HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 25/08/2026At a military bunker outside Kiev an investigation is underway into what caused one soldier to press the installation's self-destruct button 2410
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Andy Burnham want to open new North Sea oil fields to lower people's energy bills, as helping accelerate climate change will negate the need for any heating at all 55913
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 10/08/2026 Thames Water apparently paid its finance chief £1m, despite public fury over its bills and pollution. The executive is called Steve Buck, so we can expect him to pass the blame on to someone else 47823
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 05/08/2026There’s growing panic in the White House as no one can remember whether it’s Donald Trump’s turn to announce massive strikes on Iran or to announce that he’s called offmassive strikes on Iran because they’re now begging for a deal. More news as we get it 1015835
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 28/07/2026The prime minister has announced that he wants the hard hat to be respected Fair enough, although it can occasionally make people appear stupid 5433
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 21/07/2026According to reports, Keir Starmer wrote hundreds of handwritten notes for every single member of No.10 staff. Have I Got News For You got exclusive access to a handful of them 2301
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 20/07/2026On this momentous day for the constitution, people are grumbling that a slightly dull man with no particular talents has been imposed on them with no chance of voting for or against him. But that’s monarchies for you 36711
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 20/07/2026Starmer makes way for Andy Burnham, saying ‘I wish him every success, he has my full support’, which was just possible to hear through the noise of gritted teeth 7345
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 17/07/2026Sadiq Khan given peerage for services to the capital. Attendance to the House of Lords will give him a daily allowance of £371, which in London just about covers his tube travel and one coffee 1513
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 17/07/2026Keir Starmer gives out resignation honours list which he said he would never issue. At least he stuck to his guns on the winter fuel payments, welfare reform, digital IDs, pub business rates, farmers’ inheritance tax, two child benefit cap… 45212
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Keir Starmer has defended his record as Prime Minister, saying ‘we did pull the levers’. Unfortunately they were the ones linked to a trap door above a £50bn black hole 1292
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 16/07/2026England lose to Argentina in the semi-finals, saving millions of English fans from four days of thinking they actually had a chance against Spain in the final 910019
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Gianni Infantino is selling chunks of the World Cup final pitch for £335 each, raising over £8 million. He’s also offering a special 2 for 1 deal on some more top quality merch 3418
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 10/07/2026Jarell Quansah has his red card ban extended to two matches. FIFA will consider an appeal, if the England defender can prove he’s either American or Argentinian or a brown envelope stuffed with cash 12454331087
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 10/07/2026Andy Burnham on track to be PM after 322 Labour MP nominations in first tally. 323 would have made it mathematically guaranteed, can’t imagine who might have withheld that extra vote 2579
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Nigel Farage starts canvassing the only Clacton locals he knows will be 100% anti-bin 715329
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Trump leaves Nato conference saying the word of the day was ‘unification’. He’s excited to go back to the States and find out what it means 3423
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Ed Sheeran performed a private gig for the England team, making the players appreciate just how lucky Jordan Henderson was to leave the squad early 58910
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Nigel Farage says that Reform UK have offered to cover the cost of the Clacton by-election. Just don’t ask questions about where the money’s coming from 811820
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026In Bristol, one stag group is very disappointed when the Jordan Pickford and Erling Haaland lookalikes they booked finally turn up 1401
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026If elected, Count Binface may face a parliamentary standards investigation after it’s revealed he often makes collections on the wrong day 524848
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Farage says Clacton by-election will be ‘people vs the establishment’. More like: 2112814
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Nigel Farage calls press conference to say ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’, in clearest sign yet that he’s almost definitely done something wron 615129
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Nigel Farage denies that he was secretly funded by convicted criminal, George Cottrell. Adding, I already have a convicted criminal who supports me thank you very much 513134
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 07/07/2026FIFA officials begin desperate search to find little known rule overturning goals for being ‘too Belgian’ 214728
