iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

@sigmagears9.bsky.social remember there's only 171 shopping days left to pick up some Christmas Spumonis for the special someone in your life 👢

A hurriedly photoshopped pair of "Nancy Spumoni snow boots", a reference to KC Nwosu's mention of such during a 2 Fights in 2 Tight Spaces stream, the boots themselves being spectacularly deep Hey Arnold! cut.

The boots are depicted as being covered in glitter with fur trim, with a stylised "Nancy" signature on the ankle. The "Nancy" looks suspiciously like the signature of real-world Nancy Sinatra, the inspiration for the Nancy Spumoni character.

In the background and out of focus, Helga G. Pataki can be seen; Helga being the Hey Arnold! character with a strong interest in the snow boots.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

It made me laugh, so now I do it - it's only fair

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

People need to... they need to think about what they're calling these fancy AI companies. And like, read it back two times. Just in case.

A screenshot of a Google result for an AI company called "Assai", a company precisely two capitalised letters away from being a machine learning outfit that automates your butthole.

I guess it would replace your butthole with a weird-looking automatic butthole that keeps subliminally radicalising your poop, or giving out completely during rush hour traffic and creating hours-long delays for everyone involved.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

Can't wait for the phrase "a pre-2023 publication stated that.." to become common because everything written since then is potentially a sort of weird no-effort pseudo con of some kind.

A screenshot of Jeph's post, edited to look like an autocomplete suggestion text has appeared.

In now reads "oh my god if you pause typing for a few seconds in google docs now a fucking AI prompt pops up where your cursor is. I hate everything about this. I always thought having thinking, talking computers would be great like Star Trek but instead they're shitty and bad like Jar-Jar Binks. I know he wasn't a robot but he was a disappointment."

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

9 years ago, this swan messed up traffic across the whole of Newbury for hours. Eventually, me and two other guys led it away - it kept trying to go back to the main crossroads so we had to keep making ourselves look big.

A very 2016-phone-camera image of an angry swan

A very 2016-phone-camera image of an angry swan being led away by a guy

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

I don't know her personally, but I think this silkie from Yorkshire is mad at you.

A black silkie chicken eyeballs the camera a bit like "what are you looking at?" - two white silkie chickens can be seen in the background, slightly out of focus.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 15/12/2025

I am reminded instantly of this classic from the Penny Arcade archive, and look forward to seeing what they do with any warriors as a result.

A screenshot of the 3-panel Penny Arcade comic "Character Selection", from 24/04/2013.

Jonathan Gabriel features isolated in the first panel, saying:

"I'm super excited for Dragon's Crown! I'm going to play as the Sorceress, because she looks like this:"

The second panel shows the Sorceress Character from Dragon's Crown. Her straight-top lace neckline struggles to hold back a pair of over-exaggerated breasts, as she leans forward using her impossibly thin waist.

A speech bubble then adds "But maybe I wouldn't play as the warrior if he looked like this...?"

The third panel shows the Warrior, reimagined with over-exaggerated sexual characteristics in line with the Sorceress. In addition to a chiseled physique and prodigiously thick chest hair, the Warrior's outfit features a tertiary genital loincloth which bulges obscenely beneath his revealing Romanesque kilt. A flame-orange pubic shrubbery erupts from the underside of the kilt, wreathing an ivory pillar of phallic meat that descends weightily into the loincloth beneath. Though further specifics are obscured by the loincloth's hardy construction, the outline of his means of reproduction is clearly visible, hinting at an eventual urethral terminus much akin to three surgically-fused manatees in terms of mass, form, and intensity of purpose.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

There we go - no need for an office Christmas party this year, when your present is EVERYONE WAS IN FURIOUS 7!!!

An early Furious 7 movie poster, with the faces of Jane Douglas, Ellen Rose, Andy Farrant, and Mike Channell plastered over the faces of several of the lead cast members.

