Funiculosus loves cooking - especially for somebody who appreciates it! Not only does he tie me up, but he loves to feed me - and will make me lunch with the flair of a chef and will give me things to take home with me. Sometimes enough food for a week! Lasagna, momos, dhal, egg curry - he keeps adding to the list of deliciousness that he makes for his "puppy".

⚠️ Content warning: BDSM, bondage, sexual activity and sex toys. I am very much the sub. And Funiculosus is very much the Dom. So when he asked if I would mind tying him up, I was quite surprised - but also quite honoured: I was the first ever to do so. I was a bit nervous, and I think he was too - he didn't know what to expect.

At this company dooh-dah about AI, there were various pieces of tatt to help with the discussions - pens and paper for making notes, and stress balls in the shape of brains. Nobody would touch the stress balls because they were in an entrance hall rather than on the tables, however a colleague wanted one so I just picked a brain and gave it to her.

It started with Phil Collins' version of "You can't hurry love" playing in the radio. My mum had a crush on Phil and went to see him in concert a couple of times. By the end of that upbeat song, I had tears in my eyes. Later that day I was messaging my rope master, Funiculosus, and he said something like "it's a moment in space", which reminded me of a line from "Woman in love" by Barbra Streisand.

⚠️ Content warning: catfishing, scams, pornographic images and discussion of sex. Now I'm single, I'm on a few hookup/dating apps. On one of them, the same profile image is used for a variety of accounts. The very handsome Crown Prince of Dubai. I didn't know who he was until the same photo started to appear on different accounts. Sometimes I would actually be having two conversations with the same face.

⚠️ Content warning: heart attack, possible cardiac symptoms, A&E, anxiety, fear of dying. Here I am again: A&E. For a few days now I've felt a little strange. My heart feels noisy in my chest. This morning I went to the gym and had to stop during a light session because I felt light-headed again. Like I did leading up to my heart attack.

⚠️ Content warning: sexual content, hookup culture and references to sex. I was messaged by somebody on Reddit; I thought it was worth capturing along with my response: Hi! I’ve seen some of your comments on the eunuch/orchiectomy discussions and was really interested in your experience. I’m particularly curious about what happened to erectile function, orgasm and erotic sensation after your orchiectomy.

⚠️ Content warning: This post discusses testosterone gel, sex and intimate anatomy. I've tried applying my testosterone gel on various parts of my body besides my shoulders (which is where it's supposed to go) - I've put it on my belly, my chest, my armpits, and my scrotal void. Today I thought it'd try it on my butt, since I have a Gentleman Caller due later and I thought that it would be fun.

Work is stressful. Immovable deadlines. Difficult staff issues. Mandatory strategy days out. The household stresses are lessening. The drains have been fixed for a while now and the insurance has given me a decent settlement for the restoration work. But I am tired. And my headaches have returned. I'm not allowed some of my old migraine medication because they would interfere with my heart medication.

⚠️ Content warning: This post discusses BDSM, bondage, rope suspension, restraint, nudity and subspace. The times I spend with my Dom and friend, Funiculosus, are always sublime. The day started with cuddling - until the dog's squeaks demand that I gave her breakfast! Then we chat for a while. We talked about music and relationship experiences. Then we cooked breakfast. He'd bought Scottish pancakes, maple syrup, and streaky bacon.

⚠️ Content warning: this post discusses BDSM, bondage and restraint, nudity and subspace. Also tacos. Sometimes the kinkiest things are when kink is blended with the mundane. Funiculosus came to stay over. He wanted to cook for me and had chosen to make me crispy tacos filled with fajita spiced pork, and homemade guacamole and salsa. However, since it was still early, we decided to go upstairs to play for a bit.

I'm at one of those company strategy days where you have groups and discussions and then present the groups findings to the wider company. This one is about AI and the risks and opportunities that it presents to us as a business. I was asked to present the results of one of the discussions, which was hilarious for everybody since I was tired and hyper at the same time and high on coffee.

I wonder? I've been feeling very anxious this last week and I've had a migraine. My heartrate and blood pressure are fine - slightly low actually, as a result of the various medications that I am on since my heart attack last year. And that's it I think: the heart attack itself was almost a non-event: lightheaded, numb hands, and a feeling of having indigestion.

In my first experiences as a manager, many years ago, I joked that I rather liked Vader's style of leadership. Not that I could inspire terror in my troops (and neither would I want to), but he was a meme machine of oneline putdowns ("I find your lack of faith disturbing", "I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further", "apology accepted, Captain Needa", "You Don't Know The Power Of The Dark Side!", and "You have failed me for the last time, Admiral").

