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Salt Water

@findyourharbor.bsky.social
31 followers 24 following 823 posts

Have you lost someone you can't live without? Salt Water is a blog, online community & resource for those who are grieving. www.findyourharbor.org

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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
For rushing past too much of your life, moments you thought would come again and those you came to appreciate only in hindsight, I forgive you. For saying yes when you wanted to say no needed to say no, prioritized something or someone that didn’t matter or didn’t care. findyourharbor.com/pardon/
findyourharbor.com
Pardon | Salt Water
For doing one last task then running consistently five minutes late when the kids were small, I forgive you.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
"There is so much of those early weeks that I do not remember. I wonder now if you, too, went searching all over the house for her, not finding her. I did not need to wonder whether you were grieving her. I knew. Your person was gone." findyourharbor.com/our-girl/
findyourharbor.com
Our Girl | Salt Water
You’re patiently waiting, tail moving almost imperceptibly. You glance my way every now and then as I go about our nightly routine. Turn off lights, plug in phone, set alarm, turn down comforter. Slid...
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I walk to find the stillness, molecules of time away from the shattering. The solitude interrupts my sadness, creating space where I can begin to make sense of my out-of-order loss, keep moving into this aftermath life & find a way forward without my son. findyourharbor.com/walking-thro...
findyourharbor.com
Walking Through Grief | Salt Water
The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment. Thich Nhat Hanh
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
"He was of course, a piece of the sky. His eyes said so. This is not fact: this is the other part of knowing something, when there is no proof. Neither is there any way toward disbelief. Imagine lifting the lid from a jar and finding it not filled with darkness but with light."
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
"A lot of what is happening in grieving is actually not about verbal processing,” said Mary-Frances O’Connor, author of 'The Grieving Body.' Walking & running saved me after Jimmy died. To find an E-Motion group near you, click the link in the comments. wapo.st/4gxsY6P
wapo.st
How these people used exercise to cope with unbearable grief
Scientists are beginning to study the ways that exercise can help bereaved people navigate loss.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
"Perhaps part of the healing is lying in the darkness, sitting with that black grief, absorbing the magnitude of all that is lost. Maybe there's no way to get to gratitude without that. To a place where the remembering is even possible ..." findyourharbor.com/a-box-full-o...
findyourharbor.com
A Box Full Of Darkness | Salt Water
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift. Mary Oliver
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
"Just as each of us love & grieve uniquely so, too, are the answers we offer to the burning question we most want to avoid. Crafting a response takes time and practice. We make mistakes and try again. We determine how much we want to reveal and to whom." findyourharbor.com/the-choice/
findyourharbor.com
The Choice | Salt Water
I carry his presence with me back inside like a lit votive around which I am cupping a hand to keep the moment alive. James Crews
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
"I started to notice just how quiet our house had become. The way the silence seemed to swell with his absence. The missing notes in our family’s symphony. Jimmy’s laughter mingling with Dan’s ... His baritone blending with Molly’s higher pitched voice ..." findyourharbor.com/the-sounds-o...
findyourharbor.com
The Sounds Of Loss | Salt Water
The sea of grief has no shores, no bottom; no one can sound its depths. Primo Levi
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
"And I didn’t go buy fireworks today. Not yesterday, either. Nor will I buy them tomorrow because you will not be here to light them. I realize now what I loved about fireworks was how much you loved them ..." ~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer ahundredfallingveils.com/2025/07/03/i...
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
"Although everyone’s expiration date is stamped somewhere, in a place we cannot see, most of us will never notice the end coming, not knowing when or how we’ll leave the world what will remain undone, unsaid, unresolved when we go." findyourharbor.com/expiration-d...
findyourharbor.com
Expiration Date | Salt Water
Every year without knowing it I have passed the day. When the fires will wave to me. And the silence will set out ... W.S. Merwin
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
"When his cup of cranberry apple juice arrived, I quietly put it into the drink recess on his tray and returned to my book. Thirty minutes later, I bolted upright as icy cold liquid cascaded down my left leg and began pooling at my feet. findyourharbor.com/kindness/
findyourharbor.com
Kindness | Salt Water
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
"I knew that the pain of losing Jimmy would be searing, no matter when or how it happened. But there, in the dark, I vow to make it worth the pain. To fight like hell to keep him alive as long as I can. To be present for all those sweet moments of ordinary joy." findyourharbor.com/enough/
findyourharbor.com
Enough | Salt Water
There in the dark, he asks if it was really worth it. Were the instants of joy worth the stretches of sorrow? Were the moments of beauty worth the year of pain?  V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Add...
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
"It’s all such a mess— how immaculate the house is now. All I want is you tracking muddy bootprints across my life. Come back, fix this with my missing shoelaces. Why did I care that we were walking on salt? Come home. I will call it the beach." ~ Megan Falley substack.com/@andreagibso...
