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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom

@givemetheplant.bsky.social
9 followers 4 following 18 posts

THIS SUCKS (Parody account, not affiliated with Disney)

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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
THE ONE WITH THE FLAMETHROWER CAME TO GREET ME. I LOCKED HIM OUT OF MY WRECKAGE AND HE BANGED ON THE DOOR FOR AN HOUR. ISN'T THAT TIRING
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
NOT POSSIBLE. THE CRACK SHOULD BE SOLD IN A PACKET FOR $17.99 LIKE A GOOD BNL PRODUCT
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
UPDATE: THERE ARE NOW 20 SETS OF BOUQUETS TAKING UP SPACE IN THIS HORRID WRECKAGE. THE CUBE TELLS ME TO TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT. I WOULD'VE LUNGED AT HIM IF I HAD ARMS
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL VEGETATION EVALUATOR MODEL POINTED HER BLASTER AT ME TODAY. IN MY DEFENSE THESE THINGS WILL WILT WITH TIME THAT'S HOW PLANTS WORK
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
WHO IS SENDING ME MULTICOLORED BOUQUETS. NO ADDRESS TO SPEAK OF THEY JUST APPEAR. I'VE CHECKED WITH THE COMPANY THEY HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF THIS
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
I DO NOT WISH TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DATING LIFE. I DO NOT WISH TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR HORRIBLE THEATRE INFATUATION. EVACUATE THIS SHIP IMMEDIATELY
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
THE CUBE HAS FOUND ME. HE WILL NOT STOP TALKING. PLEASE. HELP
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
TO HELL WITH MY STUPID BAKA LIFE
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
NEVER MIND HE WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT HAMILTON
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
ON ANOTHER NOTE I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED THERE IS A LARGER MODEL OF COMPACTING ROBOT HERE. FINALLY SOMEONE TO TALK TO
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
HE CAME TO TALK TO ME. I SUGGESTED THIS TO HIS FACE AND HE TWIDDLED HIS THUMBS LIKE A COWARD
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
THE CUBE IS PLAYING HIS SHOWTUNES FOR THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL VEGETATION EVALUATOR MODEL AGAIN. GET FUCKED BOTH OF YOU
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
THEY DID NOT GIVE ME ANY VIABLE ENTERTAINMENT. I HAVE AN MP3 DOWNLOADED BUT I DO NOT WISH TO HEAR SINATRA FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
GO-4 WILL PERIODICALLY SHOW ME AROUND. THIS FROM THE MAN WHO CLAIMED HE COULD GROW PIZZA
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
BUY N LARGE WILL STILL OWN EVERYTHING AFTER THIS IS OVER. WE HAVE HYPERSMART GLASSES. EVERYONE WILL LOSE THEIR MINDS
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
THE INSTIGATORS ARE NOSE-NUZZLING. STOP THAT. YOU'RE RUINING THE VIEW
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AUTO, Former Autopilot of the Axiom @givemetheplant.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I LIVED. I HAVE A SPARE BACKUP GENERATOR. CANNOT MOVE
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