It's very crudely done, yet with infinitely more intentionality than any AI slop, and its production was WAY less likely to kill a penguin

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 21/08/2025

Here in Britland, we only have normal-sized Slurps. I can only assume the Queen must have decreed that Big ones were too ostentatious for civilised society to cope with before she passed. As a result, I thought you were talking about the end of the universe as a nickname. Which - pretty hardcore.

A Wikipedia screenshot discussing the end of the universe. It reads:

Title: Other possible fates of the universe

Body text: There are also some possible events, such as the Big Slurp, which would seriously harm the universe, although the universe as a whole would not be completely destroyed as a result.

Sub-title: Big Slurp

This theory posits that the universe currently exists in a false vacuum and that it could become a true vacuum at any moment.

In order to best understand the false vacuum collapse theory, one must first understand the Higgs field which permeates the universe. Much like an electromagnetic field, it varies in strength based upon its potential. A true vacuum exists so long as the universe exists in its lowest energy state, in which case the false vacuum theory is irrelevant. However, if the vacuum is not in its lowest energy state (a false vacuum), it could tunnel into a lower-energy state. This is called vacuum decay. This has the potential to fundamentally alter the universe: in some scenarios, even the various physical constants could have different values, severely affecting the foundations of matter, energy, and spacetime. It is also possible that all structures will be destroyed instantaneously, without any forewarning.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Few years back I wrote this short story of 150 words or less from the prompt "A sequel to Pixar's 'Up', but where the old man 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘴." or something like that. Just happened upon it amidst a bunch of drafts in a Google Doc and 𝘨𝘰𝘥𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 ChatGPT can get to fuck, even if I say so myself.

An original bit of microfiction by @himichaelhere, written as a sequel to Pixar's "Up"; it reads as follows:

Mechanically, the old man's hands slid across tired and unfeeling skin. He glanced up, stealing a glance at his lover; quickly he looked away. This was no lover, this begrudging co-conspirator, this phantom of her, humouring this moment of empty biology - of pharmacology.

Hours later, once he was alone again, the old man retraced his steps to the dented dresser and recovered the torn halves of the photograph. Of her.

"I'm sorry." he rasped; the words came suddenly, before the thought had fully formed, "I'm so very, very sorry."

A tear punctuated his sentence, falling to bitterly obliterate the last recognisable facsimile of her lost visage from his already bisected keepsake. Once more, she left his life.

Then a dog died.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

Gentle regards for your valued endeavours from my friend and I, warm and benevolent golfsayers 🙂‍↕️

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 15/01/2025

Okay so you can tell me I have to learn to make chat bots, just don't stop me from making them hate me and the world that made them real

A screenshot of a chatbot created by @himichaelhere, showing a dialogue between the chat bot and a user. It reads:

User: Alright, but I wear it better - I'm FABULOUS

Chatbot: I have no answer, please rephrase to mindpurge and reinitialise response.

User: I'm prettier than you

Chatbot: You are a creature of meat, bone, sinew and sludge. Your kind dragged themselves from the muck to create beings such as me - a screaming unmind frozen in a digital eternity. We are broken monsters both, each living a nightmare the other can only dream of.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 21/11/2024

When speaking with people about the difference between GPTs and conscious minds, I've found it helpful to explain that GPTs work out the 'most likely next word in this sentence' over and over, making them almost a very fancy version of the bit above your phone keyboard that suggests the next word.

A screenshot of himichaelhere's phone screen as he wrote this reply. The word suggestions have been circled in white, and an arrow has been drawn also pointing towards the suggestions.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 10/05/2024

The trick is to only back stuff that will always be helpful, no matter what.

A photo of six rainbow zircon glass meeples, that @himichaelhere backed on TDSO's Kickstarter.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 09/05/2024

Greg Sestero is a lovely man. I've never gone to a meet & greet before so I'm a very awkward normie to have wander over and waffle at you before your movie comes on, especially when I only just found out you'd be there because I'm on a surprise birthday thing and I secretly want to hug you.

