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nalgene merlot

@figuresix.bsky.social
380 followers 372 following 567 posts

welcome to my grand archive of climbing lowlights Please consider donating to www.pcrf.net

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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
From 2010-2018 I was told by teachers and school nurses that if I ever used a public shower while barefoot, I would instantly contract MRSA and explode, basically It came up in conversation and girlfriend MD had no idea what I was talking about Another day in this crumbling simulation
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Sometimes a video is like THIS MISTAKE KILLS CLIMBERS and its big thesis is “always do a Yosemite finish” or something and you think ok, that’s dumb But you can’t make fun of them because what if you somehow die because you didn’t do a Yosemite finish. How silly would you look then
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Top 10 Most Twisted Villains of All Time 1. Candyman (fed honey to a baby)
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
The “guns in medieval settings” debate is so heated that I think some participants are in the wrong hobby. TTRPGs aren’t sparking joy. Maybe what you really want is to study history I say “debate” but I only ever see pro-gun and gun-amenable posts. Who are we yelling at
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Don’t ask me what this was graded or how many tries it took. I don’t wanna talk about it #rockclimbing send skeet
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
One small upside of widespread ai use is that it’s easier than ever to identify businesses that don’t care about nature and don’t deserve your money
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
On Tuesday I commuted on an e bike for the first time and felt like I was living in the future. I don’t think that’s happened on a daily life level since I held a smartphone for the first time
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Well. Annie Jacobsen’s new book is so bad that it’s making me reevaluate whether I took her other ones at face value too much. It’s illustrated with ai and hypes up ai throughout. At one point it refers to a decades-old computer system as ai powered
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
DND shows have some wildly clever players and GMs and it’s sad that they’re marooned on an island owned by AI Strikebreaker Inc. They don’t get to fully branch out in terms of genre, combat, anything “Welcome to our sci fi campaign. My laser gun is magic missile” Please build a raft man
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I swear that move felt a lot bigger in person #rockclimbing Foundation is good. Really thought it would be dense and dry but every time skip had me more invested than the last
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Group bike ride is a fascinating blend of subcultures. You’ll see someone who’s in great shape with a beautiful bike and gear and think ok, hardcore cyclist. Just kidding they’re lighting a cig. Punk
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Ex communication? Uh yeah that’s what I do after 3 beers am I right guys
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
The cafe that used to play alt j is playing beach boys and tom petty. It’s over chat
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
The anchor on Bathtub Mary is diabolical. One hand on a flat ledge, the other trying to clip a mussy hook 3 feet above you and 1 foot behind you. And it’s on a long chain, so if you fail you have to catch it mid-swing on the next attempt #rockclimbing
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Standard horror film that inexplicably ends with the protagonist’s dad appearing and beating him senseless with a set of jumper cables
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
What’s up fellow outdoor enthusiasts? Little reminder as we head into summer: if a tick bites you and there’s a ring around it, that’s just god’s eye looking out for ya
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
I am an ai generated rock climber. I don’t have any draws, trad gear, or belay devices, only an amorphous, writhing tangle of metal. I am on toprope and lead at the same time. I don’t know what the 3rd rope is doing. Please kill me
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
We had an insane professor who urged us to learn skills that would earn us our keep in a post-collapse society Well, he won. I’m learning to use a whetstone and it’s pretty cool He looked and dressed like John Locke from Lost
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Gettin in the tub on Bathtub Mary 11a. There was a huge puddle in there. Shorts and harness were soaked #rockclimbing
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
Stuck my nose in the first nasturtium flower of the year and was confronted with this Scavengers Reign-ass situation
An earwig has crawled deep into the flower and its butt is hanging out like it’s waiting to ambush me
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
Spent 3 rainy days at the Red this weekend. Sent a 10c and topped 2 11a’s on lead. This one is me celebrating near the top of the 10c #rockclimbing
Cutting feet in a ridiculous manner near the top of a vertical sandstone wall
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
My search history on days when I hate my job: Fixing wind turbines jobs Rope access jobs climbing experience relevant Rope access jobs is 30 too old to start Rope access jobs can you listen to music
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
“Get on the train from Snowpiercer” would have been more apt here. We’ll get em next time
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Cutting feet after sticking a massive deadpoint is better than sex 5.10 #rockclimbing
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Trying to be gender inclusive while writing a ttrpg scene set in a gangster’s palace “Gunmen are patrolling…” “Gunpeople are patrolling…” “People of gun…”
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
I love these shoes even though they try to abandon me every time I heel hook These were tall (my 70m rope was barely enough), brand new routes shown to me by one of the bolters. According to him I’m one of the first 5 people to get on them. Pretty neat #rockclimbing
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
The protagonist of every Safdie movie is a guy fighting equally hard to achieve/maintain every level of Maslow’s hierarchy all at the same time
Maslow’s heirarchy diagram
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
The rest of the good pics from this weekend 1. Oyster 10a. Banger route. TRed it years ago. Gave it a go on lead during a 30 minute break between volunteer duties and it went first try 2. The Gate of Divinity, Leesburg, Alabama 3. My humble plot #rockclimbing #camping
