iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Bread making is so fucked up. The yeast tries so hard to grow and live. But we kill and eat the fuck out of it. But you hold some yeast back sometimes so it can witness this atrocity and pass the trauma along to the next batch. The goal is to get a dough that’s 100% trauma I think.

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Getting married is like having your hand cut off and replaced with your bride/groom’s hand and spending the night at the ER. That is, it can be like that at Dr Frankenstein’s drive through chapel and monstertorium, located on 10th and Redondo

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I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately and one thing is for sure. I like music a bunch

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Ladybugs are sluts frfr no further questions, please respect my lack of concern for your inquisition and my distain for your effort to engage with something that makes no call for conversation. You fool.

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Shooting the shit is a good way to pass time if you like loud noises and big smelly messes

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Don’t be so high and mighty, if frogs tasted like rats you’d eat them half as often as rats eat pigeons. That’s just scientific fact.

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Nobody should ever have to endure the pain of not winning an Oscar. #giveEveryoneAnOscar

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A lot of people are saying “bark” as though they themselves are puppy dogs. This is a silly practice, and highly ineffective in its trickery. And yet, I adore it.

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Taking secrets to the grave is selfish and pointless. Now tell me the good gossip before I pull this plug.

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It is WILD how much our skin keeps smells trapped in. Having hunted big* game, internal organs reek to high hell. *was it the most dangerous game? Perhaps. Perhaps not. No.

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Everybody be quiet the collapse of civilization is on.

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I’m old enough to forget what I am old enough to remember.

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Horses make up an alarming portion of the ungulate population. I’m just saying bro. We gotta do something before those long faced preglues clip clop their way to an ungulate faunacide

Watching a movie I’m not actually watching (2027) and I have a few thoughts. 1. Total lack of diversity in this film, it’s exclusively douchebags. 2. Excellent cinematography 3. The love story isn’t believable because why would they be genuinely happy when I thought I was and then…I’m so lonely

The best part about having a condition like yours is that you won’t have to see a ton of doctors and go through endless tests. The worst part is the embarrassment and shame you should feel for wasting our time with your hurt butt. I can tell that joke btw, my butt hurts

Maybe everything in space is just afraid of everything else and trying to get away as fast as they can (so they don’t get swallowed by something bigger or pelted by something smaller or whatever) and math can’t explain how or why exactly that’s true.

How many fucks would a would fuck giver fuck if a would fuck giver would fuck good?

Did you know I’m the world’s foremost (and somehow also secondmost) leading experts on facts I know without needing to look them up? It’s true!

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House @houseman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

If a tractor could love I feel like it would still just choose not to.

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I demand a decacycle. No further questions, please respect our privacy in this trying time.

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House @houseman.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

I don’t care how filthy and untoward the word on the street is. I, for one, have nothing but politely positive things to say about your mom’s head game.

A ranch is a place that smells like horse shit why the fuck is the salad dressing named that?

Garfield is obviously emotionally stunted which causes him to lash out at John and to eat his feelings while hiding behind a veneer of coolness. Depending on how cool you find him.

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Batman but it’s just a stick figure made from baseball bats. Otherwise same powers, same secret identity, same dead parents.

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Back to sleep, you’ve been a great audience.

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Quickly, before I forget ,I remember or at least know

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House @houseman.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

If tattoos and babies were vaccines for rabies we’d all have a drunk slutty new year

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If I had to eat an endangered animal, for science or something, I’d probably use steak sauce or something, they’re probably all gamey.

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House @houseman.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Affix the laser pointers and loose the cats of what can loosely be called war.

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I’ve been training for decades to be the old person you meet that’s been playing cribbage their whole life even though you never met any young people playing cribbage and we are the same age and do you want to be friends? My mom made lemonade and brownies.

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If you’re not team Beavis we can’t be friends.

My doctor only ever tells me stuff like psssssstttt or ps ps ps ps. I expect better out of a member of the illustrious Pepper family.

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If Forest Gump were made today Tom Hanks would meet Donald Trump to celebrate victory in pickleball over Venezuela. Not Forest Gump, Tom Hanks. Meta is so in right now you guys

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I applaud the NFL for supporting the free streaming of their games. Putting games on 30 different platforms that all require subscriptions was a brilliant back door advocacy of so called “piracy.” Go NFL!

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Toilets get a lot of shit because of the nature of their existence, and honestly I think it’s completely justified.

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Actual pitch overheard in LA during lunch today. “Mr Rodger’s fights Santa Clause” justified thusly “I just miss him so much, do you have just like a bump or something to get me through? Sorry about the shit pitch, I have crabs and it’s been a huge distraction.” Honestly? Compelling. Hope it’s made.

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Toadies the Wet Sprocket. That’s my exact age, where I have amused myself with the combination of those two bands.

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The best part about ATMs is that since the bank doesn’t have to pay a teller it frees them up to charge you a fee for every automated transaction!

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I don’t pretend to know much about the American economy. No, I prefer to pretend to know about the economy in Narnia. It’s not looking good this quarter you know.

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I’ve started seeing a woman. I swear I can see her even when I close my eyes. It’s Hillary Clinton, and I can’t escape her image or her repeated requests for bowls of the blood of the left. Fuck it, it’s been a long dry spell, Imma count it.

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Labor unions are when two women giving birth spontaneously conjoin until the babies arrive. It was the demand to leave work to see such a thing that lead to the 40 hour work week and the weekend. So if you enjoy having a life outside of work, thank a labor union.

In my quaint little village we have a deep tradition of passing along wisdom to the youth through wise sayings or quotations. For example, around this time of year you’re constantly hearing the famous saying, “the early worm gets the squeaky grease or else it gets the hose again.” And boy does it!

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I taught a crow to do my taxes but I don’t know how so now me and this bird are just chillin both not doing my taxes.