iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

Someone on FB: What can I eat that has no fat, no carbs and no protein? Me: Ass

Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

Sylvia Plat said, "Opinions are like orgasms...mine matters most and I really don't care if you have one." I would say, "Opinions are like orgasms...mine matters most and depending on how much I like you, yours might matter, too." 🤣

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

"Mixed-method analysis revealed that women who indicated to use of masturbation for coping or self-care or who reported negative feelings did not differ in their level of psychological distress from women who did not report using it. (cont.) (1/2)

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Exploring the Role of Masturbation as a Coping Strategy in Women - PubMed

Results showed the complexity of how psychological distress is related to sexual activity and point to the potential benefits of masturbation for dealing with psychological distress and for enhancing ...

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

Got a new phrase for ya! rebooty call /ˌrēˈbo͞odē kôl/ noun the contact made when a person, out of fresh dating prospects, suddenly recalls your existence and attempts to gaslight both of you into believing they never stopped being interested; may be via call, text, email, kik, etc. (1/2)

Image has the definition and a picture of a hand with vitiligo holding a phone with a woman coming out if it, saying "Hey stranger, it's been a while..."

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

When people YELL loudly who they are over and over, you gotta take them at their word at some point.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

New word, inspired by a conversation two nights ago. romagination /rōˌmajəˈnāSH(ə)n/ when one person’s “this is just how I date” smashes into the other’s “this is how I show deep commitment.” No one’s technically wrong, but someone’s definitely catching feelings they didn’t sign up for. (1/3)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

Working on a new word today. No art yet. egoshock /ˈēɡōSHäk/ noun The unholy cocktail of indignation and bewilderment served up when someone you were absolutely not into dares to reject you first. see also, "but why though?" (1/3)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

It's official! I'm a licensed unicorn hunter! 🤣 Ahem..quester.

Official Lake Superior State University Unicorn Questing License.

Know ye by these presents
that this license,
good jor a lifetime & beyond,
except Valentine's Day,
nontransferable, nonnegotiable
(once a member, always a member),
is herewith issued to
Heather Claus
who has been examined on the regulations of unicorn questing
& been deemed to be exceedingly qualified to hunt unicorns,
& is, therefore, entitled to do so, both on Planet Earth & elsewhere,
per specifications, rules, & misinterpretations of the enclosed guidelines.
Banded unicorns should be reported
to the game warden
of the Department of Natural Unicorns
at Lake Superior State University.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

From a live chat today. One of the attendees quoted this back to me, so I'm sharing. Remember: Whatever you have done to survive, it takes a new skillset to thrive, and SOMETIMES it's exactly the opposite.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 22/01/2025

Fill in the blank! I swear, I am just ONE [fill-in-the-blank] away from swearing off dating forever! Example: I swear, I am just ONE "wyd?" away from swearing off dating forever! 🤣 🤣 🤣 It's snowy here in NC. Let's have some fuuuuuun!

Image shows a middle-aged woman praying fervently, "“Grant me the serenity to block the people I cannot date, the courage to hold boundaries with those I can, and the wisdom to know that correcting grammar is wasted effort."

Overlay text says "You’re just ONE “wyd?” away from swearing off dating forever. This time, try being more SELF-ish."

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Not my word or concept, but... Have y'all heard of labor digging? When rather than dating for love or money, the dating is for labor. Including, but not limited to: - Housework - Cooking - Childcare - Emotional You know, all those pesky things needed to keep a convenient life convenient. (1/3)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Have you heard, "You teach people how to treat you?" You probably have. I don't agree with that. I believe that people are going to treat you however THEY want. You have the power to teach what you will and will not accept. Which is where the concept of ruinous empathy comes in. (1/7)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Haven't been posting much. Have been doing art. Number 37 and counting in this series I've titled "The Whimsically Illustrated & Annotated Dictionary of the Utterly Ridiculous Things We Do for Love." *smiles*

Love Junking, verb
The compulsive pursuit of romantic relationships with all the discernment of a raccoon raiding a dumpster. Often characterized by the steadfast belief that this toxic situation will somehow be different.

“My friends created a love junking bingo card for my dating life, with squares like ‘they’re just misunderstood’ and ‘but they texted me good morning once’ - I hit blackout in record time.”

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

Ugh! 💩 like this just pisses me off. It’s the other side of “be more submissive” messaging sent to women, to create the full trap of “can’t win,” and they are trying to say that it’s women creating the trap for men. (1/3)

Text that reads: A Short List Of How To Keep
Your Wife Happy
Take out the trash
Do the dishes
Rub her back
Vacuum the house
Never sit to relax
Read her mind
Always be wrong
Never question her
Ask her what she wants to eat
Ask her what's wrong
Don't ask her what's wrong
Ask her it she needs help
Don't ask her if she needs help
Assume she has a headache
Never tell her to calm down
Let her pick the movie
Give her space
Don't give her space

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

A new work that made me laugh this morning. Wanna play along and use 'nexit' in a sentence? Here's another: When I caught myself explaining basic human decency for the 3rd time, I hit the nexit button—I’m not running a seminar on empathy; I’m just trying to enjoy a cuppa tea and get boned.

