iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

starting to feel a lil bit more like myself again and wanting to be around other people more again maybe I do still have something to offer without having to push myself to be anything more than who I am

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

having weird nerve issues… drinking coffee and it feels cold on my lips but warm on my tongue woahg

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

having one of those periods of time where all I can do is bedrot and have been blessed by my supervisor being unwell and cancelling meetings and assessments which is great, bc I can’t even make myself shower rn and now I don’t have to! hehe yaaayyy _(: 」∠)_ rot time enabled

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I have no idea who I am or what I’m doing or what’s wrong with me anymore

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

the one and only selfie I’ll ever post publicly bc I like how my hair is sitting today ft. bug enclosures in the bg

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

sometimes I think about the fact that my commissions a few years ago were sometimes significantly more expensive than they are now but sometimes performed better and sometimes I can’t tell if it’s bc my art has gotten worse/less desirable or if it’s just the state of the economy or both

370

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

I think it’s not that I don’t want to stream I just have horrendous insecurity and feel imposter syndrome just over the idea that anyone would even want to engage with me bc I’m not fun to spend time with I think

380

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

I’m tired of hating myself this much I’ve been in and out of therapy for over half my life at this point I’ve grown and recovered in many ways but no matter what I do, I can’t seem to shake that off I can get on with day to day stuff and cope that way but I absolutely despise who I am

270

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

my medication changes may have helped the panic attacks go away again but I am back to being ✨deeply depressed✨

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

sometimes I find myself inexplicably attracted to Greg Davies

140

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

checked my resting heart rate casually ~120 today CALM TF DOWN YEN

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

I am TIRED of being TIRED GRAAAHHH literally nothing I do helps me feel more awake I’m just perpetually exhausted regardless of what I do or the amount of sleep I get I feel at any given moment I could flop somewhere and fall asleep instantaneously

140

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

also concluded btw that yes, I am

050

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

thinking about the time I was casually SA’d with a bar of Green and Black’s 85% in the middle of a supermarket it would’ve probably been more traumatic if it wasn’t so bizarre

120

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

I don’t know where to go with art anymore I feel unsatisfied partly with the quality but mostly idk I feel like my art is generic

360

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

my meds were working really well for 6 months and I finally felt mostly “normal” but this past month I really have not I have been a mess I increased my dose this week and it seems that it has smacked me in the face with anxiety that feels even worse than before I started haha, yippee, yay :)

160

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

want draw but too eepy oh so eepy had a little nap and it made me more eepy bleepy

050

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

I’m tired of hating myself I’m doing my best to be a good person and to do good things I’m not a ‘bad’ person, I think but I feel like I have the capacity for so little I can’t do enough or be enough

050

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

I don’t have much in common with my mum, but one thing we certainly have in common is absolute refusal to go to a doctor when we have physical health issues 🙂 I’m fine I’ll go when I think I’m dying

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

genuinely mentally distressed by the situation in glasgow rn a central part of glasgow just fully ablaze and buildings that have been there for generations just…gone thankfully there have been no reported casualties so far but it still feels surreal somehow

170

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

I don't know if I'm nonbinary bc I don't understand gender (in terms of my own sense of identity), but I DO know that when I'm at my most androgynous and when people use they/them I feel happy

080

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

I wish my mental state was just more stable nothing even really changes in my day to day life, but I swing between “I’m happy to be alive, I love so many things in my life” and “I should probably just disappear tbh” for no apparent reason

270

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 13/02/2026

I had a very productive day today, but that also meant taking my meds over 12h late bc I forgot brain zaps go bzzt

040

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

i will say one thing i rly like about doing a physics phd is that the ratio of neurodivergent people is WAY higher here than in any other working environment i've been in lol like i feel as though my colleagues actually 'get' me for once it's great

160

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

compiling a list of creatures my bf has compared me to currently, we have: - raccoon - deer - armadillo - flying squirrel - a particularly scrunkly kitten - baby dwarf gecko - various small beetles and isopods (“bug” has become his main term of endearment towards me)

250

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

bought nice fancy cake for flatmate bday the other day, had a rly nice light fluffy cream instead of icing and it was the best cake I’ve ever had …unfortunately, since cutting out dairy my sensitivity to it has gone up tenfold my tummy hurts so bad

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

medication update: it’s helping, I think I’m as depressed as always, but the agoraphobia doesn’t feel so debilitating anymore and I seem to cope better with the stressful things that’d usually cause me to enter an overwhelmed breakdown

190

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

bweh struggling to feel human lately

040

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

turns out a side effect of taking an SNRI is dilated pupils, a manic stare and clenched jaw mentally I feel okay, but I now don’t want to leave my house for other reasons lmao

150

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 12/11/2025

as part of my singing lessons, I’ve been doing nightly breathing exercises to improve my breath control somehow, tonight my brain decided to use that as fuel for a spontaneous panic attack I’m so tired I need a new fcking brain, man

350

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

sneak peek of things happening...

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

second singing lesson today I am once again so nervous I may frow up when does the anxiety end 🥲

040

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 27/10/2025

update: I survived we ended up not actually singing for the first lesson, just breathing exercises and v minor vocal warmups to get used to my actual breath control is apparently actually v good (thanks to pilates) but she already pinpointed where my main issue is with breathing when speaking

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 26/10/2025

I booked a singing lesson for tomorrow but I’m freaking out lol I don’t think I can do it aaAAA

130

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 20/10/2025

half hour single layer study I know this is scuffed but I never draw on just one layer, bweh

172

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 19/10/2025

in other news I reached out to a singing instructor I don’t wanna continue being so embarrassed to sing in front of anyone aaa

150

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 19/10/2025

i wonder what this might be...

140

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 07/10/2025

I was having a rly rough day with my PhD today and my bf came in to meet me straight from the office to cheer me up 🥹 I feel so blessed

050

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 27/09/2025

my bf kept saying “goose geese” while he was sleepy and I didn’t know what he meant (or what he was saying) so I gave him a confused forehead kiss and now saying “goose geese” has become “forehead kiss pls”

240

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 15/09/2025

my sous chef keeps leaving hair in the food

030

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

I’m finally going back to meetings with my research group prior to starting my PhD agoraphobia is hitting hard and I feel sad that I might end up not doing art anymore

220

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 25/08/2025

I love being suddenly gripped by overwhelming anxiety and hopelessness for the future hormones rly making all of the background thoughts launch themselves to the front of my brain at maximum velocity

130

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 24/08/2025

recent cooking 🖤 we like to try new recipes at least once a week

370

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 22/07/2025

I still find it so much easier to do my draft sketches on my iPad I’m hoping I’ll get used to using the tablet more since my iPad is starting to run pretty badly, but if it continues to feel this much more natural I might just…sell the tablet and buy a newer iPad

010

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 21/07/2025

I hate having such sensitive skin aaAAAA I finally found products that work for me, and over the past year 3 of them have been either discontinued or the formula has changed to something that I can no longer use bc of an ingredient that makes my skin flare up

110

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

man… I sent out one support post on twt and I feel like my engagement there has completely tanked again bc of it my art performs better significantly here despite having like 1/5 of the number of followers I do prefer it here anyway, so maybe it’s a sign

140

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 17/02/2025

not me insisting on repeatedly listening to a song which I KNOW will make me cry

120

yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

update btw: I’m quitting my retail job just two more shifts left

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yen but worse @honkshuii.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

photo study that I’m too embarrassed to post on main why is art so HARD

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