iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Dear citizens of the NY-8, Can anyone explain what Jeffries has done to earn your votes? The man has all the charisma of a humanoid wet wipe. Is it really so hard to field another option in the primary? #HakeemJeffries

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Every year on 9/11: NYPD Chief: We will never forget 9/11. Me: You better not, it's your phone number.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

All these motherfuckers who are comparing Elizabeth Holmes to Gadget from Rescue Rangers better fucking stop. Don't you put that evil on her. She is a queen and she will be treated with respect or I will cut a bitch.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

The Big Lie of neoliberal economics is that profits fuel the economy and taxes remove money from it. The truth is the exact opposite. Taxes fuel government spending which adds to the GDP. Profits just line the pockets of the oligarchs.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Can someone turn down the heat on the Earth's hot girl summer?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

Every time a celebrity dies, I think to myself, "Damn there goes someone else living my dream."

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

Happy Friday. May the dumpster fire inside of you burn brighter than the dumpster fire around you.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

Rewatching Muppets Treasure Island. The Internet, justifiably, makes a big deal about how good Tim Curry is. Not enough attention is given to Billy Connelly's performance.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

Am I the only one who dislikes using the medium sized pot, because it's too small for the big burner and too big for the small burners?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 04/02/2026

After that Kid Rock performance, we all owe Ashlee Simpson an apology.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

Should I be concerned that I keep seeing ghosts with ghostly versions of myself saying "... And this is what you will become."

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

After participating in The Masked Singer, are the contestants technically now furries?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

Me: Why are all the heros in my fantasy books like 18? (Gets up and body doesn't move correctly) Me: Oh, yeah.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 18/10/2025

Just picked up my copy of the hardback edition of For Whom the Belle Tolls by @sea-ya-later.bsky.social. It is so gorgeous and I can't wait to read it. Also picked up Aurora Volume 1 by Red from OSP. Now for the difficult part. Deciding which to read first.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

I'm not a not a Taylor Swift fan, but the glee in this article is barely disguised. Journalistic objectivity at CNN is clearly long dead. share.google/BtC4MWxsTBWW...

share.google

Finally, everyone can say bad things about Taylor Swift | CNN

It’s finally open season on America’s sweetheart. Even the fans are finding “Life of a Showgirl” rough going.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 04/10/2025

You know you're in for a hell of a day when you leave your apartment to get breakfast and find that a grown ass man shit themselves while waiting for the elevator.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 25/09/2025

In rewatching Mythbusters, I forgot just how much of the comedy was Tori hurting himself doing something dumb.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 16/09/2025

I demand beans in my chili, because I will not live in a world where I agree with Texas.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

Trix cereal is now advertising that it turns the milk a "mystery color". Is the color a mystery because they don't tell us the color beforehand or because science has yet to explain what the color is or the chemical process from which it is derived?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 24/08/2025

"It's an acquired taste" is the culinary equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 12/08/2025

Just saw a story that mentioned AI powered weapons. We don't have AGI we have LLMs, which is just predictive text on steroids. Allowing the same tech that thinks I'm trying to text ducking to target weapons is nothing short of suicidal ideation on a species level.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 20/07/2025

That Husky reacted like she was on the Coldplay Kiss Cam.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Isn't the real embarrassment going to a concert that knows it's so boring they had a kiss cam?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

If the morbidity in the morbidly obese diagnosis could kick in any time now, that'd be great.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

The average number of skeletons per human body is greater than one thanks to pregnancies.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

When a crow or raven remembers people who have wronged it it's a sign of intelligence and a cool bird fact. When I exhibit the same behavior I'm an asshole who's being petty.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

People really don't understand evolution. I was speaking to a guy from Australia the other day and he said he was from Darwin.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

I don't understand how rich people can make fun of how poor people dress, when rich people invented fencing. Which is basically a knife fight where the two participants are dressed as sexy bee keepers.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

The one acceptable use of AI, Mirrors. All mirrors should be equipped with AI that detects when you're unclothed and put up a warning like you have on photos on social media that says "This image contains graphic content. Are you sure you want to view it?"

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 23/05/2025

If dust is mainly human skin cells, that would make your roomba carnivorous with a taste for human flesh.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 22/05/2025

Fun fact: nipples are technically straws.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 19/05/2025

It's a good thing I'm not a ventriloquist. I would walk up behind religious people and use the demon voice I do to inflict trauma. I would absolutely use that power for evil.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 19/05/2025

The answer is 3 Billion, what is the question? How many people on this planet would be a better tv announcer that Joe Buck?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

Remember that everyone you see is fighting their own unseen battles. Attack while they are distracted!

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

Alright, time to give blood, or as I like to call it, self-harm for a cookie.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 14/05/2025

As you know, after this year I will be retiring after spending 40 years teaching at this school. Before I go, I just want to say this week, you children have taught me that I have absolutely wasted my fucking life.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

Life is like soccer. My parents signed me up for it without my consent and expect me to be good at it but I'm very bad at it.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

Last week I released a book aimed at 9-12 year olds. I'm proud to say I hit one of the little shits.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

*Pets white cat sitting in lap* "Aah, Mr. Bond ... Welcome to this mandatory course on sexual harassment in the workplace."

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

Doctor: Alright, I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that you'll have to take one of these pills every day for the rest of your life. The really bad news is that I am only giving you three.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

Drivers beware. A bus carrying origami enthusiasts has broken down in the middle of I-35 and they're all sitting on the side of the road making little origami cars. Traffic is described as stationary.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 06/05/2025

I got into a fight with my accupuncturist and stabbed him. He said he's never felt better.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 05/05/2025

The answer is 600 ft, what is the question? If Kanye West was to do bungie jump of 500 ft, what length rope should he be given? If you were to punch Chris Brown in face, how much of a run up should you take?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 05/05/2025

The British royal family is now symbolic, a bit like a sports mascot. The difference being that inside a mascot is a real human being.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

My friend drowned. At his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a life vest. It's what he would have wanted.

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

Why are we doing charity walks for MS? Isn't that kind of rubbing it in?

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

I am very much the thinking woman's man. Mainly they're thinking, "If I go and hide in the bathroom for half an hour, maybe he'll leave."

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Failstaff @failstaff.bsky.social · 04/05/2025

The Royal Family is doing its part to fight climate change by refusing to fly the royal jewels back to the countries they were stolen from.

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