Sign in

Gene Weingarten

@geneweingarten.bsky.social
1.9K followers 318 following 400 posts

Former Wapo humor columnist, current writer, cartoonist, and misanthrope.

PostsRepliesMedia
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
In which the idiot U.S. senator is petarded. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/bad-self-o...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Bad Self-Own Service
If you have not already heard about Republican U.S.
020
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Trumpism has trickled down, like pus off a gangrenous leg. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-shabby...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Shabby Society
Exactly.
020
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The Magats will hate this. Any troubadours out there who want to make it a song? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/an-ode-to-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
An Ode to the Dipshits ...
This is for the many MAGAts who finally seem to be dumping Trump.
040
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
This is funny. And scary, particularly to me. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/uh-oh-its-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Uh Oh. It’s Funny.
This cartoon is by the always excellent Nick Anderson, drawn for today’s The Contrarian. In republishing it, my point is as simple as the cartoon: I believe AI cannot be that lucidly creative and insp...
040
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Spoiler alert: He's for vaccines. In a way. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/trump-does...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Trump Does Something Good!
(Wait till he finds out.)
030
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
urgent question: In doing today's Spelling Bee, did you try "exigent" and were told it was not in their word list? I was, three times, but the site says it WAS on their list. Thank you for your attention to this important matter.
150
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
We have very funny readers. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Invitational Week 191: Just Kidding
Give a creative answer to a young child’s typical questions. And winning transformations of basic symbols.
030
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
The Ployboy of the Western World geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-toilet...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Toilet Paper Tiger
He is a paper tiger.
030
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
This is for people who care about money, and/or Substack, and/or sex. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/two-pokes-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Two Pokes in the Ribs
Get it? GET it?
031
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
This column will take only 47 seconds to read. You'll be glad you did. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/good-news
geneweingarten.substack.com
Good News!
We get to flush him!
050
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Sometimes, the Beast wins. Not today. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-nature...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Nature of The Beast
. . . It's kind of pathetic.
010
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Colbert, from a year ago: "Kinda hard to feel a lot of sympathy for Trump voters. They ordered the turd soup, and then said, 'waiter, there's turds in my soup!' Then they came back four years later and asked, "Y'all still have that turd soup?"
1223
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
How to win a Pulitzer. (a la Donald Trump) geneweingarten.substack.com/publish/post...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Trump's Piggyback Ploy
— Yesterday, the servile board of trustees of the stately John F.
050
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
This horrifies me. It may horrify you. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/cruel-but-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Cruel .... But Not Unusual
Seventeen years ago I wrote a magazine story about parents who accidentally leave their children to die in hot cars.
2106
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
You might want to take the poll. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-platne...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Platner Paradox
Something unusual today: We are going to start with a poll, and only afterward will we explain why we are asking.
000
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Rand Paul is an asswipe. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/a-dose-of-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
A Dose of Insanity
Rand Paul makes a Faucian bargain...
271
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Was I too easy on Ross Douthat? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/bari-how-c...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Bari, How Can You Douthat to '60 Minutes'?
This just "ism" good, at all.
361
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Yes, it is. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-is-ki...
geneweingarten.substack.com
This Is Kind of Sick, No?
In the last few months, two Republican members of Congress have been weirdly absent from public view: New Jersey Representative Tom Kean Jr.
050
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Would you pay $2 for this? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/an-immodes...
geneweingarten.substack.com
An Immodest Proposal
Let's give Trump's coin some new ... currency.
021
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Watch the media cover Trump tomorrow. Prepare to hurl. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-softie...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Softie Media
Something bad is going to happen tomorrow night. I am not talking about Donald Trump’s primetime address to the nation about how the 2020 election was stolen from him.
031
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
I just wanted you to see this picture. The column's good, too. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/breaking-i...
geneweingarten.substack.com
BREAKING IRONY ALERT!
CNN just moved a story alert saying that Elon Musk, the man deputized by Donald Trump to bring more instant misery to the world than any other human being, has finally — officially — become the world’...
010
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Is he dead? How will that affect the gerontocracy? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/rigor-tort...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Rigor Tortoise
The hullaballoo over whether Mitch McConnell still lives — and if so, in what condition?
081
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Take the Poll! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/emergency-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Emergency Gene Pool Gene Poll
Sorry for the intrusion.
001
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Jeff, the Mutt. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-integr...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Integrity Liquidator
Until a couple of days ago, I’d thought I understood Jeffrey Bezos’s shameful financial abandonment of the Washington Post.
163
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
You've got to read this to believe it. The pictures help. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/plummeting...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Plummeting Fortune
