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Epiphora

@epiphora.bsky.social
1.7K followers 1.3K following 24K posts

I have a very discerning vagina. Sex writer + sex toy connoisseur for over 18 years. 🌈 {she/her} heyepiphora.com heyepiphora.com/subscribe 💌 hey.epiphora@gmail.com 📸 IG: instagram.com/heyepiphora

PostsRepliesMedia
Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Bleghhhhhhhhhhhhhh for real, I'm so fucking exhausted
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I really don't wanna know how much I've damaged my body with all my time spent changing affiliate links the last 18 years. I don't think I've earned enough commissions to pay for back surgery.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
My mind is numb and my body is in pain after, for the millionth time, spending all day changing affiliate links on my blog. So many programs have closed, changed, companies folded... and then ALL my links break unless I change them. It never ends.
A screenshot of a Google Doc of a list of sex toy companies whose affiliate programs have changed or closed, with in-depth information about whether I've changed the links on my site or not. It's a VERY long list.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Ugh. Sad.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
HE HAS A NEW SCENE TODAY, AND IT'S A THREESOME. I know what my reward for working today is...
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Jeez! This is the kind of shit that happens when they make these ridiculous designs...
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
🥰 your excitement makes it even better!!! 🤩
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Soooo, sounds like this post is ACTUALLY HAPPENING??? I heard back from CockyBoys and they love the idea. I haven't been energized to write something like this in so long.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Yeah, as long as the harness O-ring is big enough, it would "work" in a harness. The cherry greatly concerns me in that particular situation. 🤣
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
LMAOOOOOOOOOO
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Writing the alt text for that image was hilarious btw: A banana split inspired dildo. The shaft is a peeled banana with chocolate sauce dripping down from the tip. At the base there is a large dollop of whipped cream topped with a cherry, ostensibly to stimulate the clit as well. (Highly doubtful.)
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
It takes a lot for a sex toy to make me jolt backward and go "WOW. WOW... WOW." But this one did it. Made me stare at my screen in horrified awe. shevibe.pxf.io/PzRyLY
A "banana split" inspired dildo. The shaft is a peeled banana with chocolate sauce dripping down from the tip. At the base, there is a large dollop of whipped cream topped with a cherry, ostensibly to stimulate the clit as well. (Highly doubtful.)
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
lololol shocker!
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
idk what lights you guys up and gets you giddily rambling, but apparently for me it's porn
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
I told my therapist about this idea (she loved it) and proceeded to rant the entire session about how people still don't know that good porn exists, and they SHOULD, and I desperately NEED THEM TO, because I am FAR TOO PASSIONATE about pornography
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
People say Heated Rivalry is “just porn,” but what if it ACTUALLY WAS? What if I wrote a blog post about porn scenes that match the sex scenes in Heated Rivalry? And performers who look and act like Ilya and Shane? I feel like the masses need this...
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Luckyyyyyyyyy
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
Y'all I'm in trouble, I think I'm in love with @kanefox.bsky.social. I'm bingeing his scenes like it's fucking Netflix and I'm gonna run out... join.cockyboys.com/track/NDAwMT...
Kane Fox smiling in the sun, lying on top of a guy.Kane Fox about to kiss his scene partner, showing off the rose tattoo on his neck.Kane Fox on a couch, wearing jeans and no shirt, with his hand down his jeans.Kane Fox fucking his scene partner, looking very focused with his gold chain.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
Well here we are. WordPress 7.0 and they've added AI. Now it's like 2 clicks and you can ask a computer to write your entire website for you. I am dying, you guys. The writer in me is SCREAMING.
A screenshot showing a new feature of WordPress 7.0, called "AI foundations." It explains that you can now enable AI in WordPress and "put it to work across your site."
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
This has definitely made me think, though. *IS* incestuous fan fiction the most fucked up thing I've written? Certainly depends on your definition of "fucked up"...
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Yesssss, it's a new thing. :))) I started writing fic last year. I wasn't sure whether to mention it here, although I know it's a SAFE SPACE and thank gawd for that
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Someone commented on my incestuous fanfic on AO3: "such potential waisted on incest fic??? 😭😭😭" ...who's gonna tell them I've used my writing talent for QUITE A LOT of other blasphemous, possibly immoral things?
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Honestly I'd just go with the We-Vibe Tango or Touch. Neither has that really pinpoint edge that the Kip does, but I'd say power is similar. Vibrations are somewhat more intense with the Tango because the main part is plastic rather than dampening silicone of the Touch.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
I'VE FOUND MY AUDIENCE! What did you think??? I checked and I have 700 hours. 😹
