Sign in

GOP Jesus

@gopjesus.bsky.social
10K followers 395 following 4.5K posts

A parody account for the GOP’s interpretation of Jesus’s will and teachings. Half parody, half commentary, half theories. linktr.ee/gopjesus

PostsRepliesMedia
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
MAGA Fact #1 Every election won by Democrats was stolen by murdering trans illegal immigrants snuck over the border by Obuma and Biden to commit election fraud.
041
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Top 1% of election twitter and Elon graciously gives my organic posts 168 views each! X puts the “social” back in his “media” and the trillion in Musk’s pockets.
020
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
All I could see at first were raw chicken drumsticks.
121
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Why do Republicans hate wonen so much and why do they keep trying to kill them? apnews.com/article/abor...
apnews.com
Court restricts abortion access across the US by blocking the mailing of mifepristone
A federal appeals court has restricted access to one of the most common means of abortion in the U.S. by blocking the mailing of mifepristone.
081
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
That is the hometown of the president who formerly held the title of Most Corrupt of All Time, Tricky Dick Nixon. Blue Wave is coming for MAGA
060
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Wait, this is confusing, President Trump said the war was over. bsky.app/profile/gopj...
031
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
BREAKING: Trump’s Tremendous “Victory” over Iran Gives Ayatollah Massively More Power And Control Over Strait Of Hormuz “LOL, thank you to Sheytân-e Bozorg Trump for yielding the Strait and the world’s oil supply to GLORIOUS IRAN! “VICTORY IS OURS!” - Seyyed Mojtaba Khamenei Supreme Ruler of Iran
040
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
This is what Trump and Musk and MAGA “culture” have done to our once-great country. Divide and poison and destroy and steal everything for themselves. No cost is too high for them. Hope you’re okay, buddy.
020
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
It is going to happen.
000
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
Lol this racist replied to a slew of my posts in rapid succession and then blocked me. The alfalfa male energy really sums up MAGA BRAVE!
050
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
After the Blue Waves of 2026 and 2028, MAGA will never steal another election and all un-American MAGA judges will be impeached and removed from the federal courts (starting w/ the SCROTUS-6). Thank you for your attention to this very important matter. -GOPJ
031
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Cool, cool bsky.app/profile/gopj...
051
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
President Trump’s Library design was unveiled today! It is TRULY TREMENDOUS as befitting the G.O.A.T.!
073
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Thanks President Biden!
071
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
💯"There are more Trump allies in the Epstein files than there are undocumented immigrants who voted over the last 25 years. They can't provide an example, because the SAVE Act isn't a voter fraud bill, it’s a voter suppression and Epstein distraction bill."💯 Melanie D'Arrigo Campaign for NY Health
033
Reposted by GOP Jesus
Jen Taub @jentaub.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Thank God, Congress isn’t alive to see this
28997216
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
President Putin thanks President Trump for his service.
031
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
My dorm had about 50 residents. Two of us were republicans so I used to joke that it was 4% GOP. Oddly though, I won a writing contest sponsored by my GOP Rep in high school. My topic: advocating for gun control after Ronald Reagan was shot. Times have changed.
160
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
I was a Republican until my early 20s when I woke up and realized that republicans entire premise was corporate greed and fucking over the people.
191
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Trump knows MAGA can’t win without cheating.
000
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
President Trump will go down in history as Netanyahu’s idiot stooge who started a war of choice in the Mideast and slaughtered 168 schoolgirls with a cruise missile on the very first day. And then lied to us and refused to take responsibility. Has Trump made America great yet?
0134
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
Trump pardoned Andrew Johnson, a MAGA thug who rioted at the Capitol on J6. Johnson was just sentenced to life in prison for molesting kids and for child pornography. Why do MAGAs vote for children to be molested? It’s sick. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
0104
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
“Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DJT” 3/3
020
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
“No one’s ever had as much power, such great military war power as I have but I have it and I’m doing it. Sleepy Joe Biden wouldn’t do it and Obama’s an ape so he doesn’t have those, whadda you call them, the opposite fingers. So he couldn’t push the buttons, not like we can.” 2/3
120
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
“They tell me it’s worth a few dead Americans if I get to watch the videos on the TREMENDOUS TVs I have in my M-a-L bedroom! So much definition, you can see the whites of their very bad Iranian eyes which by the way is the only part of them that’s really white, did you know that? It’s true.” 1/3🧵
132
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Thank GOP God Kamala wasn’t elected or America would be all war all the time now!
130
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Interesting
4167
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
With Donald Trump it’s all Epstein all the time. bsky.app/profile/gopj...
0126
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Tremendous!
010
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
🎯It’s always about Epstein or $.
010
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Yikes, is Bluesky getting overwhelmed with traffic because of Trump’s Peaceful War with Iran? Posts aren’t loading…
050
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
I love how great President Trump is at obliterating things like Iran’s nuclear capabilities that he already obliterated just a few months ago.
0100
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
“Two wrongs don’t make a right.” - My Dad bsky.app/profile/gopj...
120
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Like, no. Not at all. Get out your dictionary, I dare you, nay, I say I DOUBLE-DARE you! bsky.app/profile/gopj...
010
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
MAGA PRIORITIES bsky.app/profile/gopj...
062
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
MAGA priorities bsky.app/profile/gopj...
0209
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Yep No commercial planes flying anymore in Iran/Iraq/Pakistan/Afghanistan just like there are no doctors or hospitals anymore in rural AMERICA. bsky.app/profile/gopj...
062
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Right. Priorities, bro! bsky.app/profile/gopj...
1172
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Tomahawks crossing Iraq en route to Iran. I counted 21 cruise missiles. At $2,000,000 each, that’s over $42 million wasted in 30 seconds. How many doctor’s visits would $42m cover for rural Americans whose hospitals closed because Trump and the GOP killed Medicaid? “Peace President” my ass.
04216
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
“It depends on what your meaning of ‘peace’ is.” -Donald J Trump Peace President
140
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Wait, I thought Trump wiped out Iran’s uranium enrichment capabilities just a couple months ago. It’s really hard to keep all the lies straight.
3834
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Florida Republicans' response to shootings in schools is... more guns (yeehaw!).
010
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
Translation: “Our Trump Administration will kill your poor people until Democrats fall in line and obey the King, um, I mean the President.”
001
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
STATE OF THE UNION Recap: President Trump got up in front of Congress and farted out 420 distinct lies from his mouth hole over a tediously long and boring one hour and 48 minutes. Most of the crowd left early to beat the traffic out of the House parking lot.
0214
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Welcome to Donald Trump’s “great” America!
140
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Saw this on Twitter. Hilarious. MAGA has all the best ("smartest") people.
020
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Saw this on Twitter. Hilarious. MAGA has all the best ("smartest") people.
000
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
We are in the Dark Times The abhorrent abnormal has become normalized by 2-min meme attention spans. That’s their plan and it’s working perfectly. We are fully in the Dark Times. God save America.
020
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
Over 7 million yesterday. bsky.app/profile/gopj...
010
GOP Jesus @gopjesus.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
Why do MAGA men all look like smug, punchable a-holes? Asking for a friend.
2150