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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

Oh look it's everybody in Dalton, Georgia. That's all of them.

Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

Students are still split on whether or not Anse purposely killed Addie and I told them that is one of the most important questions a reader should have in As I Lay Dying.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

KFC is switching to Coca-Cola meanwhile why is KFC still in business?

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

Students got to Addie Bundren's death chapter in As I Lay Dying after which one of them said "hey wait Addie Bundren has not even had a chapter yet where she speaks." "Now you're starting to get the Faulkner magic", I told all of them, then we kept reading.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

I had so many student messengers enter my classroom today I told one of them it was like a Shakespeare play but much less interesting. Nobody laughed at that but I thought it was funny alone.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

Can I read out loud for As I Lay Dying's Vardaman next week?, one student asked today with excitement. Absolutely you can!, I said with excitement! Vardaman is one of the best characters in all American literature!

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

I had to draw a picture today of Dr. Peabody's body being pulled up a hill on a plowline to get to the Bundren's house in As I Lay Dying. The students enjoyed that drawing quite a bit. Who wouldn't?

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

I do not skip the Robert Walton letters at the beginning of Frankenstein. In fact, 55 teenagers got to hear me read them all out loud today. I think they wanted me to stop talking, but that was not going to happen.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 11h

He will not even need a Press Secretary in 18 days. This motherfucker is toast.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 12h

18 days until my Tesla Mountain Dew party. Essentially what is going to happen that day is I am going to pretend to trip in parking lots where Telsa's are parked and spill entire bottles of Mountain Dews all over people's Tesla's.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Whatever happens when Democrats take control of Congress better be real close to Sherman burning plantations, real close to that.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Man I cannot wait until Steve Bannon shoots himself in the head in his own backyard.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

I am ready to laugh at so many Republican faces in public they will think they are on a fucking tv show.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

In 19 days America is going to send some Crackers back to their Cracker factory towns.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

19 days before all you Christian Republicans can go blame your God and fuck off forever.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Remember when the Republican Party was so boring you would change your birthday bash locations just to avoid running into a Republican there? Yeah, well, nothing has changed. 19 days to go you Republican boring assholes.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Enjoy your last 19 days Republican Party. You are done forever.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Republicans are all about credentials aren't they -- until their own Press Secretary has none then they are like, well, but... Republicans have 19 days left to live.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

The reason for the existence of the Bar Exam is until you pass it you are not a lawyer. That is why it exists. You fucking idiots.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Even The Firm made Tom Cruise take the fucking Bar Exam before he started committing crimes for The Firm.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Just a reminder to everybody in this fucking nation if you have a JD but you have not passed the Bar Exam, you are NOT a lawyer.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

What the fuck is going on in this country?

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

How about Kelly Clarkson pays me $15,000 and I will just go over her house dressed like a bird and act like a bird all day.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

<---not a lawyer but apparently anybody can be a lawyer now. Everybody can be a lawyer!!

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Vardaman Bundren is a genius child.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Some moments in life appear time-wise to be harmonious -- very much in parallel feelings. And maybe the moments that do not feel like that are for other people to feel those and not me. That is basically my philosophy of life at this point in it.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Most students who give me completely rude attitudes end up actually coming to me to weep about their personal lives a few weeks later. That is what is known as steady progress.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Cash Bundren's completion of Addie Bundren's coffin the near instant Addie dies is what is known in life as realistic.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Every state is going to sue each other in 2027. I am currently in Virginia and I would like to sue Missouri first. I remember them all floating in crowded inner tubes at water park rides during Covid. I still remember that.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Anse Bundren's stupidity in As I Lay Dying is one of the reasons we are where we are in 2026 America. Obese Dr. Peabody hates him so much too.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Instead of a 4 film Beatles biopic how about baby boomers just die.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

Every human is going to be dead then Sony will release the 4 movie Beatles biopic for insects to enjoy.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 15/10/2026

AI-text-to-talk still cannot read Dewey Dell chapters from As I Lay Dying at all.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Trying to explain religious innocence from 1928's As I Lay Dying to 2026 teenagers is not impossible, but is also not possible.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Speaking of Darl from As I Lay Dying using the night breezes to get himself off, goodnight everybody.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Every junior and senior in Virginia took the military ASVAB test today and while I proctored that I was pissed off about it and so were the students.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

America is so fucked up right now that whatever art comes out of this period of time is going to seem lame and that seriously sucks for all my friends.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Students also thought it was strange that Darl from As I Lay Dying was using the night wind to get himself off and I had to remind everybody everybody was doing that in 1928.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

My actual thought about Lafe and Dewey Dell's sex life in As I Lay Dying is neither one of them knew they were having sex while they were having it.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

There may eventually be some kind of delicious sauce that kills us all.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Whether or not Lafe raped Dewey Dell in As I Lay Dying was a hot topic of conversation today in class. Students were divided about it. What do you think, Mr. Hecker, they asked. What I think about it does not matter, I said. You are just going to have to ask Dewey Dell yourself during novel reading.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

I am trying to think of any historical equivalents (other than Ancient Rome) to the US abandoning Ukraine and concurrently doing business with its invader.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Student kept calling Darl from As I Lay Dying Daryl today and I just let it go--just for today though.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Anse Bundren's hatred of roads in America is one of the most interesting passages in the entire novel.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

We are about to find out how many Republicans are from Ukraine and live in the United States.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Putin has so many sex crime photos of the U.S. President he could destroy MAGA by launching an Instagram account and never have to launch a single nuke.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

One big difference between Lebron James and Michael Jordan is Michael Jordan would never do a podcast with Steve Nash about the 2026/2027 NBA season preview before during or after playing in the NBA but definitely not during

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Better use something more than inflation to win these midterms. Will take more than inflation you idiots.

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Jeffrey Hecker @heckheck03.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

You know how a lot of smart adult authors become children's book authors? I get why they do that but I also do not understand it.

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