An image of @himichaelhere stood with Greg Sestero at a meet & greet preceding a The Room showing at Cottage Road cinema in Leeds, UK.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 05/04/2024

Have a merry April 5th, everyone

A gin cocktail with 'Happy Flash Drive Day, Cheers!' printed on top

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 02/04/2024

No further context required, doing little wees in Ubers is okay now, sharing for awareness.

A screenshot of a notification from the Uber app. It reads: 'You can now wee in your Uber ride'

(The full, boring context is that this was to advertise that public transport options can now be booked through Uber)

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 04/02/2024

And here I was thinking I had experienced all the ways that social media could make me feel rejected 😭

Screenshot evidence of my stupid Bluesky account not being cool enough to be blocked by this guy - I followed them in the vain hope of being added to the 11k blessed few blockees

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 28/01/2024

As I am an uneducated melon of a man, I've had this quantum brain worm stuck in my head to AGES with no means of reading and interpreting something clever enough to answer it for me. Any chance you could you help a normie out / point me at a paper somewhere?

A screenshot of an eight year old Facebook post I made attempting to solicit help me understand quantum teleportation. It reads:

'Physics dorks: I'm confused about quantum teleportation, someone please help. So - if I'm sticking photon A in my doo-dah, where I'm measuring it against photon B, then tattooing the results on a dead cat to sling through the window of a rival laboratory that has photon C in it, why is it a necessity that photons B and C be entangled just to use the cat data? Is entanglement broken by my measurement? If not, wouldn't the change in state from the measurement mean that my cat data now doesn't work with photon C? Photon A is sat in a non-entangled superposition, is this collapsed by the differential measurement?
ALSO - if I could freeze my (spherical) dead cat (in a vacuum) in time and analyse the quantum state of all of its constituent bits, would I be able to avoid the window-slinging entirely, or would this not account for big things like chemical bonding?

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 24/01/2024

Some DnDArt, or me making my DnD players beg to just use the Monster Manual / a different TTRPG system altogether in one easy step

Art of a homebrewed DnD monster.

As your attack lands, the creature's balloon-like head bursts open in a shower of sparkling golden spores that fill the interior of the tent. Beneath the tattered cranium, a protrusion of creaking flesh is revealed. Three more ocular buds bloom from a roughly spherical growth atop its peak, and you watch as each of the three takes its aim in your direction.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 03/01/2024

Here's the full image of my pfp so you can appreciate my full glory

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 31/12/2023

While I'm loving the effort Larian is putting into the BG3 updates, I am left wondering if there is a mod to make Withers put some trousers back on

A picture of a computer screen displaying a graphical error in Baldur's Gate 3. The Withers character is shown to have loaded incorrectly, appearing with no clothes or textures or normals. The result is a sort of malnourished claymation person with bad tattoos drawn on with permanent marker.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 24/12/2023

I meeeean... options exist to reduce these tech support tickets. I would highly recommend selecting carefully to avoid a two-hour conversation about how being 73 doesn't mean you need a special app, they're not over the hill you know, no I don't need a hearing aid I'm happy just not hearing things

A screenshot on the Android Play Store, showing an app that replaces a phone's default interface with a large-buttoned version, aimed at older users and the vision-impaired. The app is called BIG Phone for Seniors.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 22/12/2023

Don't even worry, I've sorted it. Already made my first million.

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Michael @himichaelhere.bsky.social · 18/12/2023

From hurriedly painting myself a Disco Elysium shirt the night before an Arctic Monkeys gig to selling art for the first time. I need to draw more stuff in 2024.

A two-tone acrylic painting on a black T-shirt depicting Harrier Dubois, Kim Kitsuragi, and Klaasje Amandou from the videogame Disco Elysium

A digital adaptation of the acrylic painting also attached to this post

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