George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026The Jerk Store called yeah they said that their business model is fundamentally flawed 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I was at the store and saw that hiking shorts are 300$ now and I just have to say that I'm really disappointed in you guys 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 27/09/2026This was amazing, I'm amazing! Thanks so much to @jfltoronto and @justforlaughs There's lots more great shows here toronto.hahaha.com 011
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 16/09/2026HEY EVERYBODY come to this! comedybar.ca/shows/JFL-Li... I'm on it and I'm super hot and funny There's tons more info and amazing shows here toronto.hahaha.com And thanks so much to @jfltoronto and @justforlaughs 😍😭😍 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 04/09/2026"I'm just getting up to go to the bathroom, don't pause it." -me yelling to the ball players on the field 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 28/08/2026The next time I see you I'm gonna give you the warmest regards 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 25/08/2026So work is making me do another piss test Which is weird because I never even went to piss school 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Calling it PFK instead of KFC is definitely wack but I dunno about blowing up the economy over it 011
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Hey just a quick heads up As soon as I figure out your weaknesses I will exploit them for my own profit or entertainment Aside from that have a great day 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026If I had a single loose acorn in my pocket i would retire and live off the interest 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026If I lived near an Arby's I'd be completely fucked (Like more than already) 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026How much money do you have What's your adress 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026I have a note from my doctor that says I can have some of your fries 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Hey whoever invented bills, thanks a lot DICKWEED!! 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Got my Rogers bill the other day... Feels like I'm gettin rogered! 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 22/08/2026What if we kissed under the "Shut Up George Burgess You Are Bald And Unfunny" sign? 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Man I could french some fries am I right? 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 21/08/2026One difficult stereotype that I've struggled with on more than one occasion is any stereo that doesn't have a Barenaked Ladies record in it! That type of stereo. amiright?? 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Just popped down to check something in my basement and if any of you are missing a teeming horde of aggressive earwigs then I have wonderful news 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Honestly, at the end of the day, no matter how you cut it, Four-wall sales growth *is* our north star 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Laundry is piling up Gonna do a triple load Then maybe start that laundry 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 21/08/2026So I got my Rogers bill the other day Oh man I gotta stop buying so many guys named Roger! 011
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Give all of your money to me This *is* financial advice 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 17/08/2026I actually went to comedy school. I'm not funnier but now I can read sheet comedy 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 16/08/2026You telling me a shrimp smashed this burger 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 15/08/2026I like to lay low after pulling a job (foot long Cold Cut Combo with everything) 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Oh man did I ever tell you about my clumsy vegan friend? She's such a margarine fingers! 020
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Don't put all your eggs in one basket Put em in the fridge jackass 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Really feeling the burn* after my workout** (*garlic) (**eating my quite garlic-forward homemade tzatziki) 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 06/08/2026It would actually be "Boo *whom*." -me correcting my dumb baby 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 14/06/2026ITS MY BIRTHDAY I'M GETTING MCDONALDS SEND NUDES!!! 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 23/05/2026Come to this! In Hamilton! Monday! I'm on it and I'm super hot and funny 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Hey everybody come see me on this I'm super hot and funny comedybar.ca/shows/just-f... 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 04/08/2025My friend said "Ignorance is bliss" Honestly I feel like I was better off not knowing that 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 04/08/2025“I have literally never been spoken to so rudely in my entire life. You’re *lucky* I’m on parole you piece of shit.” -Me to my parole officer 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 03/08/2025Just finished The Berenstain Bears and frankly I found it juvenile and ursine 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 01/08/2025My friend from Barrie said he might move to Orangeville... Honestly, is this a province or a FRUIT SALAD?? 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 30/07/2025The captain or whatever just said on the intercom that we're leaving late so we're going to "try to make up time in the air"... Which is weird because I'm on a bus! 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 30/07/2025Thinking of growing out my weenis this year 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 28/07/2025Just knocked out a security guard and put on his uniform. Might have something big to announce soon... 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 19/07/2025I’m a comic, why do I get invites to go watch terrible comedy shows? I’m supposed to be *on* those!! 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Hey email inviting me (a comic) to go watch a mediocre comedy show: No, I’m not ready for an “epic lineup”. 010
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 15/07/2025As soon as I get a ceremonial key to the city for being such a good citizen and all around person: It's over for all you you-know-whats! 100
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Scoot McNairy was my generation's Skeet Ulrich 000
George Burgess @gorgeousburgess.bsky.social · 09/07/2025I feel that my wife purchases too many hats. 010
