Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 23/01/2026Ooh ooh it's @unchcrosswords.com - a little bit of tangible joy 371
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025Also can't ignore Kotozakura, currently the only second rank (Ozeki) rikishi. One, because of his magnificent double boob configuration, and two because I don't like Kotozakura and it's fun to watch him struggling at the moment. 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025I have to mention Takayasu, mainly because he's an old hairy fella that really looks like he's had enough of your shit 110
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025...Abi. Cheeky in a different way, Abi absolutely loves a henka. That's when you sidestep your opponent at the initial charge leaving them flailing to the clay. Quite why nobody has worked out that he's absolutely going to do this is beyond me; it's disrespectful, sure, but it wins bouts (sometimes) 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025Ura. Who doesn't love cheeky chappy Ura, with his hot pink mawashi and plucky spirit? He's basically the Rey Mysterio of Sumo, coming up with creative ways to use his opponents' size against them and generally doing his best for the kids. A babyface through and through. Unlike: 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025Aonishiki is Ukranian, with a freestyle wrestling background that's been completely bamboozling his opponents. He's 21, which is just unfair, and smaller than many opponents, but he's beginning to tear up the top Makuuchi division. The sky's the limit - Mystic Meg predicts Ozeki rank soon. 110
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025The polar opposite of Asakoryu is Kayo. If you've ever wondered what it would look like if an egg decided to take up Sumo, this guy - short, round, immovable - has you covered. 110
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025Of course, Asakoryu is the real highlight in terms of spark plug dudes: this guy, almost gut-free, is an absolute powerhouse despite being small and relatively light in the sumo world. Great to watch. 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025Wakatakakage has the best name and appears to be one large muscle with some equally large muscles glued on top. Shoulders like boulders. Certainly has potential for a run up the ranks, at least he'd better, because he's one of my favourites. Look at the lad. What a whopper. 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025Hoshoryu, the other Yokozuna, has been in post for a few months. Full of fun outside the Dohyo and able to kill a man with his glare inside it, he's more technical than Onosato - and, judging by the gold stars he keeps handing out to lesser opponents that beat him, still finding his feet at top rank 110
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 16/07/2025First, Onosato. The massive newly-crowned Yokozuna is basically a mix between a shaved bear and a lovely baby. Can't move backwards. When he's moving forwards he will smash you out of the ring with pure power. Once the skill of backwards movement has been mastered, all will be dust. 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 24/03/2025Without downloading new pictures, where are you mentally? 000
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 21/02/2025I think that would make for a surprisingly plausible explanation for everything. Except for Gary's death, which must remain canon because it was THE BEST 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 27/01/2025Dark day for the old thinker, lads. Nothing to worry about, there's a path ahead and all that, but work is suffering mightily and I feel like I can't just not today. EW GROSS PERSONAL MICROBLOGGING shut up 060
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 24/11/2024An important part of preparing any meal with Alphabites is seeing if my kids notice 000
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 24/11/2024People of Bluesky. Let's get to know each other better. What is your all-time favorite TV show? Quote share your answer in gif form. 110
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 23/11/2024If any dads are wondering how to push an already bleak run to Saturday morning dance class completely over the abyss 000
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 18/11/2024Do giving blood, everyone. They have treats and squash 100
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 14/11/2024I presume Adam Cole: is looking for that elusive guest spot on the Simpsons / ran out of fake tan and just rubbed himself with some turmeric / really needs his liver looking at 000
Alex Cox @hipattack.bsky.social · 12/11/2024"Well boys, the hospital has ordered a fountain. Any ideas?" "Wrinkly fuckin' ballbags mate." "Tourette's Steve, you son of a gun, you've done it again" 000