While I was travelling around Spain I saw a lot of art depicting Saint Sebastian, a supposedly gay saint. I seemed to remember hearing of the existence of a film about him, so I thought I might buy a copy. Once it arrived I thought it might be nice to have my friend Patricius over for a meal, have a look at my travel scrapbook, and watch the film.

I’d not heard from my ex for a couple of weeks, other than a holding text a few days ago. I worry. Care and love don’t stop just because the marriage is over. At least not in this case. I had been thinking of taking some biscuits over, but as I was out on my […]

⚠️ Content warning: this post discusses BDSM, bondage and suspension, including physical vulnerability and intense emotional experiences. And lasagne. Another day with Funiculosus! When I arrived, he poured me a coke and we went to the sofa to connect and catch up on the week. Its been a couple of weeks since we last played together and we both missed it.

Sometimes, not having to consult before spending money isn’t such a good thing. A couple of years ago, my dad affectionately bullied me into getting a two man inflatable kayak. The ex and I had been off a few adventure holidays which had included water adventures – one was a whole week white water in […]

While I was mincing my way around Spain this summer, I had as my constant companion "El Hobbit". There’s not much that’s sexy in The Hobbit – it is, after all, a children’s book. However, the description of one character made the fine hairs on my boyish arms prick up: Standing near was a huge man with a thick black beard and hair, and great bare arms and legs with knotted muscles.

I enjoy

The first sentence immediately got my back up: “The castration complex is a constellation of childhood beliefs that pertain to the drawing of a fixed sexual identity.” Mid-way through the paragraph a footnote indicated a reference. To Freud. Not to research or anything remotely scientific with theories, tests, controls, and the like. Then I was […]

As I’m walking in this rainbow parade merrily protesting our right to live as we choose and celebrating our differences and similarities, I find my mind wandering back to another march I witnessed with Funiculosus earlier this year… We were in London on our second food and kink tourist trip. We’d been warned that there […]

After months of blistering sunshine and hardly a drop of rain, it seemed like three months of water fell from the sky all in the one morning. The morning of Southampton Pride. I had promised myself that I would go because Pride is more important now than it has been for a long time. And, […]

Several months ago I discovered that my brother watched GB News and got a lot of his information from YouTube. Since then we have avoided talking politics – it’s hard to know that somebody supports a political movement that opposes one’s own rights.

Two things happened a year ago this month. One of them a year ago today. A year ago today I had a heart attack! What an unexpected adventure that proved to be. It took months for me to really accept just how poorly I was. I am only now starting to feel a bit off […]

De repented me sentí como el típico amigo hetero qué te dice: «Siempre quite tener in amigo maricón». Suddenly I felt like the typical straight friend that says “I always wanted a faggot friend”. Page 71 – I translated “moricón” as “faggot” to keep the tone of the original. joder = fuck follar = fuck […]

I asked ChatGPT to review my post Cycle before I scheduled it and it came back with a little bit of feedback for readability - as well spelling corrections - a dozen of them! I wrote back to it: I never cease to be amazed that you make sense of my writings! Especially the typos. My poor mum used to have one hell of a time decyphering my text messages.

I took the afternoon off work so that I could enjoy more time with Funiculosus. He was coming over to spend the night so that we could go for a cycle in the New Forest and still have time for some rope play – and he was cooking dinner! Before starting tea, he wanted to […]

I took the afternoon off work so that I could enjoy more time with Funiculosus. He was coming over to spend the night so that we could go for a cycle in the New Forest and still have time for some rope play - and he was cooking dinner! Before starting tea, he wanted to pop to a local supermarket that specialises in middle and far eastern food in order to buy a spice mix that he particularly enjoyed.

After realising that I was simply horny yesterday, I had the good fortune to be approached by someone inviting me to a FOURSOME! Two tops, and one other bottom. This could be fun! Clearly a no strings attached gangbang! I spent a bit of time doing some “housework” (being a bottom is hard work and […]

I’ve been feeling… horny… lately. It’s not something that my existing relationships feel able to deliver – and I don’t want to ask for fear of breaking a working dynamic. I’ve been cruising various dating apps looking for a sexual connection. A playmate, a friend with benefits. I know that I’m not looking for a […]

The other day I was out cycling through the New Forest. The trees are still green, but the land is yellow: every single blade of grass is dead. I do not know what the wild ponies and the dear deer that live in the forest are eating now. For some reason, the poem by William […]

I haven’t posted anything for more than a week! Its unheard of! Why is that? Its that scrapbook! Every evening I am organising photos and memorabilia from my trip to Spain into themes and arranging each page into a pleasing design, such as “Tarragon”, “Street Art”, “Wildlife”. Then I have added comments and stickers just […]

