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howardsbend.bsky.social

@howardsbend.bsky.social
628 followers 1.5K following 3.7K posts
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Republicans are playing a game called “Clueless,” a modified version of the game Clue. Rules are: make an absurd accusation ignoring facts, then identify a culprit, a location, and a murder weapon. Senator Eric Schmitt (R-MO), your turn - Jack Smith, in the State Farm Arena in Atlanta, with a hawk.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Kristi Noem was fired at DHS for spending taxpayer money on an advertising campaign featuring the image of her on horseback. Trump said he knew nothing about it. Trump is offering his own taxpayer-funded advertising campaign, featuring Donald Trump. Will Trump also claim he knew nothing about it?
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I used to turn to sports as a break from the depressing news. Now, as a Phillies fan, I turn to the news for a break from the depressing sport. At least the news offers a slim chance of a positive outcome.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“Say it ain’t so, Susan Collin’s. Say it ain’t so!”
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Trump: You on Truth Social? Trump:GREATEST THREE DAYS OF MY PRESIDENCY! No, wait… No, GREATEST THREE DAYS IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA! At the UN, we told the world that WE CALL THE SHOTS. GREAT meeting with Chairman Xi. Very respectful and powerful. BEST TRADE DEAL EVER. AMERICA IS GREAT AGAIN!
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Welcome to the new world order.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
If a tree falls on a deserted island, does it make a sound? If no national political news outlets cover a major summit, did the summit actually happen?
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Trump plans to securitize D.C. Under the Ballroom will be a nuclear command center. The new Arc will house snipers and drones. The Trump Kennedy Center will have new high tech CIA data center. The Reflecting Pool will dock nuclear submarines. D.C. becomes a military base with four sports teams.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Trump has bullied our neighbors, Mexico and Canada. He has weakened our alliances with NATO. He has abandoned our commitment to Ukraine. He has ignored pleas from our Gulf allies to defend their territories. Taiwan will soon discover that our commitment to its survival has an expiration date.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
In what some are calling a tectonic shift, Canada is slowly drifting away from its dependence on the U.S. and toward the European Union. Apparently, continental drift can be a foreign policy.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
MS NOW has been banned from the White House Press Corps. Undeterred, MS NOW vows to continue its obligation to cover the president 24/7, even if they have to watch him on TV like the rest of us.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
After yesterday’s Fed rate increase announcement, Kevin Warsh was seen boarding an Eastern Airlines flight to El Salvador. I never realized that the Federal Reserve was tied to Homeland Security.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Trump announced that America would be returning to the Moon by 2028. So, naturally, there’s only one thing left to do: Rename the Kennedy Space Center the Trump Kennedy Space Center. Kennedy’s goal was to reach the moon by the end of the decade. Trump’s goal is to own the moon by 2028.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Trump’s plan to use the Postal Service to restrict mail-in ballots was blocked. The Postmaster General wants the USPS involved in the elections. I have a solution. Hang Trump’s mug shot in every post office alongside the “Most Wanted” posters. Finally a bipartisan solution to a problem.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Ok, forget the Kennedy Center. It is not that important.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I asked ChatGPT how these doomsday scenarios involving AI might happen. It replied: “I can explain how AI might pose a threat to humanity. However, there’s no need to focus on worst-case scenarios. I hope that answers your question.” Is there an AI survival bunker, or should I just ask ChatGPT?
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Trump removed the 10% tariff on Irish whiskey. The decision followed requests from people at the Irish Open which he just attended. This should be good news in Boston. Now, let’s invite Trump to a Canadian golf tournament to solve the trade war with Canada….solving trade issues one tee at a time.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
With the insight of a snail, President Trump endorsed the unification of Northern Ireland with Ireland. It’s the logic that approves Israel annexing the West Bank and Gaza, while Russia gets Ukraine. In Trump, world, self-determination means the big and armed country gets to absorb its neighbor.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Trump just promised $5,000 to each of the 12 members of the Federal Open Market Committee if they vote to cut the federal funds rate by quarter-point next week at their meeting. And if they go for a half-point cut, Trump has hinted at an even larger bonus check. Checks ($$) and balances.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Show me the money, Donald. Come on, say it, “Show me the money, $5,000.” Not later, but now. Show me the $5.000. Show me the money.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Rumors are circulating that John Fetterman’s video presentation to the Republican convention was AI-generated. I was suspicious when Fetterman showed up wearing long pants instead of his work boots and shorts. I guess AI doesn’t trust Republicans to accept Fetterman for who he really is.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
It is 25 years since 9/11. Trump gave us his 25th version of his events on that day. The latest version has him at Ground Zero only to be saved by two firefighters. Next year we will learn that Trump scaled the rubble of the North Tower saving a dozens of people before the South Tower collapsed.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
James Carville once said that when he dies he wants to come back as the bond market. He was implying that the bond market knows everything. The bond market cannot be manipulated by mere mortals. Bissent, who once thought of himself as smarter than the bond market, is having a rude awakening.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Bissent compared Canada to a dachshund that bothered his Shepherd. He sees diplomacy as “the big dog versus the little dog.” But Canada is like a feisty terrier: scrappy, and capable of biting the Shepherd on the nose when provoked. Size matters, but so does having teeth and using them when needed.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
The Arc de Triomphe in Paris was built to commemorate Napoleon’s military victories. The Arc de Trump will commemorate America’s amazing victory over Venezuela, its continuing victories in Iran, its future victories over Greenland and and all those victories in the trade wars with the world
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Yesterday, Scott Bessent blamed Ukraine for helping drive up oil prices because its drones have been hitting Russian oil facilities. That’s like blaming a passenger for the deaths on the Titanic because, after the iceberg hit, he grabbed a few life jackets for himself and his family.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
How much do you think they’d pay for the new Trump one dollar coin in Canada? Is it subject to a 50% retaliatory tariff?