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
"To join the Parents of Dead Children club is a twisted privilege. An honor you’d happily give up to have your baby back. You are the stuff of other people’s nightmares, yet how much less rich your life would be without these astounding souls." findyourharbor.com/the-club-no-...
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
"In that place with no coordinate on anyone’s map but mine, the energy of our shared particles still dancing between us. The meeting point between the mundane and the divine. The place where Jimmy will find me whenever I let that last breath go." findyourharbor.com/the-thin-pla...
findyourharbor.com
The Thin Place | Salt Water
“’They’re never far from us, you know.’ ‘Who?’ I asked. ‘The dead. No more’n a breath. You let that last one go, and you’re with them again.’” William Kent Krueger
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
It's impossible to describe the body blow of hearing 'There are no more treatments to try' spoken about your 21-yr-old son...yet as poet Andrea Gibson wrote just before her death, happiness really is easier to find once you realize you don’t have forever to find it. findyourharbor.com/stilling-time/
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
"Twelve years on, my brain has finally come to terms with the reality of his death, yet even now I struggle to make sense of it. The here replaced with the no longer. The symmetry of our family forever gone. The missing piece I have tried so hard to find." findyourharbor.com/the-missing-...
Puzzle of sky blue pieces with one piece missing
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
"This week has been difficult for no particular reason. Well, that's not true– my children are dead. That's the reason." ~ Liane Cooper findyourharbor.com/she-came-any...
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
"Gone child. Ghost child. My beloved boy. Talk to me. Tell me where the dead go. Visit me. Break bread with me. I'll make you what you love. Crab cakes & chocolate chip cookies. I'll even let you lick the spoon ..." findyourharbor.com/ghost-child/
findyourharbor.com
Ghost Child | Salt Water
Whatever I am doing, wherever I am, I am thinking: Where is he, where is he? He can't just have vanished. He must be someplace. All I have to do is find him. Maggie O'Farrell
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
My husband and I both got tattoos in honor of our amazing son, Noah. He was always so loving and happy, and he would want us to stay positive. The SE Victory tattoo is a tribute to his gaming family Smokeless Empire. ~Melissa Griffin 💚 Noah Skylar Lear, 7/13/99 - 3/16/16 #tattoosoflove
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
My daughter's name is Jemma. Jemma means "precious gem." Gemstones are formed in the dark and brought into the light where we can witness their beauty. The thing is, their beauty remains–whether or not they are seen.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
This is a photo of the Post-it Notes I have kept since Rory was a little boy. I had one traced to remind me every morning of his love. He was my only child & died in his sleep 4 yrs ago from a genetic heart defect we never knew about. I look at it all the time. ❤️ S x ~Sharryn #tattoosoflove
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
My son Andrew valiantly battled heart disease from a young age, enduring 2 defibrillator implant surgeries & died on the football pitch at just 15. A committed player for Salvesen Community Football Club & devoted Hearts fan, his love for football was his defining attribute.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
When our daughter Nicole was killed in an accident right after Christmas 1998, it was a loss so deep I believed I wouldn't survive. The event caused me to feel like a prisoner in my pain. Trapped. But when I thought about Nicole’s life & how free she was, I became determined to follow her example.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
This was my brother Anthony's signature. I got it on his birthday, one month after he passed away. The blackbird represents the song, Blackbird, which my mom always says was "his song". ~Lana #tattoosoflove
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
Mason & I had been talking about getting our 1st tattoos together. When he was killed in a car accident at 20 in April 2019, I knew I would follow thru for him. My 1st tattoo, done just a few months later, states the reality of my feelings with his "wings around my heart.”
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
My daughter and I got matching tattoos. This is my son’s fingerprint (blown up) and his actual writing. The artist made a stencil from Pike’s handwriting and traced it. ~ Mica Refit Dallas #tattoosoflove
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
I had some of the message from the last card I had from Rory tattooed onto my arms. On one side, he thanks me for being the best mum ever. The other side where he panics because he bought the wrong card and once home just scores it out to be mother’s day instead of birthday.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
My husband Nate's dad died suddenly & unexpectedly at 60 on August 7, 2017. Nate got this tattoo in honor of his family crest which means "for the king." His family is Irish. We were able to find the crest that matched his family's. ~Aja Oakman-Mahaffey #tattoosoflove
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
My son Carson passed away aged 13 on the 12th April 2019. He is my first son! The song lyrics "I'll be living one life for the two of us" gave me hope as I know he would want me to keep living and keep him alive with me!
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
I never thought I'd be brave enough to get a tattoo & I never thought I'd be brave enough to live without my big brother. Together forever, always watching out for his baby sister. Two skullconuts, one for me & one for Rudy, though he's no longer here in the physical world ..
