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Gaius Coffey

@gaiuscoffey.bsky.social
70 followers 116 following 115 posts

Celebrating the inherent lack of meaning in existence through futile acts of nihilist insignificance and sesquipedalian initiative. Also writing.

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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The documents seem to be sparse On smartass instead of smartarse The yanks’ clever donkey To me seems quite wonky Which might be reflective of class.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
An excellent exile exhaled On learning he’d not be impaled After rocking the boat He had crossed the moat  (Where less good exile had failed) #sillyRhymes #amWriting #myOtherWritingIsGood
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If you liked my #nudist please vote for me here! #amWriting #sillyRhymes #amBeingRead #spillwords spillwords.com/vote/
spillwords.com
Vote for Author/Publication of the Month at Spillwords.com
Spillwords.com Voting Page, where Spillwords Press Members can submit their vote for Author of the Month and Publication of the Month.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Very impressed by (and appreciative of) agents who provide semi-personalised form rejections that are in some way useful to the recipient rather than the blank form rejections that merely confirm the existence of someone at the other end. #amQuerying
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I'd used #queryTracker all wrong It knew more than I knew all along I'd ignored the reports For similar sorts But now I have queried a throng #amWriting #amQuerying #sillyRhymes
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
To infinitives split where no infinitives have been splitten before. #boldlyGoing #amWriting
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Reposted by Gaius Coffey
SPILLWORDS.COM @spillwordspress.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
The Next Nudest Nudist written by: Gaius Coffey   The next nudest nudist could not condone why the nudest one’s nudism outranked his own. The next nudest nudist’s unblemished skin was natural, organic, and wholesome within where the #WritingCommunity #Poetry #Fiction #Literature #Spillwords
spillwords.com
The Next Nudest Nudist
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
So here it is, it’s here at last! Read my rhyme and have a blast! #sillyRhymes #amWriting #amBeingRead #nudism #spillwords spillwords.com/the-next-nud...
spillwords.com
The Next Nudest Nudist, a poem by Gaius Coffey at Spillwords.com
Spillwords.com presents: The Next Nudest Nudist, a poem by Gaius Coffey, a keen reader and keen writer, with eclectic tastes in both.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Parataxic writing meant clauses, fragments: independent. Where hypotaxic joined them better and placed ideas smoothly together. Readers caring? Notice much? Fast and clear? Double Dutch? Do they seek out a longer sentence, to soothe the tongue without pretence? #amWriting #wordOfTheDay #sillyRhymes
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
After reading the 26th page of a writing forum discussion on genre / literary writing (in which nobody is using even similar definitions) I start to feel less bad about my own ignorance – clearly I am not alone. #amWriting
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
A cantankerous kitty named Kat Caught a crotchety crippled old bat A litter of birds An assortment of words And a small hamster wearing a hat
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Their tag is messy and attrocial So my rhyme will make you pout But on @spillwordspress.bsky.social My poem's coming out I haven't got the date yet I haven't got the link But my poem's fun and frolics Will make your heart not sink. #amWriting #amBeingRead #sillyRhymes
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Reposted by Gaius Coffey
Buddy Beaver @buddybeaver.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
When four instead of five iambs I wrote, Iambic bot could find nothing of note.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Are you left cold by dino erotica? Do your tastes lead somewhere exotic-er? Does accent diminution, And strict elocution, Seem, to you, more erotic-er?
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
The quiddity of liquid is liquidity, yet the quiddity of rock is not so rockety. Though the quiddity of peace is peaceability, for a seat it is both comfort and stability. #amWriting #amDistracted #wordOfTheDay
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Though acid is found in the gut And can also clean drains, it is not So good on faces And sensitive places: Read a text book, learn what is what. #sillyRhymes #lifeAdvice #amWriting #sorta
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
With posts and with followers equal Neither number could count as a peak, well... I've now posted more Than the number before In this utterly meaningless sequel #obsessiveBehaviour #sillyRhymes #amWriting #sorta
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
With thick tache over his bouche He advised us to all scaramouche We did the fandango (Mine more like a tango) The evening went with a whoosh. #sillyRhymes #amWriting #sorta #bohemian
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Another #openMic session tomorrow where I think I’ll read The Stone of Destiny. Good when I #amPerforming to improve the times I #amWriting and remind me why I #amQuerying so I #amUpbeat even if I #amOverusingHashtags
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Ceci n'est pas une derivative post sur bluesky.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
I entered a terrible funk When a reader called my work junk I swore off all writing Instead I went smiting Dismembering foes chunk by chunk #amWriting #amSmiting #sillyRhymes
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Reposted by Gaius Coffey
Emma Darwin @emmadarwinwriter.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
So the Director of Brand and Content at Bauer Media has emailed regular writers to say that in future the stories in Take-a-Break’s Fiction Feast will be written by AI, the author being given as “The Fiction Team”;
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I do not understand why writers comment on QueryTracker.net to note their submission rather than use QueryTracker's tracking feature to do the same thing more effectively, usefully, searchably and informatively. There, I've said it. #amQuerying #amBemused
