iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

You ever get a Christmas card that says "The Johnson Family," and it’s one person and three dogs in matching sweaters? iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

The Christmas card says, "Peace and love," but the glitter explosion says, "Good luck cleaning this up." iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

Why do Christmas cards always have one kid looking sweet and the other looking like they’re plotting their escape? iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

Holiday parties are fun until someone shows up with fruitcake. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

"It’s the thought that counts" hits different when you open a gift card with $5 on it. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

Santa isn’t the only one with a list - we all keep receipts just in case. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

The stockings are hung with care, but my nerves are hanging by a thread. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

I can handle the stress of gift shopping, but wrapping them? That’s where I draw the line. #GiftBags iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

The best part of Christmas is seeing everyone smile - the hardest part is pretending I like their casserole. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

If they say, "I need space," it’s not a metaphor, they’re about to disappear for a few weeks. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

They say laughter is the best medicine, but you’re still out here arguing like it’s a cure for ignorance. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

They say your body is a temple, but you’ve been feeding it Popeyes and taking shots like it’s a frat house. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

"I don’t care about looks," means his wallet better be prettier than his face. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

"I’ve changed" means they’re about to do the same sh*t but expect a different reaction. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

"I hate drama" means they’re about to spark some sh*t for no reason. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

"We need to talk" means you’re about to hear everything you did wrong last month. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

"Let’s split the bill" means they came out to eat, not to impress. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

If he says, "I don’t do titles," just know he doesn’t do responsibility either. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

"I like a man who can cook," means she’s tired of takeout. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

If she can describe the shape and size of d*ck she likes, just know she did plenty of research to reach that conclusion. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

"I didn’t even notice," means they noticed everything. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

If they say, "I don’t need anyone," they’re lying. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

When someone says, "I’m not ready for a relationship," it means they’re not ready for one with you. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

When they say, "I’m not in a rush," they’re about to make you late for everything. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

Out of all the adults you talked to today, why was the 6-year-old the only one honest enough and brave enough to tell you your breath stinks? iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

You ever get to work on time, and five hours later, one of your coworkers leans over to tell you your shirt is on backwards? iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

"I ain't going out like that" means things are about to go left. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

"I’m not a morning person," is code for Don’t talk to me till noon. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

"I’ll call you back," is a goodbye in disguise. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

When someone says, "We family," it means you’re about to help them move for a slice of pizza, a bottle of water, a blunt, and a "that’s what’s up" as a thank you. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

"We cool," means there’s ice between y’all somewhere. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

"Do you," is code for You’ll regret it, but I’ll let you learn the hard way. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

If someone offers you "constructive criticism," they’re about to tear you down and call it a favor. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

When someone starts with "Let me be honest," prepare yourself - you're about to hear what you don’t wanna hear. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

"Imma give you a pass," means it’s time for you to go - passes always come with a countdown. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

When they say, "I’m just trying to help," you’re about to get an unsolicited opinion. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

When someone says, "I’m not looking for anything serious," just know they’re playing games on expert mode. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

If they say, "I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed," trust me -you’re still in trouble. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

If someone hits you with "I don’t usually do this," just know - you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

When they say "we need to talk," what they really mean is, "you need to listen." iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

If they say, "Let’s move on," it’s because they lost the argument. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

"I’ll let you know," means - they won’t. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

If they say, "I’m just joking," they meant it but didn’t expect you to get mad. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

When someone says, "I’m a good person," you better check their references. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

When they start with, "Hear me out," it’s because what they’re about to say makes zero sense. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

You ever end an argument with, "Miss me with that bullsh*t?" iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

"The vibes are off" means "I don’t trust these people." iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

You say you're American but when an American walk into the break room you start speaking another language. iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

You ever try to keep a straight face when someone who looks 60 tells you they're 40? iConfused0_0

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iconfused0-0.bsky.social @iconfused0-0.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

Women who call themselves "boss chicks" always got a boss at work who stays on their ass. iConfused0_0

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