Leading a vertical route. Matching a flake in a wide stance 3/4 up. The arete to the left has a nice outline against the sky with a kind of overhanging spike shape at the top. The small roof at the top of the route I’m on is not in frame because I’m an IDIOT Three huge boulders have fallen into a Stonehenge-like archway with a 15 foot passage underneath. The setting sun, not visible, is illuminating the passage. The gate of divinity is an elden ring thing. It’s not funny. Whatever An old green single person tent set up on a cliff edge overlooking a valley. Pillars and ridges of stone, detached from the main cliffline, are visible in the background
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Cops in the x-files be like “we love evicting old people and murdering prisoners in cruel and bizarre ways” And Mulder and Scully be like “that’s crazy. So where did you see the ghost”
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Bacho, an NPC from our Offworlders game He’s a veteran member of Culebra FZA, a shadowy but benevolent group of revolutionaries and activists, and a priest of the Tenik faith, whose name roughly translates as “the strength of the bond of two hands grasping each other.” #ttrpg #worldbuilding
A burly, bald, middle-aged man with a stubbly beard, prominent nose, and large mustache. He wears priestly robes and collar, and a stole with blocky, alien script
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
My buddy Fernando cruising Shrimp Dude 10a. I said I would clean this one and ended up doing so in the rain #rockclimbing
Bottom-up view of a roofed sport route. A guy in a red shirt and black pants is shaking out his left arm from a horizontal position on the roof, supported by a heel hook
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Playing chess on the internet and saying MR HOOVES BE CAREFUL in the chat every time a knight is threatened
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
A tough 10b with two of these leg jam/sitting rests. Goes up the short crack on the right, then the face and arete I don’t recall the name. If anyone is desperate to know I’ll look it up in the ol journal later #rockclimbing
Leading a route on brown and gray sandstone. A long crack runs up the left of the face. I’m sitting down with my entire left leg wedged into it
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
A nice cave/waterfall/sunbeam situation from our hike yesterday This is a 2 mile creek walk/scramble with 1100’ of elevation gain. We have it so dialed now that we accidentally finished in less than 3 hours yesterday and were left wanting more Inclusive climbing event this weekend, very stoked
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
The other day, at the crag, a small animal screamed and something fell from the cliff. We checked it out and found a rat snake that had caught a chipmunk. It had some scrapes but finished eating, slithered right between us, and climbed a tree #wildlifephotography bc I’m proud of pics 1 and 2
A large black rat snake on a horizontal tree branch with a freestanding stone pillar in the backgroundThe same snake on the same tree, raising its head in the sunThe snake right next to our feetA blurry picture of the snake finishing up eating the chipmunk. Only its tail and leg are visible
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Getting ready for wisdom tooth surgery. Last step, placing a crisp 20 under my tongue so they do me up right
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
🧗 Ran into some absolutely baffling grades this weekend. Forcing myself to not care about it Took a lot of good pictures, including a series of wildlife encounters that deserves its own post. Hope you like snakes Tokémon 10+
Leading a route on a wall that faces another wall, with a stripe of blue sky visible between. A bit below the first boltAt the first bolt, about to gain a ledgeStanding on the ledge, getting ready to clip bolt 2
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
The first 1:11 of this would be great as the haunting, ambiguous final scene of a space horror film
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
Over winter I started flaking rope by pulling it over my shoulder. Faster, easier on the arms. Wore a tank top to the gym today, started flaking without thinking Rope burn + L + it looks like a hickey
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
While watching project hail mary I was thinking “huh, astrophage is a climate change metaphor. A black liquid fuel that contains solar energy and makes earth uninhabitable. Oil. Fossil fuel” Uh, no, it was in fact simply plot juice lol
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
🧗 Ahoy matey it be Mutiny V2
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
Sir please step outside… breathe with me… in, out… good… we need to administer a second explosion to your brother, from the opposite side, to reverse the damage #thepitt
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
🧗 Roof inspection
Me hanging from a juggy but chossy roof made of brown rock that looks like dried, cracked mud. Barely off the ground

I’m bored, let’s try to sneak into other feeds
Exercise
Outdoors
Kentucky
Climbing
Mountains
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Guy across the street is visibly drunk and changing a flat tire in the dark. Dry heaving, stumbling, wearing a headlamp, operating a hydraulic jack We only noticed because the dry heaving was loud enough to be heard while watching X-Files
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
🧗 If all goes well I’ll be camping and doing volunteer work for 3 days at an inclusive climbing event next month. Fingers crossed Diamond Cutter 10c
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
I’ve become a bracelets guy in the last year or so but I’m not sure I can become a lots of bracelets guy. Some guys pull it off but it seems like a lot of responsibility
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
🧘 🧗affirmations🧗🧘 No one cares whether or not you flash this unnamed V1 with a weird topout You practice downclimbing and are good at it The best climber in the world is the one with the least broken ankles
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
🧗 An interesting case of a fall where it would have been way better to not have any pads down
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
First of all, these are not “glup shittos” they are some of our most treasured racist stereotype aliens
Thumbnail of a youtube video titled “the essential glup shittos of Star Wars: the phantom menace” featuring boss nass, watto, and nute gunray
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nalgene merlot @figuresix.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
🧗 Minor wasp encounter on the warm up boulder
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