Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Children will say anything. "I can't sleep in my bed, I don't know how" Bitch, 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 11/09/2025Woke college bullet DESTROYS Charlie Kirk 010
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 30/05/2025Naming my son first name: Roger middle name: That so he kills me in 12 years 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 26/05/2025Gonna pierce my nose so I can blow snot on people 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 25/05/2025Posting photos of me and the launch controls as part of my soft launch of my nuclear strike 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 20/05/2025Car salesmen rock "Oh shit this guy is trying to be polite time to pressure him. I know you're looking for information but it would be a lot easier if I could just soft sell you instead" 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 04/05/2025My dick and ass are those neighbors who never talk but always cause each other issues 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 26/04/2025Shedeur Sanders mustve spent his interviews talking about rawdogging when asked about his performance with adequate protection 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 21/04/2025Imagine having to go to White House meetings today and act surprised that the alcoholic cable news commentator didn't work out 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 06/04/2025I love whenever my infant wears something with pockets. Imagining him rifling around for his keys and then dangling them in front of his face 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 04/04/2025I want to be the defense attorney on SVU so bad "You say you were raped, but how could my client fit his giant hog in your tiny cooch? Need I remind you your under oath?" 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 31/03/2025The groyper teens are showing Trump videos of the Frito Bandito. Needless to say he's horrified 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 30/03/2025Can't wait to be 80 and working in the Apple™ Salt Mines and see Rep Jaxsuhn Johnson (D-MA) say that the last 2 Dem congressman need to moderate away from banning private executions 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 21/03/2025They released that episode of Paw Patrol where the pups help the CIA stop the president from shattering the agency into a thousand pieces 010
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 12/03/2025I wonder if Mormons are going to ask people to stop appropriating their culture re: naming kids shit like Braeklee 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 10/03/2025If Trump has a heart attack while Twitter is down, we know Satan is real 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 27/01/2025Teaching my son to say "oh banana" the same way that DK64 does when a golden banana is revealed got a couple good ones so far 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 05/01/2025Not working whips ass there's something seriously wrong with the boomers who refuse to retire 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 02/01/2025This man spends all this money and energy on defeating aging and he's going to die when someone gets too tired of reading him constantly talk about it 010
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 24/12/2024“I’m as much a Gladiator II,” said Pedro Pascal, “as much as I’m a SADiator II” as he applies Joker makeup and runs into the flooded Colosseum 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 24/12/2024And the meeses, Who did NOT get cheeses, 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 22/12/2024Hey man do you need anything I’m going to go to the grocery and park my cart in the middle of the aisle so I can stand next to it and scoff when people try to squeeze by 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 21/12/2024I guess the only benefit of a 2 party system is there’s no Alternative for America for Musk to have given a billion dollars (Will probably need to delete this in the future) 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 18/12/2024Blaming choosing Tim Walz as VP candidate for losing is weird because no one did that with Tim Kaine: the moist, smelly dish sponge from Virginia 010
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 14/12/2024You’n suck y’all, president of Korea 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Horton hears a Grinch and commits larceny! 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 27/11/2024The chill guy meme is great comedy because there’s no one more heated than someone going to lengths to describe how chill they are 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 25/11/2024Honestly? Keeping that many monkeys at that many typewriters would be much more impressive than any piece of fiction 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 24/11/2024Real shame that experimenting on humans is so cruel because I really want to see what someone who was only allowed to listen to JPEGMAFIA would be like when when introduced to anything else 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 20/11/2024Well, Mrs. Dumpty, would it make it any better if I said it was the KING’S horses that were trying to put him back together 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 19/11/2024Stephen Colbert, I’m a traveler from the future. I’ve come from November 2024 to tell you that the skibidi Biden video will move the nation and if you play it every night he’ll definitely win re-election 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 28/10/2024Kid is almost 2 and I’m thinking about all the people I played WOW with back in the day with kids. Def don’t know how someone could just sit and play a video game for 5 hours nonstop with a small child in their care 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 20/09/2024Imagine listening to RFKj’s voice talking about how Bluetooth causes IBD and just getting horned up past ethical limitations journos are truly different 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 03/05/2024Mitt Money seeing titties for the first time: “Golly. Fan-tastic.” 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 22/02/2024Arrest and prosecute the girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 23/01/2024Naming my kids toy dinosaur “Thesaurus King” 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 16/01/2024Bad omen for your health when your surgeon is an English actor doing an American accent 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 11/01/2024I honestly hope a legitimate cult forms around Trump so the Graydon Carter tweet ends up in a holy text where it belongs 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 09/01/2024Rocks that the surgeon general of Florida is still trying to be an anti-vax guy. It’s like seeing a guy that’s really into disco or still talking about Russian collusion 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 09/01/2024Getting banned from Twitter for posting hog for “woke” reasons, instead of prevent ones 000
Hey There, Dilaudid @heytheredilaudid.bsky.social · 09/01/2024Watching that episode of Bluey where they steal the only human characters baby and eat it glad it’s educational for parents too 020
