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Michael Figueroa

@figmic.bsky.social
64 followers 129 following 286 posts

Cybersecurity strategist, business process hacker, writer, & parent. A poor kid from a single-parent household who graduated from MIT while also working full-time. Latino by culture, Indigenous by ancestry, American by birth, and patriot by choice.

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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
I held off killing my @washingtonpost.com subscription for a year to support the journalists, hoping that they could right the ship. Then, they were all gone and articles shifted their tone and began using dog whistle phrasing. Haven’t looked back.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
I can now watch my shitty team play shitty, turn good players shitty, and allow violent supporters to continue being shitty, without paying a premium. Vamos, DC United…meh. www.apple.com/newsroom/202...
apple.com
Major League Soccer is coming to Apple TV starting in 2026
Apple today announced that all Major League Soccer matches will stream on Apple TV starting in 2026.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
My high school kid just broke a drum stick playing Rock Band. That’s the way to play.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 12/12/2025
Always on point satire.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
An incredible and damning analysis of how our administration is normalizing death as a tool, regardless of legality or morality. How long before its defenders make it allowable against our own people? Have they already? Is this what they truly believe the USA is? www.nytimes.com/2025/12/05/o...
nytimes.com
Opinion | What Trump Is Really Doing With His Boat Strikes
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Revised headline: “President, facing loss, changes position and prepares to gaslight nation, again.”
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Seeing Christmas decorations up around old San Juan but not yet lit is an indication that Mariah Carey is starting to awaken from cryosleep.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
Swear fealty to the crown and the crown will bestow its favor. This is yet another step is tamping down dissent by essentially requiring those in higher ed to censor the speech of their communities. www.washingtonpost.com/education/20...
washingtonpost.com
Colleges weigh whether to sign onto Trump plan or forgo federal benefits
A new proposal from the Trump administration would give colleges funding advantages if they adopt conservative priorities.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Is it too cynical to think that the federal government has accepted enhanced national security risk to flood the white collar talent market to manipulate supply-and-demand, force longer unpaid hours, reduce compensation baselines, and rehire at reduced expense? www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
washingtonpost.com
National Weather Service at ‘breaking point’ as storm approaches
The National Weather Service is struggling to maintain its weather forecasting operations due to significant staffing cuts under the Trump administration.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
<cough> Bullshit <cough> Just continuing down the pathway towards a fully state-sponsored media environment. Nothing to see here. www.washingtonpost.com/business/202...
washingtonpost.com
Pentagon demands journalists pledge to not obtain unauthorized material
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is imposing strict new rules that would severely limit the ability of journalists to report on the Pentagon.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
Another lost season for DCU. What a waste. #SelltheTeam
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
Disheartening to see people vilifying warfighters for following lawful orders of their Commander-in-Chief in DC. It is wholly inappropriate, and exceedingly dangerous, to ask them to interpret the law themselves before the judiciary acts. Focus angst on politicians and empathize with the soldiers.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
Yes, this.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 17/08/2025
Reinforcing exclusionary narratives, @washingtonpost.com continues to be way too casual about statements like “make its closest approach to the United States” when referring to the mainland while PR and USVI were closer and are certainly part of the USA. www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2025...
washingtonpost.com
Where dangerous Category 3 Hurricane Erin is headed next
Erin became one of the earliest Category 5 hurricanes on record on Saturday. The storm will lash parts of the northern Caribbean on Sunday and Monday.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
Folks across the US unhappy about the Federal intervention in DC can help by pushing for statehood. The vulnerability that is being exploited is the lack of representative control. The mitigation is handing the power to the citizens and their elected officials as the proper check on Federal action.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
I have infinite respect for all of those who have served our nation. Tubman is one of those exceptional warriors who serves as an example of what it means to serve with the courage, intelligence, and sacrifice to defend the values that our nation. www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...
washingtonpost.com
Opinion | Actually, Secretary Hegseth, Harriet Tubman was a war hero
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is wrong to consider stripping her name from the USNS Harriet Tubman.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
I can’t remember ever receiving a press release through one of my government email accounts.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
Congress seems poised to run a basic misdirection/extortion scam. House and Senate Republicans are going to bitch about how bad each other’s bill is to increase the public appetite baseline, then approve something more publicly appealing that is still the worst outcome constituents could imagine.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
I’ve been on a plane for 5 hours. WTF happened in that time? Oh, that’s right, it’s the modern USA. Vamos!
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 03/06/2025
My executive spouse produced a complex machine learning script to perform a cluster analysis of a bunch of unstructured data, complete with a ranked list of differentiating features and visualizations, including a word cloud of distinct categories. In 20 minutes. Never looking at code. Amazing.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
People who pull through angled parking spots should have their licenses revoked.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
I'm curious how many GOP leaders will encourage their kids (or grandkids, as is more likely the case) to trade schools over Ivy Leagues. I'll wait with bated breath.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
There is only one truth. Our truth. www.washingtonpost.com/health/2025/...
washingtonpost.com
RFK Jr. says he may bar scientists from publishing in top medical journals
Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. took aim at reputed journals such as the Lancet and said the agency will create “in-house” publications instead.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
