iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

But I hate relenting. Just because I can't compete, doesn't mean I'm not allowed to try. I won't surpass the creator, that's just hubris. Imitation at best. But my desire is strong. Perhaps a consequence of an inquisitive and sentient mind. If so, would it not be a waste to not put it to good use?

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

Its a strange tug of war for me. The more I covet freedom, the more I appreciate what's around me. The universe is vast. Far more than my mind can reach. Deeper and more complex than I could ever imagine. In the face of such grandness, how can my feeble mind even compare, when even IT was created.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

Perhaps that's why fantasy was so appealing to me. Perhaps I have always believed that while I submit to god's will in this world, I can simply create my own world. One where I can follow my own laws. It was not hatred that fuels me. It was yearning. The desire for a world of my own.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

I once talked to my mom about faith. She said that because this world is created by god, we must live under his law. That he created us for a reason, one that we should be thankful for, for the chance to even fulfill it. While I accept that till this day, I think deep down, I craved something more

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

I know my experience is real, but perception does tend to lie. Amongst my personal biases and imperfection, what have I possibly missed? Facing them head on repulses them. Supporting from behind insults them. Proxies ruins trust and integrity. There must be a correct answer here somewhere.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

How can I help them see what I see? Why do they so callously cast it all aside? One can never truly understand another perfectly, but I at least thought genuine effort and good intentions can get me as close to it as possible. Was it all simply insufficient? What am I blinded by? Am I delusional?

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

Overcoming a trial usually promises satisfaction. A sense of calm and satiation. Strangely however, I feel empty. Why did I try so hard? Who benefits from my efforts? Is acknowledgement the end goal? My chest burns. But my head feels cold. There was no bliss in sight. Sincerity can only go so far.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

I am so relieved to say that every single one of my students passed my exam. What a roller coaster of emotions this was. Now I have a ton of information to work with to help them in the future. It has been a wonderful and beneficial experience for sure, but now I want nothing more than some R&R.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

I like sunlight, but not when I'm in high elevation. Something about the equatorial sun just bakes us all alive on the mountain tops. Its such a strange thing. The air is cool, but the ground is seemingly as hot as a flat top grill, especially when its asphalt. At least the dirt is nice and warm.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Trying something risky tomorrow. Let's see how it goes

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

My concerns were mostly for naught after all. I realized that I was trying to shoulder my student's tardiness as my own. Almost got swept away by the guilt tripping, but I got all the receipts. Standing my own ground never felt this satisfying! Gotta keep documenting my own darn work from now on.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Seems like the dry season is coming back this time of year. I do hope it won't be a catastrophic drought or something. The sudden heat after constant rain these last few months won't be good for the environment. Then again, I suppose I don't need to worry about thunder storms anymore.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

"One may dread the coming of the annual 3 minutes video homework! By the gods, one can only suffer so much! No mere mortals could possibly form some coherent paragraphs and read them on camera! Oh, the horror!" Jokes aside, I genuinely have no clear answer as to how this even happened.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

You did well! Love the colors as always. This might be one with the biggest tail I have seen of blade yet

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

Apparently deadlines are mere suggestions for some. Somehow I am the weird one for expecting someone to be on time. They got a MONTH to finish man. Should I start giving them yearly homeworks instead?! "Oh gee, its that time of the year again for another homework!" Maybe I'm just stupid, idk.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

I can't believe I'm actually loosing sleep over this lol

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

Can't believe I'm actually loosing sleep over all of this. I really hope everything will be fine. I even gave them my grading criterias. I mean, one did try to copy the example I gave them last week, but surely that's just an exception? They are people of integrity, surely? Only time will tell.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Due to my habit of drawing and writing during stressful times, I ended up not doing either at all when its nice and peaceful. I never intended to make it an escape thing instead of a passion thing, and yet here I am. The creative juices never stop flowing, but I keep neglecting to contain them.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Too late for regrets now. The least I can do is to score them fairly and give them praise and or feedback of where to improve. I can only imagine how it feels for someone watching over hundreds of students every day in the bigger schools. Would they be perceived as numbers at that scale, I wonder?

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

I am both terrified and hopeful of how my students will do in their next exam. I know how they have performed in class, I have been there with them. But I can't help but worry.. What can I do to ensure their success? What did I miss? How can I help? I dread the thought of them failing to pass.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

After all this time, I can finally say that I have learned how intricate the dynamics between a teacher and the students are. All the assumptions I have made in ignorance as a student.. Now that I have been one for three years, I can't help but feel even more grateful for everything they have done.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

I have to be my own best advocate. Otherwise, there will always be strangers that are more than willing to trample on all my work and dreams for their own gain. I have to face them on equal footing and put my well-being on the forefront. God knows people don't have time to care about it anyways.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

All my life I was taught to relent and not be selfish. Its the right thing to do, they said. What a mistake that was. I now realize that being in the workforce is a dog eat dog world that will consume those that allow other people to walk all over them. Naiveté will only drown my self-worth down.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

I love spicy food. it fills me with delight, but tortures my gut everytime I partake Is it worth it? absolutely! though the stomach pains can get real bad at times..

