fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 12/10/2026if you're one of those drivers that worry if their wipers are going too fast in the rain, just know that I saw you & yes you looked like a pussy 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 09/10/2026about a decade ago i made a dummy facebook account under the name peter griffin (to link to a mobile game and get rewards) and to this DAY i get daily spam calls and texts asking for peter 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 02/10/2026sharing the lockscreens i made here bc it turns out practice really does make perfect 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 30/09/2026remember your real enemy: the people who had cats in this apartment before you 101
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 27/09/2026i was trying to get into my husband's pants & this fucker puts matpat theories on the tv. like you could have just said no 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 20/09/2026watching my husband play skyrim for the first time feels like I'm touring him around my hometown. yeah that's adrienne, her man is a smokeshow but she's a total tryhard for her bureaucrat dad. over there is where my horse died bc i jumped off a cliff, poor guy didn't stand a chance 001
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 14/09/2026thinking about the time my sister caught her boyfriend cheating bc she asked to borrow his laptop and he was looking at eharmony dot com 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 13/09/2026i will die on the hill that anyone who hates tea has simply never had a london fog 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 10/09/2026calories don't count if you shoplift all your groceries 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 04/09/2026why on earth did liquid death make soda flavors. it's literally just watered-down soda. who is this for 100
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 27/08/2026it's cool seeing someone i haven't seen since I was a kid. i ignored him in the grocery store, but still 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 07/08/2026love that place where aladdin lives. agoraphobia 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 03/08/2026babe wake up guitar center closes at 9pm and if we don't leave right now i won't have time to slowly plink out the first 4 minutes of stairway to heaven over the next 7 hours 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 20/07/2026while we're at it, why the fuck can't etsy and spotify handle apostrophes 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 17/07/2026mustard is awesome but only to people who eat pussy 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 14/07/2026i love when im watching a show and i make an offhand comment that ends up being the next line of dialogue. i start cheering like i scored a point 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 10/07/2026man i love that cartoon about the singing lesbian rocks. steven uterus 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 07/07/2026girlhood at 27 is sharing a stretching goal on finch that neither of you ever complete 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 16/06/2026if ur gonna infiltrate a ren faire with ur 3d printed garbage, you can at least SAND IT 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 19/05/2026i need to meet more weirdos. I wanna have a boob themed party and call it a mammboree 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 13/04/2026just remembered my 10th grade english teacher, who once found a sweater outside of her classroom and kicked it down the hall and into a trashcan bc it was ugly 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 11/04/2026gonna start a honey roasted peanuts brand and call it bee's nuts 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 07/04/2026what kind of flipper foot homunculous do you have to be to insult lean beef patty to her face 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 29/03/2026secretly adding 1 inch to my height every time i renew my license 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 23/03/2026crown the head lice on the highway or whatever elton john said 010
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 16/03/2026'pantsing' someone, also known as a reverse wedgie, 001
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 07/03/2026say what you want about the animals communicating w those buttons but I will never forget the golden retriever that wanted her mama to play guitar and asked her to pick up the "birds stick" 010
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 04/03/2026do you think it would work if you farted into a kazoo 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 02/03/2026how tf do you have conversations with 40yo men. should I quote bruce lee 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 27/02/2026my favorite part of guitar lessons is when the guy starts showing me something and then just gets lost in it for like a solid 30 seconds. you go babygirl let ur hair down 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 14/02/2026gonna try getting abducted on purpose in order to john wick the entire galactic federation 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 16/01/2026a pedophile became president and now my husband could get shot at work and his family could get bombs dropped on them. loving this time we're in 011
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 05/12/2025if I don't want someone in my life anymore i should be able to scrub their brain of all the cool stuff i got them into 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 29/11/2025a ninja sex party concert, but this time they let ninja brian throw black eggs at hecklers 110
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 20/11/2025hypothetically speaking, how does one learn guitar and piano/synth and bass and music theory all at the same time 110
Reposted by fazziebibleboi666 @alexxfoxx.bsky.social · 13/11/2025for the entirety of me being 27 i will be carrying a white lighter just in case 031
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 12/11/2025it's not fair that I only get to marry my husband once. I would marry him every day if I could 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 05/11/2025i sure hope misha collins has discovered the wonders of aquaphor by now 000
fazzie @fazzieultraviolet.bsky.social · 28/10/2025i hold no allegiance to anyone like i do with some random alt girl on tiktok that taught me how to do eyeliner 000
