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Frank Sonderborg

@FSonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy
47 followers 14 following 1.2K posts

A North Sider. A story teller living in an absurd world. A narrator, teller of tales, spinner of yarns. Frank Sonderborg was born in Ireland, lives in the UK, and […] 🌉 bridged from ⁂ mastodon.ie/@FSonder, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 19/10/2026
Does Pavlov's stick ring a bell?
Image has a dog publisher talking to a dog author about the dog author's new book.
The dog publisher is saying:
​"If you introduce a stick in act one, somebody needs to throw it." 
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 19/10/2026
Yep. Got it in one;+)
ARE YOU LONELY?

TIRED OF WORKING ON YOUR OWN?

DO YOU HATE MAKING DECISIONS?

HOLD A MEETING!!!

YOU CAN...

SEE People

DRAW Org charts

FEEL Important

IMPRESS Your Colleagues

EAT Donuts

ALL ON COMPANY TIME!

MEETINGS

...The Practical Alternative to Work!
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 17/10/2026
A fishy story;+)
Q: My child will not eat fish, what can I replace it with? 

​A: A cat. Cats love fish. 
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 16/10/2026
I'll pass on this;+)
Dilbert cartoon with the pointy headed boss saying to Dilbert and his two colleagues:

​"AND STARTING TODAY, ALL PASSWORDS MUST CONTAIN LETTERS, NUMBERS, DOODLES, SIGN LANGUAGE AND SQUIRREL NOISES." 
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 03/10/2026
Are we write. So let's start;+)
Things that make writers anxious.

Not writing.
Writing.
People reading their stories.
People not reading their stories.
Editing.
Not editing.
Not having any good ideas.
Having too many ideas and not being able to decide which to write.
Having one really good idea and worrying they're not good enough to write it.
Not having time to write.
Having time to write.
No reviews.
999 good reviews and that one fucker who thought the title was too long.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026
It means no worries for the rest of your days
Name the compound:
HCOONa   Handwritten text in image:Matata
005 5
Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 15/09/2026
We're gonna need a bigger boat!
Image shows Moses Ark overrun by rabbits. Moses is standing  on the Ark and the caption reads: Tell the Rabbits, we need to talk!
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 14/09/2026
Knots Landing;+)
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake.

He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age when he asks, "How am I doing?"

The prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back."
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 07/09/2026
Why, Hello There;+)
I met my wife at a singles night in the pub. Quite a surprise, really, as I thought she
was at home with the kids.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 04/09/2026
All in the stroke, it seems;+0
Men, if you are over 50, leave the young girls alone and find a woman who understands the signs of a stroke
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 25/08/2026
Country Joe and his Fish got screwed;-O
1969 Woodstock booking fees.

​List of Fees:

