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hwlngmad.bsky.social

@hwlngmad.bsky.social
66 followers 41 following 735 posts
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Reposted by @hwlngmad.bsky.social
The Onion @theonion.com · 05/10/2026
This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Hiding in Plane Sight theonion.com/hiding-in-plane-sight
This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Hiding in Plane Sight
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/10/2026
Political Profile: Abdul El-Sayed theonion.com/political-profile-abdu…
Where The ‘El’ In Name Comes From: Ancestors pandering for Latino vote
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/10/2026
Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future
theonion.com
Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future
ITHACA, NY—Acknowledging serious missteps in their handling of a 2024 campus sexual assault case, administrators at Cornell University vowed Tuesday that, going forward, rapists would be forced to wri...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/10/2026
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too theonion.com/report-guy-who-sings-t…
Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too
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Time Lord Soundwave 🇨🇦 @timelordsoundwave.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hey ModRetro fans, this is where your money goes when you buy a Chromatic or M64.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 30/09/2026
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum theonion.com/trump-warns-iran-to-ac…
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum
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The Onion @theonion.com · 29/09/2026
Trump To Rename AI ‘Super Intelligence’ On All U.S. Documents theonion.com/trump-to-rename-ai-sup…
“Even the Constitution?”

Anton Pastranak, Systems Analyst
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Metin Seven, Moon Child's dad 🌝 @seven.eurosky.social · 26/09/2026
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The Onion @theonion.com · 27/09/2026
World's Scientists Admit They Just Don't Like Mice theonion.com/worlds-scientists-admi…
World's Scientists Admit They Just Don't Like Mice
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
FBI Hack Exposes Thousands Of Employee Records theonion.com/fbi-hack-exposes-thous…

“What kind of demented people want to know more about Kash Patel?”

Joel Craney, Patent Reader
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
Kash Patel Phished By Scammer Posing As Kash Patel theonion.com/kash-patel-phished-by-…
Kash Patel Phished By Scammer Posing As Kash Patel
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
“He definitely isn’t fluent, and I doubt he’ll ever get there, but he’s truly come a long way from being unable to pronounce a single word intelligibly.” — Xi Jinping
theonion.com
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit
WASHINGTON—Marveling at how his American counterpart’s grasp of the difficult language had progressed, Chinese leader Xi Jinping told reporters Thursday that he was deeply impressed with how much Pres...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/09/2026
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI theonion.com/dog-cant-believe-guy-s…
Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/09/2026
Russian Oligarch Bankrolls Donald Trump Jr.’s Wedding After Party theonion.com/russian-oligarch-bankr…
“And yet it was still a cash bar.”

Byron Mackie, Hat Inspector
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/09/2026
First New Wild Cat Species Discovered In 100 Years theonion.com/first-new-wild-cat-spe…
“Are you sure we’re ready for the responsibility of a new cat species?”

Rohan Pereira, Puzzle Cutter
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/09/2026
Survey Finds 1 In 3 Americans With Health Insurance Have Medical Debt theonion.com/survey-finds-1-in-3-am…
“If there was a better way to provide healthcare surely another country would have figured it out.”

Rebekah Melton, Diving Board Tester
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/09/2026
Obama Family Dog Passes Away theonion.com/obama-family-dog-passe…

“We’re running out of Obamas to recruit for 2028.”

Trey Kobi, Luxury Upholsterer
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Return of the Living Dan @danlarson.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Writers/Musicians/Artists told you from Day 1 that this was theft. Straight up. Always has been.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026
Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation
Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation
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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026
Judge Judy Retires theonion.com/judge-judy-retires
“With no natural predator, the deadbeat population will explode.”

Darius Berger, Unemployed
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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/09/2026
Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression theonion.com/trump-says-recession-u…
Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression
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hwlngmad.bsky.social @hwlngmad.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
We are so f*cked up as a country right now.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 15/09/2026
Blind Man Who Drove 150 Miles Drunk Avoids Jail theonion.com/blind-man-who-drove-15…
“Now imagine how unstoppable he’d be if he were also deaf and stoned.”