/ˈneɡzət/
noun
The unapologetic ghosting, drifting, or door-slamming departure from any romantic situation that isn't a passionate "F*ck Yeah!"

When Jean asked if I’d ever tried pineapple on pizza I knew it was time for a nexit—some culinary choices are just dealbreakers.

Shows a masculine figure running away through a door in a ham and pineapple pizza.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

Can I tell you something that no one likes to talk about? Some of the BEST people at getting love...are the worst people. Well, those who are the most natural, anyway. An essay. (1/7)

A collage of a hand holding an eye. It's raining underneath, as if crying.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

Took time offline this past weekend. Feels good. Now, what sort of trouble were people scaring up while I was getting railed, eating delicious food, and reading cotton-candy fluff books? *smiles*

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

Thanksgiving today is me and my sweetie. I started with biscuits and gravy. He’ll be making shrimp and grits later. And we may put together our new toy: a laser engraving machine.

A black plate with a biscuit cut in half and covered in sausage gravy.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

LOL! We all do it. Well, many of us do. Especially the creatives and the romantics. Admit it. I know it's cringe. The problem isn't that we do it. It's that we sometimes INVEST in it and believe in it...which is kinda like believing Rambo is real. Or pr0n. (1 of 6)

Words:
Prelationshipping
/prəˈlāSHənˌSHipiNG/
noun
Mentally skipping over the getting-to-know-you phase and fast-forwarding to a shared mortgage and proposal before you’ve even exchanged last names.

Tori told herself she wouldn’t prelationship this time… yet somehow, I’m already wondering if their hypothetical kids would prefer soccer or ballet.

--

Image shows a young femme person with a laptop holding a cup of coffee and staring into space. Soap bubbles with romantic fantasies float around her head in a blue sky.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

LOVE the vibe! I was JUST this morning thinking about a concept like Stomachfix to do with the art I'm working on. Is the origin of that trackable? (Happy to do the googling, too!)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

And 100% of the money is almost immediately circulated again. It’s a win-win-win.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Often happens after a breakup, but sometimes your true self comes roaring back while you're still in the relationship(s), leaving you wondering why you ever thought dimming your light was a good idea. For the record, dimming your light to make a relationship work is NEVER a good idea. ❤️

The words say:

/T͟Hə, tro͞oTH(ə)niNG/
noun
a personal epiphany characterized by the simultaneous emotions of liberation, mild embarrassment, and the urge to high-five your former self for finally showing up.

The Truthening reminded Roderick that he had a personality outside of being Jackson’s emotional support appliance.

The image is of a masculine person in a crazy fedora in a victory stance with a phone as a body. Lightning is striking.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

Another in the series I've been working on. Something about this art is driving me. I've already mentioned that I love words, and I'm passionate bout love, sex, and relationships. I enjoy being silly and creative. But it could also be the is the most fun I've had avoiding reality in a while.

The words:
Justafiction
/jəstəˌ ˈfikSHən/
noun
A highly inventive rewrite of reality designed to make someone else’s actions less hurtful and your denial more comfortable.

"When my friends asked why I stayed, I would perform an Oscar-worthy justifiction monologue about his ‘potential.’"

The images is a BIPOC woman with a microphone and a halo of flowers. Hands are covering her eyes, while open eyes are painted on those hands. She has a sequined top with a heart where her heart would be. That heart has bandaids on it.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

THIS. I took a break this weekend, and although I am overall a positive person, seeing the news in my feed just makes me want to shut down and engage in coping mechanisms. UGH.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

Been working on this new series. I feel like I'm hitting my stride. Not only it is art and fun to make, but it's words and language and poking fun at the ridiculous things we do for love. I'm hitting all my sweet spots.

Romcomfusion
/ˈˈrämˌkäm 'fyooZH(ə)n/
noun
The mistaken belief that cinematic tropes, such as love at first sight, stalking, and dramatic third-act reconciliations are the the pillars of a healthy partnership.

He had a terminal case of romcomfusion thanks to years of Hollywood conditioning.

A dapper masculine person with an old time move projector for a head is high-stepping it gleefully with a big much of flowers in one hand, giving the impression they are sure that everything will be made right with a bouquet.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 21/11/2024

I never think of my art/writing/creation as work, even if it is what I sell. The work for me is the marketing, the admin, the fortifying myself against rejection…

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

Getting to know you: 5 things you could speak about for 30min with no prep. 1. Boundaries (especially in relationships) 2. Booty Sex 3. Flat Pattern Design 4. Dating 5. Communication And probably 101 other completely disparate topics. 🤣

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

This is beautiful. It doesn’t actually represent introversion versus extroversion. It’s about how you gain your energy. Extroverts get energy from people. They enjoy interacting with the outside world, including strangers, and meeting new people in large groups (1/2)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

Unless that's your thing. No kinkshaming here.

A simple white sign on a green wall that says:

REFUSE

TO BE STORED IN BLACK PLASTIC SACKS AND PLACED IN THE CONTAINERS PROVIDED

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 20/11/2024

Started a new creative series. Relationship words we can all relate to (or at least recognize)... I've definitely been known to give myself (and many other people living rent-free in my head) a good talking-to while I bask in the molten lava I call a shower.