​Jimi Hendrix - $18,000.00

​Blood, Sweat & Tears - $15,000.00

​Joan Baez - $10,000.00

​Creedence Clearwater Revival - $10,000.00

​The Band - $7,500.00

​Janis Joplin - $7,500.00

​Jefferson Airplane - $7,500.00

​Sly & the Family Stone - $7,000.00

​Canned Heat - $6,500.00

​The Who - $6,250.00

​Richie Havens - $6,000.00

​Arlo Guthrie - $5,000.00

​Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - $5,000.00

​Ravi Shankar - $4,500.00

​Johnny Winter - $3,750.00

​Ten Years After - $3,250.00

​Country Joe and the Fish - $2,500.00

​Grateful Dead - $2,500.00

​The Incredible String Band - $2,250.00

​Mountain - $2,000.00

​Tim Hardin - $2,000.00

​Paul Butterfield Blues Band - $1,800.00

​Bert Sommer - $1,500.00

​Joe Cocker - $1,375.00

​Sweetwater - $1,250.00

​John B. Sebastian - $1,000.00

​Melanie - $750.00

​Santana - $750.00

​Sha Na Na - $700.00

​Keef Hartley Band - $500.00

​Quill - $375.00

​Country Joe McDonald (Solo) - $0.00
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 05/08/2026
And what does our ai panel think of this?
Man is painting a fence. He has painted two panels and has half completed a third, when he passes on the job to an ai robot. The AI robot continues the job. Completely painting two panels and a half and moving on to complete the next two panels and a half
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 28/07/2026
Must have been a Mormon moment;+)
As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with seven wives
Every wife had seven sacks
Every sack had seven cats
Every cat had seven kits
Kits, cats,sacks, wives 
How many were going to St Ives
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 02/07/2026
Make Brexit Great Again🤩
We are closed 
Tuesday, July 4th
In Observance of
Brexit 1776
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 19/06/2026
Coffee with the pigs!
Man and women looking out the window of the three pigs house. The big bad Wolf is looking in the window. The three pigs are watching the couple looking out the window.
The couple are saying to the Wolf: "Listen out there! We're George and Harriet! We just dropped in on the pigs for coffee. We're coming out! We don't want  trouble.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 14/06/2026
The milky-bars are on me....
Don't be afraid to spend money on live music and beer with friends.
Be afraid of growing old and realising the only place you ever went was work.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 26/05/2026
Standing in the Shadows of Love - Four Tops
Most of the shadows of this life are
caused by our standing in our own
sunshine.

:Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 25/05/2026
Honey, were home;-)
Image shows a Dinosaur in a spacesuit looking at the Earth from an approaching spaceship: And he is saying:
"Finally, we're home!
Hope the monkey didn't
touch anything.”
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 18/05/2026
More wise words from George Bernard Shaw
"The reasonable man adapts
himself to the world; the
unreasonable one persists to
adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends
on the unreasonable man.”

#George Bernard Shaw
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 12/05/2026
Rats to dat;-O
Image shows a Cruise ship passing a man stranded on a desert Island. There is only one palm tree on this island. And the castaway is hidding behind it, until the Cruise ship has passed
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 05/05/2026
The man should start a Foundation;-O
When stupidity is considered
patriotism, it is unsafe to be
intelligent.

Isaac Asimov
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 04/05/2026
Anything to pull in the punters;+O
A Priest is pouring a bottle of wine down the throat of an elderly woman in a wheelchair. There is another old man slumped in his chair. There is a group of people awaiting their turn with the free wine. The priest's altar is full of wine bottles and has a big sign hanging on it,  that says: All You Can Drink Communion.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 28/04/2026
Even though you’re completely mad, and just as impossible to handle as an itchy bum, you’re, in a nutshell, my one and only - Kim Larsen Danish Folk Singer
Selvom du, er
kugleskør,
og lige sa
krop umulig
som en
Røv der klør,
sa er du kort
fortalt, mit
et og alt
Kim Larsen
1945 - 2018
Translation:   Even though you’re
completely mad,
and just as
impossible to handle
as an
itchy bum,
you’re, in a nutshell,
my
one and only
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 27/04/2026
True love, ya can't beat it;+O
My wife has been on vacation, and she's coming home today. I haven't cleaned anything or done any of the dishes so she'll see I can't live without her. I'm so romantic like that.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 19/04/2026
I have heard the hairy German girls legs were a big hit with the GI Joe's after the war. As it was quite the hairy experience, after their smooth shaved US sweethearts.
Image of a hairy legged German girl walking on a windy day
The translation of the German word which explains this : Fruhlingsbeinkitzel:

The feeling of wind in your leg hair
On the first nice day of Spring
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 17/04/2026
Karl may have also agreed. Well, I do anyway;-)
“I, not events, have the power to make me
happy or unhappy today. | can choose which it
shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't
arrived yet. | have just one day, today, and I'm
going to be happy in it."

Groucho Marx
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 29/03/2026
Yep, on the nail again;+)
Image of Dilbert saying:
Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 16/03/2026
World is full of dumb as fuck $Billionaires Must be a moral in there somewhere. Then again, these Dumb Fuckers have no morals;-(
Pointy Haired Boss is standing behind Dilbert as Dilbert works on his office computer.

Pointy Haired Boss says:
I ASSUME YOURE
DUMB BECAUSE
YOU WORK HARDER
THAN I DO AND EARN
LESS MONEY.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 16/03/2026
Come on in, we are all one happy family. We'll all go together when we go;-O
The Mayor of  Amity Island, giving the all clear for people to get back in the water again, after the Shark Attacks. Amity Island, (a fictional coastal resort town,) is the setting for the shark attacks in the movie Jaws. 

Text Reads:
“But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the Strait of
Hormuz is open and people are having a
wonderful time!”
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 08/03/2026
Onwards and upwards....

