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Dalí Parton

@free-or-best-offer.bsky.social
282 followers 476 following 1.7K posts

// profile alt text: two women arguing: "I can change!"; "You'll still be you."

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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
as white man, I can reliably report that facial hair means more questions at borders
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The heavy-handedness of TV Glow didn't always work for me. But Camp Miasma went even heavier-handeder, and it really worked for me.
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USER WAS BLOCKED FOR THIS POST @blockedforthispost.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
is it possible to bait the "user was blocked for this post" account into posting whatever i want?
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I was so bored by my own thoughts, I stole yours
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
Saint Peter at the pearlies said skill issue
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Toolbox Talks, with Phil Phillips & Robbie Robertson, and sometimes their friend Allen
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Dalí Parton
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Still don't have the 1967 50-cent Wolf, so if you wanna scam my credit card, that's how I'm a mark
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
head start on this discourse: you really shouldn't be filming any woman who's a month post-partum, like yeah Elizabeth Holmes seems unhinged, she's living with an infant
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
why when I shake a Gatorade, it stays exact same? Doesn't seem natural.
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
#CDNpoli, FYI: we're seeing "Lake America" on Canadian websites because the tech supply chain is almost entirely US-based
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Cisterhood of the travelling transphobia
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Ai-ready bidet at enterprise scale
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
upgrade subscription for better toilet
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
get out the volk
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Québec election is on, Fréchette signs going up in Montréal, even arrondissement CAQ won't win #QCpoli
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Sources close to empire collapse say Alberta now negotiating with Iran
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
I am being told the discourse is at capacity, and we should all revert to our default takes. Cyclists please assemble to the front of the room. Recently out queers, we'll be meeting at the vegan co-op. If you're still in line to have a take, then please STFU until business hours Monday.
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
I'm 3 for 3 this summer in saving precarious baby pigeons, but these next 2 gonna be hardest of all
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
i get that she's willingly adjacent to all the bad shit, but please be skeptical when the villain du jour is a woman
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
gonna get GLP-3 before we get GTA6
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
wait is it not a Cis Man thing to see a dress and wish it fit you
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Teenage Sex & Death At Camp Miasma was silly, then sapphic, then the sex was a metaphor for death, then the death was a metaphor for sex
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Elon is epic bacon, the longest thread in the history of sock puppets, still unread by an actual human after 48 months
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
in the sound bath, checking myself for vocal ticks
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
hyperpop remix of free free free palestine
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
love the organizer who put the black drumline in front of the rhythmless bankers clacking fans
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
the corporate pride floats dont even hire a dj, they just play "gay mix (CLEAN)"
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
nothing worse than a good first impression
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
hear a lot about women who think they can fix a man, but don't hear much about all the men who think a woman can fix them
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
We're all 38yo, so the algorithms hit us with the Who Remembers When and Feel Old Yet content. Don't engage!! Nostalgia is an on-ramp to fascism.
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
are we gonna call it AI/11 or 9/AI?
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
hardest part of quitting smoking is wanting to live
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
cuck tales a woo ooh
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Gaylor Farms
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
clickbait at least told you What Happens Next, but now engagement slop is all IYKYK
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Every other hour, I pass a cat castle in the street garbage, and I think of The Weatkerhans
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, AI optimized
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
again, I'm not "boycotting" travel to the US --- I'm afraid of it #CDNpoli
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
20 years ago, Social Conservative Fiscal Liberal was an absurd 30 Rock bit, but now it's just the explicit policy of mainstream centrists
30 rock screenshots, 1st panel Jack asks "Dennis, what are your politics?", 2nd panel Dennis replies "social conservative, fiscal liberal"
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
is this restaurant gonna serve cunt or
photo of closed restaurant, with lower windows blocked by butchers paper and masking tape, and new logo above: 1001, where the 0 is stylized to not join at the bottom, and to include a clit-like button in its upper centre
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Speculative fiction: AI gone the way of pigeons. Agentic mac minis litter the streets, domesticated but abandoned --- "just rats with RAM"
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
hardest part of quitting smoking is wanting to live
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 18/07/2024
if you don't know the current minimum wage in your province, then your opinion on tipping is *not* needed. Just tell your politicians to give people more money #CDNpoli
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
in 1835, Tocqueville saw the supreme court for what it still is: aristocrats who can self-destruct the entire country with a few votes
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
To the tune of Dragula
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Six Sigma Sweeney
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
RTO was for the unchecked tall privelege
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Pollyanna Wintour
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Dalí Parton @free-or-best-offer.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
in the mundane era of the climate apocalypse, where it rains for weeks on end, an inconvenience we'll come to long for
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