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Trump once said he wanted to run the government like he runs his businesses. Hegseth runs the Casino Division, the crown jewel of the portfolio. He’s blown through the budget, underperformed in the field, driven morale into the basement, and turned a winner into a losing bet. Pete, you’re fired.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
$600 million for a hand job….that is a big waste of taxpayers’ money.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Trump invited Russia to the G20, deciding that four years of isolation the war was enough time in the penalty box. Trump said the West could learn from Russia’s expertise in sanctions and frozen assets. Russia offered to stop selling weapons to Iran, asking only for one thing in return - Ukraine.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Canada has agreed to rename all 5 Great Lakes in spirit of accommodation with Trump and the USA.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Trump today announced that U.S. will be taking control of 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil reserves. Nothing says “energy independence” like commandeering 65 billion barrels of another country’s oil reserves.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
The trade war with Canada continues to escalate. Trump announces a 50% tariff on a wide range of Canadian goods. Canada immediately retaliates with the nuclear option: an indefinite suspension of all Canadian bacon shipments to the United States. Negotiations are expected to resume shortly.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Canada has a weapon in the trade war with the U.S.- potash, fertilizer farmers need to grow corn and soybeans. The U.S. gets 88% of its imported potash from Canada, Canada could try a 50% export duty on potash. U.S. farmers would discover that the trade war has arrived at the fertilizer dealer.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
The trade war with Canada is on. Canadian trade experts have been searching for their version of China”rare earth minerals.” They found it: Canadian hockey players. Canada can prohibit Canadian hockey players from playing for the NHL. How long before Trump calls Carney to end this trade war?
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
The news led with two needed “feel-good” stories. First, Prince Harry and Meghan returned to England, bringing joy to the Commonwealth and the rest of the planet. Then came the reunion of Michael Cohen and Donald Trump on a podcast. Saturday is when the news division becomes People magazine.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
We don’t give Trump enough credit for his accomplishments. In 2019, the federal deficit was under $1 trillion. Determined to outdo himself, this year’s deficit is projected to top $2 trillion. When Trump promised to run the country like his businesses, we should have believed him. You’re fired.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
TACO strikes again! The threatened 50% tariffs on Canadian goods have been postponed for a few more days. Apparently, Trump’s only trade strategy continues to work, at least in his small mind.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
36,000 American servicemen who died in the Korean War collectively rolled over in their graves as Trump announced he was abandoning military exercises with South Korea while reopening talks with North Korea. The slogan “America First” should be revised to “America First and Our Allies Last.”
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Trump developed a plan to boost morale among the sailors on the USS Donald J. Trump who have been deployed for many months. Congress passes Trump’s $1.776 billion slush fund. Trump gives every sailor on the carrier a $1,776 bonus and he gets $1.776 billion. Everyone wins…some win more than others.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I was not a fan of Trump putting his name on everything to secure his legacy. But I’ll make an exception. Let’s rename the carrier that’s been stuck in the Gulf for months and is short on food and water with morale sinking like Trump’s approval rating to- The USS Donald J. Trump and Abraham Lincoln.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Trump once referred to American service members who died in combat as “losers and suckers.” I guess the soldiers now aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln are the lucky ones.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Trump swore hardship to the Middle East—food shortages, no medical supplies, and a lack of drinking water. We assumed he was talking about the Iran. No, he was describing the conditions for troops on the USS Abraham Lincoln. Nothing says “Support our troops” like making them as collateral damage.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Harrison Ford will do a remake of Air Force One. The Secret Service inform the President that Air Force One is target of a missile. “Get me the hell off this plane.” Agents hustle him through a catering truck. The decoy plane is blown up. The President returns and passes the Save America Act.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Looks like Karoline Leavitt has finally grown tired of her role as Trump’s designated decoy and announced she’ll be leaving the sinking Air Force One. Apparently, she is unhappy with the Trump policy of “women and press secretaries first.”
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
I’m genuinely surprised Mike Lindell couldn’t lock down the all-important Somali Republican vote in yesterday’s Minnesota gubernatorial primary. Apparently, the Somalian voters couldn’t get comfortable with his position.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Trump insists the Strait of Hormuz is completely open and perfectly safe. To prove it, he’s sending a group of reporters through the Strait on an oil tanker. Trump, of course, will be monitoring the situation from a catering truck thousands of miles away.
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howardsbend.bsky.social @howardsbend.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Trump insists the Strait of Hormuz is completely open and perfectly safe. To prove it, he’s sending a group of reporters through the Strait on an oil tanker. Trump, of course, will be monitoring the situation from a catering truck thousands of miles away.
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