iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

This is, like, literally me at work if anyone even cares. The break room is always stocked and the secretary likes when I stop by and chat with her when I grab donuts every day.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 18h

Somewhere along the way 'too fat for clothes' became 'too fat for normal furniture,' then 'too fat to move,' then just too fat to measure normally. Then you hear 'visible from space.' You never knew it was possible. If you could still curl your toes in delight, you probably would you glutton.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Who put that donut in your hands? "Beelzebub did, Beelzebub did!" Who made you so fat you split your pants? "Beelzebub did, Beelzebub did!" Gotta deny and tell those lies. Out of control? Couldn't be you. It's the lord of the flies. Temptation was always there, you just couldn't resist.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

The unnerving realization that every slice of pizza, every cookie, every 48 oz cup of soda has lead you to here. The cusp of immobility. Too big to even leave your house. And yet, the only thing you want to do right now is order pizza...

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Only a professional fatass could manage such a feat.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Ding, your Doordash is here. And now you have to to put your faith in the strength of your apartment's old ass elevator, knowing you passed the 'Weight Capacity: 400lbs' limit months ago. You could take the stairs, but we both know you won't. You're hopeless.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

They're calling him 'The Fattest Bat They've Ever Seen' and he does NOT like that label because it's accurate.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Sorry boss, I woke up 1,000lbs and can't even get up from bed. I won't be there on Monday.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

My fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it. 🥲

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Like flies to a fly trap in the comments, lmao

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RoundedPentagon @roundedpentagon.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Hey what if he got fatter hey what if, hey guys what if he got fatter

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Fat gamer lion hours. Need a comm of Cookie, wine drunk and eating his second pizza of the night while playing TF2

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Your betrayal was obvious in hindsight: "Your majesty, the roast duck is divine, you must have some." "Your highness, you shouldn't burden yourself, I shall do it for you. Just relax." "Eat this slice of cake from my paw, piggy. I shall take over your boring responsibilities for you. Just eat."

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

DR: "Nurse?" Sweetgreen: "Severe obesity with respiratory compromise and advanced insulin resistance. Glucose, 256mg/dL..." DR: “Stomach?” Sweetgreen: “Very distended. Still under immense pressure. I hope that buffet binge was worth it, girl. Congrats on the cardiometabolic decompensation."

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

They're calling him 'The Fattest Bat They've Ever Seen' and he does NOT like that label because it's accurate.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

As long as you don't eat all my egg rolls. 😤

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

asdfg You didn't have to tell everyone what happened...

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I wanna eat at the chinese buffet until I’m a beached whale of a lion blob. Laying on my own belly between the orange chicken and lo mein trays, face smeared with sauce and grease; belching uncontrollably and whining that I’m so fucking stuffed~

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Life is about upgrades. The old Chinese buffet I used to go to in college didn't have waitresses refill my soda every time I get up to get more food. Now if only they could bring me the food too... 🥴

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

A second lawsuit has hit our Supersize option.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Gurl you gonna get the fat disease if you keep biting people.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Je suis un chauve-souris cochon. 🐽 Oinque oinque~

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HOG HORROR @hoghorror.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Anon Comm Been slowly but steadily chipping away at owed work Poor guy wasn't prepared for something so inconsequential to those of a normal bmi...

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I came looking for silver; I found gold.

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

They're both being put on a pedestal for your collective observations. 🤭

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Luke☕ @fattydragonite.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

You know that Wyvern that eats here three times a day? He always asks for you whenever you're not at work, and when he does there's this always this smile on his face ✨ For my friend @nighthunterad.bsky.social

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Ｏｚｚｙ @fatunatecookie.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

All of my OCs have a favorite band, which are based off of some of my fave bands irl. Cookie - Brand New Ozzy - AFI Sweetgreen - The Mountain Goats Émile - Doesn't care for music.

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