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Darling Data

@erikdarling.com
470 followers 80 following 759 posts

I will make your #SQLServer faster in exchange for money. linktr.ee/darlingdata

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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 01/10/2026
OPTION (RECOMPILE) walks into a bar. OPTION (RECOMPILE) walks into a bar. OPTION (RECOMPILE) walks into a bar. It never stops walking into the bar. That is the hint. T-SQL That Doesn't Suck: a full day precon at #PASSDataSummit West. passdatacommunitysummit.com/west/
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 29/09/2026
I asked an AI to tune my query. It added DISTINCT, apologized, and said the real index was the friends we made along the way. AI T-SQL gets a segment at my #PASSDataSummit West precon. Where it helps, where it lies. passdatacommunitysummit.com/west/
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 28/09/2026
hell yeah
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 24/09/2026
What's the difference between a table variable and a temp table? One of them has statistics. That's it. That's the joke. It's also why your batch job takes four hours. Full day of this at my #PASSDataSummit West precon: T-SQL That Doesn't Suck. passdatacommunitysummit.com/west/
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 22/09/2026
Knock knock. Who's there? An implicit conversion. An implicit conversion who? Doesn't matter. You're scanning the whole table now. T-SQL That Doesn't Suck, my #PASSDataSummit West precon. Bring your worst stored procedures. passdatacommunitysummit.com/west/
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 17/09/2026
A CTE walks into a bar. Then walks into the same bar. Then walks into the same bar. You referenced it three times. It is not materialized. It will keep walking into that bar. T-SQL That Doesn't Suck: my full day #PASSDataSummit West precon. passdatacommunitysummit.com/west/
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 16/09/2026
Performance Studio 1.26 is out. The UI got a real pass. One icon set instead of emoji, advice as cards instead of a wall of monospace. Plus a stack of bugs I only found because I was in there looking. github.com/erikdarlingd...
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 15/09/2026
Knock knock. Who's there? Your query from this morning. Your query from this morning who? Exactly. Still running. Nobody remembers who it is anymore. I fix this for a living. Full day precon at #PASSDataSummit West: T-SQL That Doesn't Suck. passdatacommunitysummit.com/west/
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 01/09/2026
Heading home. Thanks for the month, Europe. Paris > Azores > Lisbon > Cascais > Faro
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 15/08/2026
Azores! I saw some cows. They didn’t speak much English but they seemed nice enough.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 15/08/2026
when in orly.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 14/08/2026
Au revoir Paris, Vou ser português agora.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 12/08/2026
Well that was fun
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 09/08/2026
Trying to make friends.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 08/08/2026
They named one after me.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 01/08/2026
allez hop!
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 01/08/2026
Goodnight you sleepyheads.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 23/07/2026
14 wins hwg
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 21/07/2026
New album in stores tomorrow.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 16/07/2026
typical sql server code review.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 03/07/2026
This heat has got RIGHT OUT OF HAND!!!
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 16/06/2026
Pre-cons for PASS Summit West are official 🎉 I'm teaching a full day: "T-SQL That Doesn't Suck: Solving Performance and Concurrency Problems." #PASSDataSummit passdatacommunitysummit.com/west/pre-con...
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 14/06/2026
ZAG > IST (time travel) > NYC
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 09/06/2026
NYC > DUB > ZAG
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 02/06/2026
ah, words. words with meaning.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 28/05/2026
to celebrate cracking 10,000 downloads AND my first colonoscopy, i'm gonna do something crazy and have another clearance sale. the next 10,000 downloads of my free sql server performance monitoring tool will also be free. thank you for your attention to this matter. github.com/erikdarlingd...
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 15/05/2026
Doing some Friday index maintenance.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 14/05/2026
Do widzenia, Poland! Hope to see you next year!
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 12/05/2026
I am sad to report that Erland no longer uses Comic Sans.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 12/05/2026
Poland ain’t bad.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 10/05/2026
expect to hear from my lawyers.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 09/05/2026
Heading to SQL Day! Can’t wait to finally see Poland!
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 29/04/2026
it's music to my very ears.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 28/04/2026
Counterpoint:
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 30/03/2026
New Performance Studio Release: 1.3.0 (FREE|MIT): github.com/erikdarlingd... Thanks to Romain Ferraton for the continued Query Store prettification.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 27/03/2026
Back in Chicago to bring human-generated joy to the people for PASS Data Comunity SUmmit East! Register here: click.red-gate.com/ODA4LUlURy03... #PASSDataSummit
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 26/03/2026
i use the cli for the custom spinners: github.com/MrJoeSack/sp...
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 22/03/2026
jafar, why do you disapprove of the paloma?
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 06/03/2026
@motherduck.com thanks for the duck!
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 28/02/2026
Currently working on surfacing query plan stuff you should know about in my free SQL Server Monitoring tool. Interesting statement level information, Missing index memes, and a Wait Stats graph. Plus, more query analysis rules! github.com/erikdarlingd...
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 24/02/2026
If you're like me, and you forget which PerfMon counters to use for problems, you're gonna love the PerfMon packs coming to my free SQL Server Monitoring Tool. github.com/erikdarlingd...
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 23/02/2026
Coming soon to my free SQL Server Monitoring tool: native plan viewing, getting actual execution plans, and plan analysis rules that I've always wanted to see in SSMS. Check it out here: github.com/erikdarlingd...
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 25/12/2025
Merry Christmas I made a friend finally.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 23/12/2025
I’m excited to announce a new corporate sponsorship.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 29/11/2025
Celebrating the only four German words I know.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 13/11/2025
just finished my new book.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 02/11/2025
how on earth does this not get simplified out of the query plan
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 01/11/2025
Hello, old friend.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 01/11/2025
amusing morning symmetry.
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Darling Data @erikdarling.com · 29/10/2025
oh my.
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