A few times a year I drive to Clevedon in North Somerset to polish my nan and my mum’s memorial plaques on the pier. Mother’s day and the weekends closest to their birthdays. The ritual keeps me feeling connected to them somehow. Its not sad, it doesn’t make me cry, instead it makes me happy […]

I think it BBC was Netflix that I saw the first season of Heartstopper. I quite liked it, but quit Netflix before the next season started. I was the book in a charity shop and picked it up without thinking twice. Illustrated novels are nice because they are just easy to read. The illustrations in […]

So I'm out walking the dog. She sees another dog and she's interested. She speeds up and stops her snuffling, hoping to catch up and say "hello". If its a little dog, its likley to turn nasty (they are gobby little shites, honestly!), if its a larger dog its probably going to be a load of butt-sniffing and a spaghetti knot of leads.

This Spanish holiday is the first time that I've done anything quite like it. Years ago I had to book through agencies (like when I went to Italy for two weeks when I was at Uni), and for our honeymoon I arranged for a few days in Rome and a week in Sicily (and hired a motorbike) - that was fraught because I was having to deal with any mishaps for the husband as well as myself.

I arrived at Funiculosus’ house with Steps’ version of Tragedy blasting through the windows like an elderly boy racer. I was in a good mood. His boyish smile got me into an egg better space. We hugged and he led me to the sofa, where we cuddled for a bit and chatted about our week. […]

I have made a new friend on a new dating/hookup app. I'll call him Calpurnius. He's into Star Trek and food and board games - all things that I am very interested in, however games I have not been able ot play because its a bit difficult to play many games with onky one other person. He is a mountain of a man and makes me feel tiny.

I got back from Spain several weeks ago, but I'm not quite ready for the holiday to end - most people unpack their suitcase and pretty much forget what they experienced. I'm doing the opposite. I have printed hundreds of photos and sorted them into piles. Obvious piles are general things like the cities "Barcelona", "Toledo", etc. I have then taken this I saw and did in each location, such as "Toledo River Walk", "The Aqueduct at Tarragona", and so on.

Last night I had a "gentleman caller". We'd met on Scruff. I'd kinda given up on the idea of sex for the week and had reverted to my prescribed dose of testosterone ... I had also been conducting "systems tests" all week. His profile didn't have much on it other than "versatile" and some photos that revealed a well built chap only slightly older than me.

Charity shops Empty streets Lack of trees England flags (why didn’t Spanish flags say racist or nationalist?)

This time I am not going to debate J.K. Rowling's views on sex and gender here, although I daresay that I will in the future. What caught my attention recently wasn't what she said, but what she chose to do. In July 2026, Rowling posted a photograph of the transgender journalist and campaigner Freda Wallace on X taken at a public event.

I think that almost all of the sci-fi books that I have ever read were written by men. Asimov, Frank Herbert, Arthur C Clarke, Bradbury, to name the most memorable to me. Of course, there is The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is a sci-fi written by a woman that I have read! Apart from Collins, there were no others to my knowledge until I read…

For the first time ever, Funiculosus - my friend and rope master - stayed the night. We were both excited, although he seemed to be more nervous than I was. He usually seems so confident and bubbly, so it feels a bit odd when he admits to nerves. I guess that's just being human - and honest. When he arrived we hugged, fussed the dog, and we set out for the first item on the night's agenda: fish and chips!

After separating from my husband I am slowly populating my world. Some people come into it and have stayed around, whilst others have gone on their way. So its kind of strange that the first new friend that I make since coming back from Spain was, if not Spanish then close enough: Gibraltar! A big bear of a guy with a slight lisp and a direct yet playful way of speaking.

Funiculosus, my rope master and puppy daddy (these are all the same person!) was quite insistent about picking me up from the airport when I got back from Spain. He missed me. I missed him – so I relented and have him the flight details. “Uh. You said you were coming into Gatwick; this is […]

all shapes, sizes, colours, religions, gender expressions save identities and sexualities. felt incredibly safe

After an exhausting afternoon in the Prado, needed to start packing. My big sack was overweight by 8kg. My day bag was stuffed full of toy train for the nephews. I needed to repack and distribute the books and gifts better. I seem to have bought rather a lot! Once the bags were balanced, I […]

bsg scan and have to put it in an office.. no photos The Brazen Serpent – Sebastien Bourdon The judgement of Paris, Francesco Albania – the three women seem to be identical (one has blonde hair and holding a helmet). Peacock, doves, ?helmet? Caravaggio – David with the head of Goliath – David is depicted […]