Por las que lucharon
Por las que luchan |
Y por las que vendran.
8 de marco - Dia de la Mujer

--------------------------------------------------
For those who fought,
For those who fight,
And for those who will fight.
March 8 - Women's Day

Eva Carmen
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 07/03/2026
Nobody is perfect;-O
I meditate. I burn candles.
I drink green tea, and
I still want to smack some people.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 28/02/2026
Douglas Adams, once again getting it right. (Quote from: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy “trilogy” of six novels, beginning with the 1979 book of the same name.)
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone
discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it
is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by
something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another which states that this has already
happened.
001 1
Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 22/02/2026
Fox News?
Image of a pretty unhealthy looking fox
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 11/02/2026
Valentines day and all banged up.
Online Dating Again.
Last guy said he lived in a gated community.

Prison.
He meant prison.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 06/02/2026
Let loose the army of Lazy men!!!
“Progress isn't made by early risers. 
It's made by lazy men trying to find easier
ways to do something.”

Robert A. Heinlein - Time Enough For Love
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 01/02/2026
Marcus you hit da spot with that;-P
There is but one thing of real
value — to cultivate truth and
justice, and to live without
anger among unjust men.
Marcus Aurelius
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 28/01/2026
Ya can't always get what ya want. But if ya try... Ya get what...
Image of a youthful Mick Jagger and an old weathered Mitch McConnell
Mick Jagger is 80, Mitch McConnel is 81.
The benefits of sex, drugs and rock n roll should not be ignored.
013 3
Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 26/01/2026
I C U....
THIS FELLA SAID TO ME TODAY:
"ARE THOSE THICK LENS GLASSES YOU'RE WEARING?"
| SAID: “NO, THEY'RE MINE".
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 26/01/2026
Palantir Technologies Customer Tech Support, reveals the new VR headset they must wear, when dealing with disgruntled customers;-P
Image shows a scary man wearing a scary iron visor helmet with two snakes sticking out on each side of the Visor helmet.
There is a type of sun decoration on the top of the visor helmet 

I believe this image depicts Thulsa Doom a fictional sorcerer and recurring villain created by Robert E. Howard, originally as the undead nemesis of Kull of Atlantis before becoming a foe of Conan the Barbarian in comics and films.
James Earl Jones portrayed Thulsa Doom in the 1982 film Conan the Barbarian, leading a snake cult that enslaves Princess Yasimina and kills Conan's love Valeria with a snake arrow. Conan ultimately beheads him atop his mountain temple
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 25/01/2026
Stupid is as stupid does;-O
Life is hard, but it's harder if you're stupid.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 22/01/2026
The MRA
024 4
Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 22/01/2026
Its tough being a hands on Dad;-)
Image shows a father giving a lecture in physics to his son about breaking a window. The board behind the Father has all the various angles of a ball before it breaks the window.
Text reads:
Eventually, Billy came to dread his father’s
lectures over all other forms of punishment.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 16/01/2026
Doggone!
Sign outside a building;
DR. ENDERL I N
Veterinarian/Taxidermist
“either way you get your dog back"
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 13/01/2026
And it better be an Irish Ballad;-O
You don't love someone for their looks or clothes or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear : Oscar Wilde
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 13/01/2026
I'll get me coat;-O
I wanted to post a joke about Sodium, but I was like Na, people won't understand.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 11/01/2026
The Note Frump was slipped by Miller?
A To Do List
1. Crush My Enemies
2. See Them Driven Before Me
3. Hear the Lamentation of the Women
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 10/01/2026
I remember, The Old Grey Whistle Test;-) Smooth....
Why does everyone associate Satan with heavy metal...
For all we know Satan could like Smooth Jazz!
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 03/01/2026
Nunion, Napple and a Norange
Teacher: Give me a sentence which Includes the words
Defence, Defeat, Detail.
Charlie: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first, and then detail.
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 31/12/2025
Roll on 2026: Onwards and Upwards Here's looking at yous, Kiddos;-)
Thank you for a fantastic year

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year
Translated from the the Danish
Tak for et Fantastisk Aar
Glaedelig Jul
& Godt Nytaar
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Frank Sonderborg @fsonder.mastodon.ie.ap.brid.gy · 28/12/2025
Next up Guitar Solo, Brothers with Arms;-)
Image shows an Octopus playing the piano
Text:
Swedish Musian spends six months teaching rescued octopuss to play the piano - Now they Jam everyday
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