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
You mustn’t preclude my prelude Foreshadowing imps in the nude Please don’t preempt My dwarves quite unkempt I shall not be censored you prude #sillyRhymes
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
The benefit of reading to a terrestrial #writingGroup is often not the things they say about the work you read, but the discussion that ensues afterwards. I'd been a little stuck, and am now unstuck so #amWriting and life is good.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
A dullard, a fool and a dolt Wound up the wrong side of a bolt They didn’t stay quiet They started a riot Three dorbellists; open revolt #amWriting #sorta #sillyRhymes #limericks
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Looking forward to an #openMic session tonight. I love it when I #amWriting But also love it when I have an audience!
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Another contribution to the world’s silliness from yours truly. Enjoy! #amWriting #sillyRhymes #epic #destiny spillwords.com/the-stone-of...
spillwords.com
The Stone of Destiny, a poem by Gaius Coffey at Spillwords.com
Spillwords.com presents: The Stone of Destiny, a poem by Gaius Coffey, a keen reader and keen writer, with eclectic tastes in both.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Sibilant sayings soft soothingly sway So some silly sausage should saunter away Slipping eloquent words In sialoquent blurs Sussurant whispers are covered in spray #amWriting #sillyRhymes #vocabDay
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Happy to know I've a rhyme coming out Though I'm not saying now what the rhyme is about You'll just have to wait till I find out the date Your fun, though delayed, will not be too late. I hope people find that my rhyme's to their taste But I did enjoy writing, so it won't be a waste. #amWriting
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
I can really taste the garlic from the meal I ate last night, It must be on the chopping board; it makes my cheese not right. I really liked the garlic when I chewed a roasted clove, But I prefer my garlic when the garlic does not rove. #amWriting #notWritingWhatIShouldBe #sillyRhymes #garlic
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
The wannabe who'd be an is Was caught in a terrible tiz The silence outside Was a slight to his pride And he couldn't break into the biz #amWriting #amQuerying #amWritingSillyRhymes #sillyRhymes
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Another day, another silence. No response to queries sent. I can glean nothing from the void And pointless is the time I spent Tweaking to unspoken wishes. Is this what Schrödinger might have meant? #amQuerying #amWriting #frustrated #aLittleBored
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
I'm so frustrated by this spot, A recalcitrant and ugly dot. I wish in vain to make it go, Instead it spreads and seems to grow.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Having killed off a good guy (it was unexpected) The remaining survivors are not as selected It seems he was holding my story flow back And I did kill him gently, no sickening thwack #amWriting #noSeriously #sillyRhymes
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Looking forward to a new beta-read, novel swap with other good writers. The last one was both informative and fun. #amWriting
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Huge woolly mammoths had heft, Just through treading left many bereft, Kept warm so fully, By their thick coat so woolly, It's a wonder there aren't any left. #amWriting #notWhatIShouldBeWriting
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
A poet in love with an orange, Was frustrated to find only sporange, That poetical crime, An inappropriate rhyme, His language it seemed needed more range.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Through pointless rhyme I find my mojo within this superficial dojo. #amwriting #limberingUp #myOtherWritingIsGood
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Today's brief snippet of vacuous poesie Comes on the back of a writer hellbent On tweaking a deftly wrought story (not cosy) Yanking it after the story was sent.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
When finally my head gets down to business, When arranging words stops causing dizziness, I need to swap some misplaced chapters, Delete a scene, erase the raptors. After cutting out so much, Burning the unused raptor hutch, I see act two come into focus, With style and substance, not hocus-pocus.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Far too bland to have wise words, my pen (though mighty) is for the birds. My prose, though sharp, is in it sheath and hidden depth lies not beneath. It's noted most for vacuosity and not intriguing curiosity.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
A really quite clever young zebra Excelled in maths and algebra Not so good with sound His speech oft would wound The sensitive ears of young Deborah
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
I have both ends with final scene, and now must write bits in between. #amWriting
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Not gonna lie, quite pleased with the reception for this: spillwords.com/mary-had-a-s... #sillypoems #amwriting
spillwords.com
Mary Had a Stalker, a poem by Gaius Coffey at Spillwords.com
Spillwords.com presents: Mary Had a Stalker, a poem by Gaius Coffey, a keen reader and keen writer, with eclectic tastes in both.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
Drifting once more from the limelight, a brief flood of upvotes, then gone…
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
This is very silly, but it’s _my_ very silly… spillwords.com/mary-had-a-s... #amWriting #havingFun
spillwords.com
Mary Had a Stalker, a poem by Gaius Coffey at Spillwords.com
Spillwords.com presents: Mary Had a Stalker, a poem by Gaius Coffey, a keen reader and keen writer, with eclectic tastes in both.
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
So today I entered Bridport, I found it kinda fun, Synopsising all my words, To make a squashy bun. I didn't really make a cake, That's just poetic licence... Proving I'm no fake, you know, To give, with words, the essence. #amWriting #bridport #bridportprize
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Gaius Coffey @gaiuscoffey.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
Iambic bot is taunting me again.
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