Blake Peck, Sock Packager
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/09/2026
Trump Promises Americans $5,000 If GOP Maintains Control Of Congress theonion.com/trump-promises-america…
“Yes, bribery is crucial to American elections, but we mustn’t forget blackmail and extortion either.”

Ezra Clay, Avocado Pitter
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The Onion @theonion.com · 11/09/2026
Australia Bans AI Music From Charts theonion.com/australia-bans-ai-musi…
“Real AI music fans don’t care about the charts. Or the music. Or anything really.”

Maurice Atkins, Tuber Peeler
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Darren M. A. Calvert @dmacalvert.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
No, thank you. We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations.

And what about the cream of the crop?

Macho-mandalf!
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hwlngmad.bsky.social @hwlngmad.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
💯 f*cking percent.
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hwlngmad.bsky.social @hwlngmad.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Or friendships. I totally lost my cool with a friend who beat me without having sunk tons of hours into the game unlike myself back in the day. It would be nice for the @retronauts.bsky.social to do a retrospective on this gaming series from the 16-bit era only.
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Reposted by @hwlngmad.bsky.social
Mad Scholar Frights @mattzollerseitz.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Oh no, how will millions of people make do without a thing that functionally did not exist four years ago
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/09/2026
MapQuest Jumps To Top Of App Store After Refusing To Rename ‘Lake Ontario’ theonion.com/mapquest-jumps-to-top-…
“Fuck yeah! My kids didn’t drown in ‘Lake America.’”

Vivienne Croteau, Retired Cinephile
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maddie ★ othatsraspberry @othatsraspberry.com · 02/09/2026
🍫
Mgs2 codec
Otacon: remember what the three musketeers say, “all for one and one for all!”
Snake: “candy bars are so smart…”
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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/09/2026
Amazon MGM Narrows List Of James Bond Candidates To 6 Actors, 1 Extremely Suave Ferret theonion.com/amazon-mgm-narrows-lis…
Amazon MGM Narrows List Of James Bond Candidates To 6 Actors, 1 Extremely Suave Ferret
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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/09/2026
Experience The Onion's 9/11 issue the same way a terrified nation did 25 years ago—in print. Become a member, and get your very own copy of this historic edition. membership.theonion.com/totepromo/?…
Experience The Onion's 9/11 issue the same way a terrified nation did 25 years ago—in print. Become a member, and get your very own copy of this historic edition.
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Reposted by @hwlngmad.bsky.social
Random Stranger @randomstranger.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
After that line I couldn't resist making this:
A Mr. Beast thumbnail for a video titled "You Won't BELIEVE What I Did 35 Minutes Ago!" To the left of his smiling face is a guy reading a comic at a news stand, on the right are dead people in bloody streets.

If you know the reference, you get it.
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hwlngmad.bsky.social @hwlngmad.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Where the hell are the Robert Stacks of the world and can we get them to go and see the people of Congress?!?
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MLB @mlbbot.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Payton Tolle is an absolute gem 😭
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Play History @playhistory.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Sixty years ago today, Ralph Baer wrote his initial proposal for a game device that would plug into a standard television set. While his initial ideas are not what became the Odyssey, this moment was highly consequential for the future of video games. 🧵
The first four pages of Ralph Baer's "Disclosure Backup Data -TVGD" dated September 1, 1966. This became the basis for the technology that powered the first video game console, the Odyssey.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 31/08/2026
U.S. Lobbying Against Global Plastic Limits theonion.com/u-s-lobbying-against-g…

“It doesn’t matter what they do, the papier-mâché revolution is imminent.”