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Keir Starmer says he holds no ‘personal animosity’ toward Andy Burnham, making it clear that he hates him purely in a professional sense 2744
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Nigel Farage reportedly received undeclared funding for security, drivers, staff and accommodation. Yet despite the financial help, the Reform leader seemingly still struggles to afford the travel to Clacton 38217
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026England fans across the country celebrate the fact that remote work calls can be joined without having to do a breathalyser test first 2516
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026One red card, two penalties, five goals, eleven minutes of extra time and a blood pressure too high to count. Probably beats the usual two weetabix and a shower before the working week starts 2706
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 02/07/2026According to the Telegraph, AI Data Centres can use up to 14 million litres of water a day. Although if you ask AI about it, it says ‘Yes, Bob Dylan won the World Cup in 1966' 55216
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 02/07/2026USA striker Folarin Balogun is devastated by his red card in yesterday’s game. He should’ve asked to borrow Messi’s Cloak of Invisibility 0684
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 01/07/2026The government faces tough choices if we want to keep the nation safe. For instance, do we want an upgrade to the A46 in Nottinghamshire or a couple of Patriot missiles? 3242
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 01/07/2026£5m from a crypto billionaire and £1/4m for advertising gold bullion have really helped Nigel Farage in his fight for the little guy against the establishment elites 57728
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 30/06/2026PM Keir Starmer declares an extra £15bn “to strengthen our national security”, though there’s always vulnerability to a sneaky strike from an enemy within 1251
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 25/06/2026According to the Times, astronomers have discovered ‘two giant Superpuffs orbiting around a fading star’. Some Two Ronnies gag writers are being exhumed to supply the punchline 2355
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Ed Miliband was missing from today’s PMQs, leaving a sizeable vacuum to defend his record as Prime Minister 2121
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 23/06/2026With temperatures expected to hit 37 degrees, records are tumbling all over the place, although still not for Ronaldo 1315312
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 22/06/2026After the 6th Prime Minister in 10 years leaves office, moves are afoot to fund the construction of a permanent lectern in Downing Street 76613
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026The Red Cross has advised people who want to remain cool in a heatwave to turn off their central heating. They’ve also advised against sawing your own leg off if you don’t want to fall over, and not lying down in front of a double-decker bus if you don’t want to die 2437
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026After ITV World Cup analyst Emma Hayes gets her own personalised set, A BBC pundit gets something similar 3353
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 17/06/2026President Trump says the deal with Iran is not yet finalised, so there’s still a chance that he’ll make even more concessions to them by Friday 57613
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 17/06/2026A former Russian state tv journalist has revealed that news staff present Putin with an edited version of the news with all the negative stories about him taken out. Keir Starmer gets something similar 24214
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 16/06/2026Apple are unhappy about being forced to verify the ages of UK children using their smartphones, which must take them back to the time when they had to verify the ages of Chinese children making their smartphones 08117
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 15/06/2026US and Iran declare an “immediate and permanent” end to the war, although experience tells us a more appropriate term is “hydration break” 48211
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 11/06/2026Defence Secretary John Healey has resigned over military spending plans, either that or master has presented him clothes and he's now free 1443
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 08/06/2026Silicon Valley companies have 'embraced MAGA politics due to self-interest', according to Nick Clegg, Meta's former head of Global Affairs and current Global Lead in stating the bloody obvious 1598
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 03/06/2026Nigel Farage's work over the last 11 weeks broken down: - Parliamentary votes registered (including on immigration): 0 - Violent racial divisions stoked: 1 418665
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 02/06/2026Downing Street has admitted Keir Starmer uses 'disappearing messages', a system he first tested out on Labour's election manifesto 1389
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Richard Madeley has revealed he was given just 15 minutes to film inside an El Salvador mega jail, due to strict international laws on being kept in a confined space with Richard Madeley 26412
HIGNFY @hignfy.bsky.social · 19/05/2026The government has defended redacting the Mandelson files to 'avoid the security vetting system breaking down", because it's all been working so well until now 2358