Showversation. Rehearsing imaginary arguments in the shower with people who hurt you.

Includes a collage image of a woman with her face in her hands in the shower.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Guess who still hadn't peed? 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

This reminded me that I have to pee...LOL!

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

I was also diagnosed late! At 49. I bet I'll recognize... Hey! Where's the rest? 🤣 Seriously, though, my particular flavor of ADHD almost always has me responding to one very specific thing, and forgetting everything else mentioned or even how to human in reply. 🙄

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

YES! I'd add to this, don't just read it. PERFORM it. When you act it out, and use inflection like you want people to read it, you'll find where it stutters, where it's totally awk, and you'll catch more typos!

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Ooooh! I love this. Thriving out of spite. Because so many of us are socialized out of doing things for ourselves, to only do things for others. But outta spite, well, that's hardwired into each of us, innit? *grins*

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Happy International Men's Day! Is there a calendar? I'm all in favor of celebrating the achievements of hot men in wet t-shirts. #stolenbecauseitsfunny

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

TIL "Munch," which has multiple meanings. Knew this one: A vanilla social gathering of kinksters at a restaurant. Learned these: A sexual partner who solely performs oral sex and doesn't penetrate. A hater. Also checked out the song I had totally missed on account of being an old. LOL!

youtube.com

Ice Spice - Munch (Feelin’ U) (Official Music Video)

YouTube video by WORLDSTARHIPHOP

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Don’t you just love how red pill/blue pill is just reinterpretation of black and white thinking by incels? • Men vs Women • Dominance vs Submission • Alpha vs Beta (vs Omega) • High Value vs Low Value • Peacocking vs Banality • Challenge vs Pushover

An image with the words 'Red Pill or Blue Pill" then a red pil and a blue pill.

Then, it says "No Thank You." and shows a full-spectrum/rainbow pill. The final words are, "My worlds is more fun in full color."

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

My partner and I traveled to Austin for a wedding two weeks ago. During that trip he learned for the first time in over 11 years that my most fervent fantasy when I was young was to have a bat for a pet. He now sends me squee-worthy bat content like this: www.instagram.com/reel/DCY6ikQ... 💜

instagram.com

Welcome back to Instagram. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

WIP representing how even when we reach for a hand up, our deeply rooted beliefs keep us in place.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

Perfectionism is often considered a mistake, something that once logically explained, can then be put away. For some of us (never quite like the others) perfectionism is a refuge. It is easier to fret over a comma, dash, or an ellipses, rather than suffer the scrutiny of our complete creation.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

Oh. This is brilliant. Definitely gonna peruse. I'm 100% pro-block on this platform.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

I'm not great at talking about myself to sell. But someone in the Cult of Copy FB group just said: "They want to be told, and you like to tell. Why make this complicated?" Which, I think it what I loved so much about OG Twitter, and what I'm enjoying about BS. (1/2)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

One of the most powerful tools I teach to reduce people-pleasing in relationships is exactly this: "Do not obey in advance," or as I state it in my books: WAIT. Wait for them to ask. If you wait for the request, you will reduce your people-pleasing by at LEAST 50% immediately.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

I'm working on a new book, Reject Me, Baby! How and why to get rejected more often for dating & relationship success. As someone with ADHD and RSD, I've struggled with feelings of super-rejection, and being me, I wanted to know WHY this happens. So, of course, I rabbit-holed. (1/6)

An infographic. The words are:

We Evolved to Hate and Fear Rejection

Individuals who managed to fit in and avoid rejection stood a better chance of survival in a world filled with dangers.

Not fitting in meant losing access to:

- Safety from predators
- Protection from harsh weather
- Shared access to food
- Group defense
- Teamwork for everyday tasks
- Support during tough times
- Better opportunities for reproduction
- Collaborations on challenges to survival

All of these things are still true today.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

It's funny, I do this with my writing much more than with my art, so here goes. This is about how we build a home of our hurt and traumas. We carry them with us and live inside of them, use them for shelter, believing they protect us and that we cannot live without their burden.

A sketch of a woman as a snail, where the shell is in the shape of a skull. A few screaming faces are roughly sketched in.

A sketch of a woman as a snail, where the shell is in the shape of a skull. The woman is fully drawn/inked in and one screaming face has been detailed in the shell.

A sketch of a woman as a snail, where the shell is in the shape of a skull. The woman is fully drawn/inked in and about 2/2 of the skull is also detailed with many screaming faces making up the shape of the skull.

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

As I tuck myself into bed tonight, I feel a need to post that BlueSky so far reminds me of everything I loved about Twitter circa 2008. ❤️

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

As a different perspective, I want authors who feel confident heartily recommending their own work when people ask. I want the people I engage with to be 100% passionate and invested in their work and spreading the word. (I also strive to be that person.)

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Heather aka Nookie @heather-aka-nookie.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

I got a preventative double-mastectomy with reconstruction, so I didn't make this same choice. That said, I support those who do, and may choose this for myself in the future. Who knows? Let's normalize people (including non-men) making the right health choices for themselves. 💜

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