Trent Stensby, Systems Analyst
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/08/2026
Child Given First Stock To Learn About Losing Everything Early theonion.com/child-given-first-stoc…
Child Given First Stock To Learn About Losing Everything Early
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The Emotion Engine @emotion-engine.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Trying to figure out how to put a Sega Saturn at half mast
The cover art for Frankenstein: Through The Eyes of the Monster Starring Tim Curry where he is looking at you smugly in a lab coat.
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hwlngmad.bsky.social @hwlngmad.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
IYKYK. God speed, Dolly. The world is truly less of a place without you in it.
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FT @fucktheory.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Imagine being talented and beautiful and rich and famous and still the most noteworthy thing about you is how good a person you are.
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Quest 64 Official @quest64official.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
RIV Dolly You are one of the few people cool enough to get your likeness on a pinball machine and actually deserve it ❤️
The Dolly Parton pinball machine
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Rolling Stone @rollingstone.com · 25/08/2026
Dolly Parton's family asked that, in lieu of flowers, fans make a donation to the singer's Imagination Library. Here's what the charity does ⬇️ www.rollingstone.com/music/music-...
rollingstone.com
Turning Pages: Inside Dolly Parton's Imagination Library
Core team of 15 staff and thousands of volunteers and partners help the country-music philanthropist deliver books to kids around the world.
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hwlngmad.bsky.social @hwlngmad.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
For myself, here is my list (in no particular order): 1. Genesis / Mega Drive 2. NES / Famicom 3. TurboGrafx-16 / PC Engine 4. Dreamcast 5. 2600 6. Switch 7. Neo Geo AES 8. PS1 9. SNES / Super Famicom 10. SG-1000 Now, if it was consoles and handhelds, this would be totally different.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/08/2026
Study: Not Many Disco Songs About Daytime theonion.com/study-not-many-disco-s…
Study: Not Many Disco Songs About Daytime
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
EVERYONE - dashare.zone ADMIN
A SKELTEN HAULEN CHAIN'S IN HELL "EVERYONE SHOULD BE PAID DOUBLE WHAT THERE MAKING NOW AND HOT DOGS SHOULD BE FREE,THE ZOO SHOULD HAVE CATS YOU CAN PET, OUTLAW LEAF BLOWERS" JUST USE A FUCKEN RAKE , BURNING GASOLINE TO MOVE LEAFS SLOWER AND LOUDER THAN A RAKE IS SOMETHING AN AI DIPSHIT WOULD DO - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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Maxwell Yezpitelok @mrmxy.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
"If you don't use AI you'll get left behind" Brother I've sent emails from a Super Nintendo, I fucking love getting left behind
Photo of a CRT monitor next to a Super Famicom console with an XBAND modem inserted. The monitor's screen shows the XBAND's email composing screen. The message being composed has the subject line "I'm writing from a snes :00" and is addressed at a user named "フフフ".Screenshot of the email composing screen from the previous photo.Screenshot of the bsnes-plus Super Nintendo emulator open on Ubuntu. The game loaded is identified as "X-Band Modem BIOS (J)" and the emulator window shows the XBAND email inbox screen. There are two emails: one from user "mrmxy" with the subject line "i'm writing from a snes :0" and one from "System" with the subject line "Welcome!!" Behind the emulator window is a terminal window showing the emulator's log (indicating emulated modem activity) and a file explorer window with some Super Nintendo ROMs and save files.The bsnes-plus emulator's window now shows the content of the email, which reads (beside a profile image of an ape with sunglasses):

mrmxy 
住所 Earth, Solar System
送信日 2023.6.17
タイトル im writing from a snes :00
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/08/2026
This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Inter-Not-So-Stellar
theonion.com
Inter-Not-So-Stellar
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Sarah Taber @sarahtaber.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
See NYT asked me for an op-ed on the Colorado River water issue. So that's what I told them. And the editors panicked & cancelled the piece. In case we're wondering why "nobody can figure out how to solve this difficult issue." We absolutely can, a lot of our professional talkers are just cowards.
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