According to the TJ Maxx men’s section, dads play golf, drink whiskey, and charge devices. At least golf includes disc golf - unexpected to see PGA-branded disc kits, though.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
According to the TJ Maxx men’s section, dads play golf, drink whiskey, and charge devices. At least golf includes disc golf - unexpected to see PGA-branded disc kits, though.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
“Let’s pause this conversation so I can find the right meme to respond with.” Modern marriage.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
May the odds be ever in your favor. www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/...
washingtonpost.com
DHS considering reality show in which immigrants compete for citizenship
The competition series was pitched by Rob Worsoff, a Canadian-born writer and producer who was behind A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” and Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker.”
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
Security fundamentals treated as optional. Classic Silicon Valley behavior. venturebeat.com/ai/elon-musk...
venturebeat.com
Elon Musk’s xAI tries to explain Grok’s South African race relations freakout the other day
With its prompts now public and a team of human babysitters on call, Grok is supposedly back on script. But the incident underscores...
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
"And this was how they settled it in the end, for the city was doomed when it took in that horse, within which were all the bravest of the Argives waiting to bring death and destruction on the Trojans."
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 09/05/2025
Loved the Thunderbolts*, but I couldn’t help but see Bob/Sentry as simply a recast Hulk to pair with the recast Black Widow. In the post-credits scene, it even sounded like Bob was worried about releasing “the other guy.” I look forward to the “sun getting real low” in Doomsday.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
National security run by halo effect. What could go wrong?
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
One of my Google Domains, now Squarespace, domains is expiring. I decided it's time to transfer them all. That's the kind of shitty decision that tech people make impulsively with a shrug inner voice statement that "it won't take that long" only to get buried in "I should've seen it coming" issues.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
He keeps saying "my lawyers." Think about that for a moment.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
"Do your own research" has become the go-to conservative directive for ignoring science and seeking out misinformation that best aligns with individual beliefs. Usually, when someone says they "did their research," it means they found evidence online supporting their preconceived arguments.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
Obviously, pretending to be an imbecile is all part of a brilliantly premeditated strategy to confuse the liberals and fake news media. Otherwise, why would it happen so often?
rollingstone.com
Trump Insists Clearly Edited Pic of Abrego Garcia's Tats Is Real in Testy Interview
Donald Trump repeatedly insisted that a clearly edited picture of Kilmar Abrego Garcia's tattoos is real in an ABC News interview with Terry Moran.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
Seeing all the posts from security pros “heading to RSA,” I’m struck by how much I do not miss the rat race and witnessing the inevitable bad behavior. It’s been 15 years since my last trip and I have felt relief every year since.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
Credit the US for making foreign elections major local news. I wonder how many Americans are casting ballots.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
Waiting at the front of the line for the special US pre-customs check in Aruba to open, a woman behind me tapped my shoulder to explain to me how to enter the area to beat the wheelchairs. Her family must live in a Progressive commercial.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Seeing someone carrying a Dunkin’ box on the beach in Aruba is f’n weird. The food is so good and that’s what you go for? Must be from MA.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
I’m vibing. Are you? But, the bigger question playing in mind is whether I’m an expert who knows what they’re doing or a noob who needs to be defended against. Jury’s out.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 06/04/2025
Game it out. Scenario: Flood the job market with tens-if-thousands of new talent. How do you prevent jobs reports from showing the impact? Answer: Claim that they were let go for performance reasons. Then, they won’t weigh down the jobs numbers by successfully claiming unemployment. Genius.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
This will go down into the cybersecurity history books. I don't say many kind things about security vendors, but this is an epic job by the content marketing team at Wiz. www.cisomusical.com
cisomusical.com
Home | CISOmusical
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
Hey @altmadison.bsky.social, treat yourself to a nice homemade mocktail. Try this for your Cosmo fix: Lime seltzer (I like Trader Joes Lime Sparkling Water), a splash of cranberry juice, & a dash or two of bitters (like grapefruit for some zing). That has helped seen me off alcohol & lose weight!
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Reposted by Michael Figueroa
Jeff D @je7f.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
Imagine if an "administrative error" by this president would result in someone you love being imprisoned / deported.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
How to eliminate dissent in the US, according to this administration: - Revoke residency, student visas, or protected status. - Apprehend without cause. - Disregard judiciary review. - Deport without due process to a slave prison. - Refuse to return victims of proven improper actions. About right?
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
The biggest news in the Avengers: Doomsday cast is...Channing Tatum!
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
The 5 Is are now 4. There’s no way in hell our allies are going to share time-sensitive operational intel with the US now. Our OPSEC is most definitely not clean.
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
So much love for this article. It would only be better if titled, “Did Keira Knightly in ‘Bend it Like Beckham’ turn our kids gay?” That’s a question that deserves thorough examination.
vogue.com
Are We All Gay Now Because of Keira Knightley in ‘Bend It Like Beckham’?
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Michael Figueroa @figmic.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
If the Dems were in control of Congress and the Presidency, they would be calling for an investigation and heads would be rolling. Just sayin’
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Reposted by Michael Figueroa
Pete Buttigieg @petebuttigieg.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
From an operational security perspective, this is the highest level of fuckup imaginable. These people cannot keep America safe.
theatlantic.com
The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans
U.S. national-security leaders included me in a group chat about upcoming military strikes in Yemen. I didn’t think it could be real. Then the bombs started falling.
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