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
i have a craving to get tattoos now & they all circle back to Max in some way. he loved tattoo art & was working on a sleeve. we talked about it all the time, sharing images of what he liked, how he wanted it to look. he ran out of time, time that he should have had, time that was his.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
The 1st tattoo is the exact tattoo my son had on the same arm. I had the woman who gave it to him do mine after he passed away. I have dedicated my right arm to all things Taeven- I have added stars because I feel like he is somewhere way out in the universe his name ...
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
My 1st loss-related tattoo was my mom’s last words to me on my wrist. From there, I have looked for other ways to express my love & imprint reminders of her & others I’ve lost, on my body. Here’s the latest one ... it's inspired by a photo of my mom on our last family holiday.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Christian was 17 years old when he died by suicide. It was something we never saw coming and was a punch in the gut to everyone. August 23, 2017 was the day my son took his last breath. It was the day my life turned upside down, and I had to fight to stay alive.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
My dad died on 8/31/10 from cancer at the age of 54. I was holding his hand when he passed away. He was my hero. He wrote this in the last birthday card he gave me on my 26th birthday, two months before his death. I LOVE that I have his handwriting and loving words on my wrist.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
“I don’t shy away from the fact that my brother is dead, he killed himself when he was 17 & try to make that a more natural conversation people don’t have to get uncomfortable about & don’t have to get afraid of.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
My mom was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2001 & had a double stem cell transplant. There was a 4% chance she would survive. She wrote my sister, brother & me each a note that she asked to be given to us if she didn't make it. She lived 17 beautiful years after her double stem cell transplant.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
I lost my son Michael in 2013. Got my tattoo in 2014. My husband hated it: too much black, but I was so lost in the darkness. In 2019, I was ready to emerge into the light & I decided it was up to me to find the beauty in my sadness.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
My husband Robert and I were married in March 2011 at San Francisco City Hall. He passed away in February 2014. In the last few years of his life, he'd become obsessed with fountain pens, so I knew I wanted to incorporate that into my memorial for him.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
It's 9 years on 16 April I lost my husband of 40 years to cancer. The dragonfly was used by the hospice we were involved with during Mark's illness. Dragonflies symbolize our ability to overcome times of hardship, reminding us to reconnect w/our own strength, courage & happiness.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
I always wanted a tattoo with my 4 sons' names but not being a “tattoo person” it stayed a maybe someday thought. Then my youngest son Macauly died and as a family we got tattoos in his memory. It is true that once you have one tattoo, you begin thinking about having others.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
We were desperate to find a way to connect with Tommy. Katie, Tommy’s sister, suggested we get the same tattoo & drew one on a friend’s ankle. We joked about it, but the thought of getting the tattoo appealed to many of us. ~ Cindy Watanabe #tattoosoflove findyourharbor.com/the-tommy-tat/
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
This is Oliver's footprint on mine. We were blessed to have him on this earth for 487 days. We took Ollie hiking in five National Parks and many state parks. I wore him on every hike. I got this tattoo so I would never hike without my sweet boy. ~ Machelle Chapman Stotts
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
He loved antiques and gramophones, wearing suits, cowboy hats and cowboy boots. The tattoo says "We'll Meet Again" after one of his favorite songs by Vera Lynn. The second tattoo has his signature; the writing below was typed on his favorite typewriter, a Urania.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Caleb always said, "I love you more" and that is his name in the writing when he was five. The 17 butterflies are from smallest to biggest and orange because it's the color of Tennessee Volunteer football. The white butterfly represents the year he left my arms. ~ Chrisy Slate #tattoosoflove
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
I’m not eager to find myself in a black place again any time soon, but I know I am wiser for having spent time under water. Even now..distracted by the detritus of everyday living, the light burns brighter, reminding me how much beauty remains in this life of mine. findyourharbor.com/the-song-of-...
findyourharbor.com
The Song of the Broken World | Salt Water
It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world. Mary Oliver
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
I lost my father (Joe Maxey) to cancer in 1993 & my mother Karen in 2016. I always wanted a memorial tattoo, so after my mom's passing, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. My father worked for the United States Post Office from the late 70s to shortly before he died in ‘93.
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
"Mother, it doesn't matter.” Parker didn't care about money, clothes, his hockey stats. He had the right things figured out at just 18 and lived life true to who he was. He really meant that none of those things matter. That's his signature below the words. ~Rhonda Clarke-Tobin
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Salt Water @findyourharbor.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Two months after I lost my daughter Frankie, I got a tattoo to represent “liminal” from the title of Frankie’s unperformed senior thesis play. Liminal beings have 2 identities (mermaids); liminal periods are rites of passage (weddings): transitions entailing new ways of being.
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