take me off Dialysis was the right call once my pressure dropped. If I wasn’t a med student, they could’ve killed me because they don’t know what they’re doing.ʺ ⠀⠀

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