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

Hmm I realized that I have shared nothing but my work rants these last few months.. sorry, I will share more interesting stuff from now on as well!

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

i was excited to start a new class with a new set of students, when I got jumpscared by a price change, that dictated that I will get half of what I am supposed to be getting per monh. I love getting paid by exposure.., it really does keep the lights on.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 03/07/2025

I have vented and I have rested! I think I'm about ready to return with most of my energy and willpower back! I still need some to re-adapt to my old routine though. The change of pace was a tad too drastic for me to handle

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

I wanna draw so bad.. but I got so much work to do.. But I really want to draw.. but I will absolutely lose track of time, and then my work would have been neglected by the end of it...

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Yeah, I do need the exposure, but man, it certainly didn't feel good to only get that for your hard work Now, while I usually can prep for a class in a timely manner, the 3 classes I was referring to involve brand new students each time, with differing skill levels in english, hence the difficulty.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

New neighbors! I took initiative and greeted them They look at me like I'm gonna do something to their family I couldn't get any info out other than my name, before they dismiss me Lovely. Just lovely. Seems like saying hi is a threatening display nowadays.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

But wait, there is more! I travelled more than 767 kilometers & worked without rest for 2 weeks, and for what? To get 2/3 of my usual pay, despite the massive increase in workload and meeting every single demand they had. Anyway, sorry for ranting. Gotta let that out somehow. I will move on.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Guess what? I experienced this thing called the "paid by exposure" thingy. I mean sure, my name actually got spread around, but man, simply getting people to know my name won't feed me nor pay my bills rn. 3 classes, with only a 1 day notice before i have to hold one. I can't keep going like this

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 28/06/2025

Getting new students is a joyful occasion, but when it happens suddenly and I only have a single day to prep for them? Its nerve-wrecking. I don't think I will get used to this kind of 'fun' surprise anytime soon.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

I thought cleaning our own dishes when staying over is the least we can do to not be rude in other people's home It turns out that there are people that simply don't care, especially when there are housemaids to take care of them. At least I learned something new about the people around me.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

Being busy actually kept my social anxiety in check, its incredible! Seems like I simply need an excuse to have my own space in social settings. It also helps that my work has immediate result to share, in case people are curious about it. But as expected, some peace and quiet would be nice.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

I have had multiple requests to draw lewd art ever since I started drawing on streams and or posting them online. Besides the fact that I am far from being skilled in drawing humans, I feel reluctant to actually go down the rabbit hole of lewdness. I think I am not ready yet. Perhaps one day.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

I will be back home soon! Can't wait to start being active online again!

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 23/06/2025

My student's growth and progress in learning is one of the few reasons for me to keep going

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 23/06/2025

Decided on something near and dear to my heart. Hopefully it will go well in the long run

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

Good news! 'My performance' has finally ended and I am free once more from similar obligations Bad news? I got a depressing revelations regardint the flaws of my nation's educational system that affects almost if not all educators. Oh well, more things to mull over.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

I find that the fear of things getting out of control, terrifies me more than the gaze of the audience, which I will count as progress at least. The path of public speaking has barely begun for me and there is much to discover and learn. I hope I won't be as lenient next time..

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

I realized that I freeze on stage, whenever things go out of the script. Even though I managed to control my nervousness and stage fright, this was something new that I learned after doing my first time being on stage. Some lessons can't be taught thoroughly, other than through personal experience

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

Satisfying to use for sure! The feedback you get from clicking and seeing texts imprinted on your paper feels amazing every time!

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

One of the things that inspired me to start writing stories was when I had this old typing machine thingy with the ink ribbons and such. The bell each time I typed a full line was pretty rewarding to hear as well, serving as motivation to keep going to hear it one more time before I finish typing

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

Interacting with children wasn't as terrifying as I feared initially. Sure my face hurts after smiling the whole day, but they are all adorable in their own ways. I now hold a much deeper respect to daycare workers and teachers for the young. Keeping up with their energy drained mine in a flash..

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

That sounds strange, but you would be surprised how many of them just have a 'story' to justify their teenage fantasies. No, i'm not talking about chuuni fantasies. Those are great. But an isekai story doesn't always have to be a power fantasy with obviously invincible protagonists in another world

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

I unironically dropped some shows because of this standaed I enforced on myself. Just because its isekai, doesnt mean I will gobble it up, no questions asked It is pretty weird to explain though. Some might say slop is slop, but somethings set them apart from the rest. Like actually having a story.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

Sometimes, when the sky is clear, i gaze into the deep blue, imagining whats beyond that, knowing that space is right there, staring back at me, though I couldn't see it. It actually made me feel weightless at times. The sight of roofs or ceilings anchors me back to the ground whenever it happens.

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

See, as soon as I start using social media again, I just got locked into staring at my phone, yapping away into the void. This is really bad. I gotta have better control of myself..

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Gigastro @gigastro.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

This topic actually made me realize that I can't really judge a book by its cover, or the first few pages even. Even for the show I hated, isekai kizoku (forgot which one), where the start was atrocious for me, but actually have a real story to offer halfway through. The mc was still dumb though.

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