At 9:39 on the morning of Saturday, July 28, 1945, 20-year-old Betty Lou Oliver had just started her shift as an elevator operator at the Empire State building in New York.
082
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Urgent Breaking News geneweingarten.substack.com/p/quick-whic...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Quick -- Which Way to the Vomitorium?
To: Frank Bisignano, commissioner, Social Security Administration
060
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Yeah, it's a turdburger. Sorry. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-great-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Great American State Fair, Part II
Overnight, Donald Trump posted the following:
051
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Did I go too easy on the Daily News? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/bad-front-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
BAD FRONT-PAGE NEWS!
TO: Ed Woods, Vice President & Chief Revenue Officer, The New York Daily News
020
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Warning: This column is only for people who think Trump is a simpleton. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/has-trump-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Has Trump Finally Hit a Homer?
I have a thought I’d like to share with you. Before I do, it’s only fair to warn you: This will make no sense unless you believe, as I do, that Donald Trump is fundamentally a simpleton.
041
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Trump should write a new book about his excursion in Iran: The Fart of The Deal.
050
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
The Long Goodbye -- it might be fun. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/erasing-tr...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Erasing Trump
It starts in 2029. It won't be easy, but it could be fun.
060
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Now this here is a terribly written story. But ... intriguing. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/wtf-50d
geneweingarten.substack.com
WTF?
Please help me understand this story.
140
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
boooo... geneweingarten.substack.com/p/before-you...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Before You Can Say Boo . . .
. . .Say Boo. (An open letter to New York Knicks fans)
051
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Was her name even Alice? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-massac...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Massacree Is Over!
“Is it around the back?’ Rachel asked.
1112
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Do you think you know cats? This is a reader-interactive column. geneweingarten.substack.com/publish/post...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Where In The World Is Pittsburgh?
Grandpa and Her Children: The saga continues
000
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
You might find this astonishing. I did. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/boom-goes-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Boom! Goes Artificial Intelligence
(A Somewhat Cautionary Tale)
040
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
The restructuring of human worth. By AI. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-bit-an...
geneweingarten.substack.com
The Bit and the Pendulum
In which we plumb a disturbing truth
030
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
Please read this one. It's deadly, and deserved. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/jaysos-bezos
geneweingarten.substack.com
Jaysos, Bezos ...
“The Post needs to be a profitable enterprise that stands on its own two feet, because that’s a measure of its relevance.
252
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
A story for our times. It takes place in 1975. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/its-gall-i...
geneweingarten.substack.com
It's Gall In a Day's Work
A story for our times.
041
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Advice to would-be book authors: Don't be. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/do-you-hav...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Do You Have A Book Inside You?
My advice? Poop it out, and then flush.
010
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
I apologize for the double dip, but forgot to point out that this column, at the end, finally answers the question: Why are poop jokes funny? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/arm-the-lo...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Arm The Lobsters
Behold my solution to a problem that may soon be consuming the Defense Department: How to spend the obscene oodles of boodle Donald Trump’s lapdog Congress seems poised to deliver to them for fiscal y...
021
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Here is some advice for Pete Hegseth. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/arm-the-lo...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Arm The Lobsters
Behold my solution to a problem that may soon be consuming the Defense Department: How to spend the obscene oodles of boodle Donald Trump’s lapdog Congress seems poised to deliver to them for fiscal y...
021
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
A history lesson: Why Trump sucks. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/ike-v-tyke
geneweingarten.substack.com
Ike v. Tyke
History doesn't always echo. Sometimes, it mocks.
000
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
An homage to goo. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/i-say-tomato
geneweingarten.substack.com
I Say Tomato.
Hello.
070
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Slimeballs, every one. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/here-lies-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Here Lies The Trump Doctrine
U.S.
210
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Extra! Extra! Discover what "Pulitzer dick" is! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/oh-its-tha...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Oh. It's That Pulitzer Smell.
Winning a Pulitzer Prize is commonly considered the pinnacle of a journalist’s career.
011
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
All hail Marc Thiessen, Trumpsucker supreme. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/pass-the-s...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Pass the Shovel
— Yesterday, The Washington Post (current motto: “Under New Mismanagement") published a piece by columnist Marc Thiessen, resident Trumpsucker, that surpassed even his own depths of osculatory homage.
050
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
This guy makes me personally nervous. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/oh-shoot-h...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Oh, Shoot. He Has a Sense of Humor.
A very brief Gene Pool today.
121
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Thank you. Here it is: acurazine.com/forums/car-t....
acurazine.com
Interesting Journalistic Piece on the Volt - AcuraZine - Acura Enthusiast Community
Car Talk - Interesting Journalistic Piece on the Volt - It's a little long, but it is entertaining. Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/21/AR2011012105347.html?sid=ST2...
120
Gene Weingarten @geneweingarten.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
What if baseball were played with a basketball? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/now-heres-...
geneweingarten.substack.com
Now Here's a Funny Question . . .
I have discovered how Artificial Intelligence — if utilized correctly — can be a boon to all of humankind, not a threat to our jobs, our environment, our emotional stability, or even our very existenc...
042