Sign in

Gerraint

@gerraint.bsky.social
817 followers 736 following 1.5K posts

Building affordable homes with @PlatformHg.bsky.social #Mentor Non Exec Director Ongo & Chair @chcymru.bsky.social RAF veteran. Hates cucumber. Gair-eye-nt #Cycling

PostsRepliesMedia
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
There was an ABBA tribute band in the high street today. They were brilliant, just far too loud. You could hear the drums from Nando’s.
020
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I phoned my boss this morning. "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now." "What?" He answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's 5am in the morning! What are you doing on a train?" "You tell me," I replied. "You're the one who told me to be in Brighton early this morning!"
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I never understood why a set of false teeth is called "dentures". They really missed a trick not calling them "substitooths".
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
My wife just told me there are 14 things I do that annoy her, plus my obsession with Wimbledon. I said, “That’s 15 love”.
030
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Penarth Marina.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Penarth Marina.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Cardiff Bay. 🐢
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Penarth sea front AI’d.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
I’ve over done it and swollen up on holiday and can’t get my ring off. Any advice please? Everyone at the water park is laughing at me.
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
I heard there might be a hose pipe ban this week. So, I’ve just bought 10 in B&Q..
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
My friend Jay just had twin daughters and wanted to name them after himself. So I suggested Kaye and Elle.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
It was a long time ago.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Number three in my case.
100
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Two truths, one lie, actual performance reviews from my military service; 1. Oakley is always in the sh!t, it’s only the depth that varies. 2. Anyone following Oakley into battle will do so purely out of curiosity. 3. Oakley is not completely useless. He can always serve as a bad example.
100
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
People that like my posts are happier, more intelligent and better looking than those who don't; according to a study I made up.
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I was in court earlier, I said the the judge: “Your Honour, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus.” Judge: “Repeat infractions?” Me: “Fine…3/5 of my parking tickets are bogus.”
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Is this player Mick Stubbles any good? They keep mentioning him on the Wimbledon coverage.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I am stuck on the M4. A lorry carrying ballroom dresses has overturned. Police are advising motorists to go slow, slow, quick quick, slow.
020
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
A man dining at a seafood restaurant asked for a lobster tail. The waitress smiled sweetly and said, "Once upon a time, there was this lobster ..."
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Moonlight.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
View from the Shard and a late night London fox.
022
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I went trainspotting once. It was surprisingly easy. They're bloody massive and make a hell of a lot of noise.
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I caught my kids throwing Scrabble tiles at each other earlier. I said cut that out, it's all fun and games until someone loses an I.
020
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Six years of pond “biosphere” building.
020
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Sheffield.
110
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Dads: Get revenge on your children tomorrow by running into their rooms at 5am to ask if you can open your Father's Day presents.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Sheffield.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Barrow in Furness.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
My friend asked, what would make me smile? I said, S.I.L.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
I bought 10 asparagus at the store, but when l got home I counted 11. Must've been a spare, I guess.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
I said to my daughter, "| would take a bullet for you. My daughter said, "Dad, you're probably the reason we're being shot at.” Me, “It still counts."
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Do not attempt to put your bike on the centre stand whilst wearing wet flip flops. Stupid boy.
100
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
My mate has just bought a dog that only understands commands in Spanish. I asked him what breed he was, he said, “He's Espanyol.”
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
That was an epic day! 🏍️ 🇧🇪 🇫🇷 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
Sharing my chips. 🍟
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Ghent 🇧🇪
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Osnabrück
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
I told my mate that I am addicted to seaweed. He said “You should sea kelp.”
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Bruges.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Train, and then Dunkirk and Bruges.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Last night I stayed in the Duke William, Canterbury on the first day of my road trip to Germany What a fantastic pub! Because I’m leaving for Le Shuttle before breakfast they gave me a breakfast hamper It was fantastic, and the chocolate velvet ruby fortified wine was delicious
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Long Way to Germany 🇩🇪
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
My IQ went up 10% tonight.
000
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
If a bee is bothering you, don’t swat it and don’t run away. Just look at it. Because seeing is bee leaving.
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
I just wrote an apology in dots and dashes. It's my Remorse Code.
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
I entered a palindrome contest today… I won top spot.
010
Gerraint @gerraint.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
I absolutely refuse to accept the fact, that I fell overboard on an Egyptian river cruise!
000