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Simon J

@hobnobking.bsky.social
431 followers 160 following 4.2K posts

One of those late middle-aged men with a large synthesiser collection you were warned about. Widower. Single Dad. Crown green bowls prodigy. Cymraeg/Suomi/Svenska.

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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 11h
Yes it does. And if that core swings like those two did then you're made. You did tell me. I've a long held view that if you're going to play the guitar, you should play the bass as well. You learn where melody resides.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 11h
They were tremendous. And musically the whole thing was held together by a drummer on a simple 4 drum kit and a bassist playing simple lines.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 11h
It's an interesting instrument, but there's very little nuance to be summoned from it. So, the ukulele of keyboards.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 11h
I saw them live and the miasma of various aftershaves and scents that swept over me when they came on will live with me forever.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 11h
I've been accordioning and it's quite the workout which has given me an idea for a new manosphere workout that'll make you hate both even more.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 11h
'No return on the investment we made' I think.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14h
Where's my medal, eh?
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14h
Would YOU buy this, Bluesky?
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14h
Easy, I lost a job in a day and a half by simply firing a wheel through the roof of a workshop while changing a tyre.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14h
In terms of flight endurance, Musk would have been better off putting four big springs under his car and boinging about in an Inspector Gadget stylee.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 16h
Fuckin' Biscoff.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 16h
OR I could boil the kettle
static.klipy.com
Eugene Levy as Johnny Rose: I Don't Know
ALT: Eugene Levy as Johnny Rose: I Don't Know
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 16h
Lads, I'm going to try making posh coffee on the boiling, hissing, spitting, can't yer see I'm giving yer all she's got Captain, posh coffee machine again. See you next week.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 17h
Of course. I'm thrilled to have found a way to work a laser level into my regime.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 17h
Look mate, I clipped my nose hair today so don't get cocky.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 17h
It's all going terribly well.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 17h
I've been ironing, lads. No point doing it if I can't tell anyone.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 17h
dialogue.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 17h
that kind of thing. By which I mean part time white revolutionaries looking to clout a copper or torch a police car on behalf of minorities. Nobody I mixed with still thought they needed that kind of help
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 17h
When my marriage kind of moved me into the race relations and equality movements by default, one of the first things I noticed was both spent a lot of time ridding themselves of these kinds of loud, confrontational and frankly disruptive elements. They had no time at all
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
The midterm elections.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
I wonder what Wes' gaydar is picking up.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Maybe I'm wrong but I thought Tottenham was a melting pot even in Ron's day. Personally I don't think Ron is real enough to have a passport but maybe I'm a cynic.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Wasted journey if he didn't pop into Juicy Roots for a goat curry.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Still furious the world won't bend over backwards to accommodate your every whim and fancy then?
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Wellllllll, I'd go with the first few moments after the Dr stopped checking my prostate, myself.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
Absolutely it. I've been asked to engineer some 'statement' modifications to beautifully designed and built cars just so the owner can sleep at night.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
How dare this man have interacted with Man city's owners before they were even accused of any wrongdoing is quite the sell even for Kemi.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
I did offer to microwave them for him but...naaah
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Says a man who once made a pot noodle baguette.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
I've just watched a mate eat a jar of 8 cold hotdogs for his dinner. In my kitchen. Which I'm going to get crime scene cleaners to nuke tomorrow.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Respect has become a byword for acquiesce.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
It's very strange. Like the speed with which I replied got me the job.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Or might become principle dancer at Bolshoi Ballet.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Might become one of those online business consultants that sells their 3 tips for instant wealth.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
Asked to quote for a job I really don't want to do. Quoted a daft amount of money to get rid. Got the job. ??
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
A challenging busk.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
It makes you long for the days when the BBC had a Political Editor who didn't think he was there to pluck inferences and innuendos out of thin air because he reckons they're good for business.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I think it's more that anyone who thinks that they should be other people's primary consideration as they make their choices has an arrogance problem and people don't like that.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Oh now come on. At least give me a head start.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
If you don't want to hear me play La Vie En Rose over and over you'll have to deposit money in my PayPal.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I've bought an accordion and expect to be clubbed to death sometime in November.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I made some last time I went to Lapland to see my mum's side of the family. I have established a Northern mission Inari.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Ginger parkin with strong tea.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Trust me, nobody noticed.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Liking the 'Surly 6-year-old playing Mary in the school nativity' delivery a lot.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Make a war film rubbish: The Battle Of The Dinner Plate Shrink The Bismarck. Coal Tits Story
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
My God, he's a aphoristic fridge magnet now.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
Behold the idiot that has broken something by not following my simple instructions phoning to complain that the something has broken.
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Simon J @hobnobking.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
It'd been ages since I've seen one of these in the wild. It didn't seem injured or distressed so I lent it upright against the end of the fence so the other members of the flock might see it. Numbers have been in decline since the 90s, so let's hope it's been a successful mating season.
A single car hubcap lies sadly by the side of the road.
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