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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan

@flingsmash.bsky.social
18 followers 16 following 782 posts

he/him. Never seen Scott the Woz

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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Don’t trust rainbow bagels. Not in a homophobic way, that’s not my concern. But I have no idea what each of these parts tastes like. And that’s what worries me. There are too many colors.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Pluto TV is like the evil version of Tubi
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
People don’t name their kids Trevor no more
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Does anyone know if Cedar Point accepts Mom Bucks
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Uh yeah lemme get drunk off the fuckin.. orb.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
As opposed to regular Buzzballz, which look like a mature drink for refined folk
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Did you just post a fucking melt on r/grilledcheese?
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
@tacobell.bsky.social My daughter Penelope ate one of your Chalupa Supremes and got hit by a bus can I get a refund
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“Nothing ever happens” guy playing roulette but the ball landed on the one space labelled “Something” instead of “Nothing”
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
*Nods disrespectfully toward you*
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Stop! This is SimplySafe. We are sending a fighter jet to your location.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
They made a bar for Bluesky users 👇
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
From what I understand the new Daily Wire movie is mostly the producers depicting Muslims doing the things the producers wish they could do themselves
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
No one ever stops in the name of love anymore
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
#Kony2026
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The new Friday the 13th series is straying too far from the grounded perspectives of the film series, like when Jason punched that dude’s head off or when he crashed a space ship into the station and killed like a thousand people
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
So nobody was gonna tell me that “fake nickname in quotes” was a burnerverse thing? I’ve had this display name for years and people probably thought “FlingSmash Champ” was my frat nickname.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
This whole “UK might be breaking up” thing is a whole big plot to try and get them more medals at the 2028 Olympic Games
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The elites are trying to convince you that there was a movie in the 1990s called Practical Magic
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
My dad missed his early morning flight on 9/11. Luckily he was able to get the next flight to LaGuardia and he made it to the 2004 U.S. Open finals on time.
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Reposted by Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan
Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
The Radio be like plz Orem put Da guns Down 🙏🏻 OK up next is The Ballad of Brigham Young
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Mythra kid real
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This is what Zelda will look like by 2014 👇
Screenshot of the Ocarina of Time remake
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Dr. Zomboss I voted for you and I love you but we are not sun and plant independent. We are having a hard time getting brains for the Gargantuars in Neighorville
Some bald chud Facebook homonculus
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Hi excuse me sir you left your knife in my chest can you please take it with you
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
A Plants vs. Zombies fan turned Peashooter into a "baddie" and the internet has gone feral
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Ain’t no way three Jeopardy Masters contestants just failed to name Ontario with a map
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
me and my friends would’ve killed Liberty Biberty with hammers I can tell you that much
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
If anyone cares I got one of the Chorus Kids from Rhythm Heaven living with me and he’s chill as hell
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Can you rotate this in your mind
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I hate when restaurants have AI images on the menu because then you can’t even see the salmonella on the lettuce or the fiberglass in the beef
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
> USA has “I” message > China has “We” Chat Hideo Kojima, you’ve done it again.
Hideo Kojima with his hand on his chin
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
As sad as the deaths of Dolly Parton and Tim Curry are, it’s important to remember that people who aren’t famous make up the vast majority of dead people
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Reminder that nothing on this account is to be taken seriously except for the things you agree with
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
I remember when Enes Kanter got his citizenship and made a big deal about adding Freedom to his name and the within months he was tweeting at Jeremy Lin asking him to condemn China. Like he really fell into the American tradition of harassing Asian people quickly
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
(Spending premium on college football tickets) Yes, and let me meet James Madison while you’re at it.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
“If Peter Pan was created today he would be a Chinese-American from Cupertino.” -J. M. Barrie
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I’m fine with America A and America B, but I hate America C: Starfish, guacamole, Beverly Hills 90210, Rick Ross, The Christian Science Monitor, Raleigh, lighthouses, barbecue sauce, Princeton University, Santander, Bakugon, No Man’s Sky, toothpaste, LinkedIn, Starburst, Benihana, and rock climbing.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
My name is Newark Smith and I am from Jersey City
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I am Asian American and this is my story It is about an Asian woman with a strict mother and also the other kids at school made fun of her smelly lunch and Also there are no stakes
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
@mcdonaldsjp.bsky.social the cashier at your Watertown New York location has three eyes and it is very distracting please address this immediately
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I only want to see Nikki at Universal Horror Nights if she’s accompanied by a Film Viewer who explains that she is a victim and that Bear is the real villain, whenever Nikki does her scary possessed stuff
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
The tray of hot dogs from Weapons will appear at Halloween Horror Nights this year (Variety)
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Slot machines will pull out all the jingles and lights and flares and shit for a win and the whole time you’ve won $2.10
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
I tried to buy a sandwich outside of New York and they said it wasn’t allowed
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
My maggot- and mealworm-based restaurant is failing to get off the ground because everyone thinks my advertisements are AI-generated
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Why the fuck are you “going to the movies” when there are bad guys running around in real life? Stop it.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Now hiring: 2 open positions. Job responsibilities: - Fan me with giant peacock fans - Feed me grapes by hand - Hold trays of hors d’ouvres for me to sample Please indicate if you are interested.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
P=NP never made any sense to me. Just set N=1. P can be whatever your heart desires now.
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Byron “FlingSmash Champ” Kan @flingsmash.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
You should never call someone’s job fake. All jobs are fake. What the fuck is an upholsterer
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