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
Right?! I identify as a paperclip now
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
I have questions about this emoji: 🖇️ 1) why does it exist when there is already 📎? 2) why didn't I know about it? 3) why aren't we using it for scissoring???????
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
When did I get so old that stretching my weary bones feels almost as good as an orgasm 😩
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Pop Arena @poparena.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
I hate that "online videos is no longer a viable career path" is now a genre of videos, but this one from stevie boebi is a very good rundown on how being a queer content creator has been a nightmare this past decade. www.youtube.com/watch?v=jroJ...
youtube.com
what happened to stevie boebi?
YouTube video by stevie boebi
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
ABSOLUTE CLASSICS!
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Wait wait I gotta go further back, because I was literally reading incestuous fan fiction when I was 14. Then again, weren't we all? 😅
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
LOL so true
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Humble bragging about incest porn is crazy but fuck it, I'm on Bluesky now and feeling EMBOLDENED.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
I remember back when admitting I was into "incest" porn felt edgy AF. I had to seek it out, and in most scenes, effort was put into selling the illusion. Now it's just an oversaturated, essentially meaningless category on Pornhub. Pshhhh, I was into it before it was cool 😤
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
My orgasms are still good, but they ARE different??? I'm trying to diversify the stimulation to hopefully re-wire my brain as I get going on this. My therapist says "your body wants to enjoy sex."
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Thank you, yeah, it's a shitty trade to make, but may be necessary at the moment. 🫂
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Still really easily aroused, and masturbation feels amazing. I just feel stuck at an 8/10 on the pleasure scale for a really long time, and orgasm is elusive. Weird, but way better than Zoloft, which made me wholly indifferent to masturbation. Told my therapist I'd power through it. We'll see.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
SSRIs are wild. 💊 I started Lexapro and I've gone from being able to time my orgasms down to the second, followed by more orgasms basically whenever I want, to spending an HOUR+ chasing a SINGLE orgasm.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Yeahhh I think I was basically like 👍😑👍, I am now 50% less likely to purchase a phone today
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Once, I was trapped in a Verizon store, and the sales associate found out what I do for a living. Far too delighted, she launched into a whole spiel about a male friend of hers who started a business for mailing a dildo to your enemies. 😑
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
HEY I'm still waiting on reviews of my Sims porn. COME ON, PEOPLE, VALIDATE MY WEIRDNESS
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
Hahahahahaha where do I sell it?!
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Okay, freaks! Here's the Sims porn I shot and edited! Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs. What do you think, do I have natural talent or what? drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D... #piphplayssims
drive.google.com
epiphora-sims-sunrise-to-sunset-in-sulani.mp4
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
*checks likes* okay I guess it's interesting to at least 18 people, so are you guys saying you want to see my screen-recorded Sims porn I edited together or... #piphplayssims
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
You appreciate my artistry 🎨 and it won't surprise you that I've also screen recorded some of this and edited it together.
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Reposted by Epiphora
Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
YES. I make it so all Sims can use all animations. I love the auto-equipping of the strap-on.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
YES. I make it so all Sims can use all animations. I love the auto-equipping of the strap-on.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
Oh, you too? 👀
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
I know this is probably interesting to approximately 3 people, but it's what I'm masturbating to lately and I'm not ashamed! #piphplayssims
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
The sex animations from Wicked Whims are very fun. I was a little too excited to find this last one, entitled "Fucking your Mouth like a Fleshlight." #piphplayssims
Two Sims in a tropical room overlooking the ocean. One is on top of the other, teasing his dick through his shorts.Two Sims in a tropical room overlooking the ocean. One is on top of the other, holding him down.Two Sims in a tropical room overlooking the ocean. One is giving a blowjob off the edge of the bed.A POV shot of one Sim fucking the others' throat.
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Epiphora @epiphora.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
Others have designed far more Intricate rooms. Here's one I downloaded called "Under the Sea." LET'S FUCK AT THE AQUARIUM. #piphplayssims
Two Sims in a blue-hued room filled with water fountains and neon green sea plants. The floor is sand. One Sim is kissing the other while pushing her back onto the bed.Two Sims in a blue-hued room filled with water fountains and neon green sea plants. The floor is sand. One Sim is on her knees before the other, clasping their hands together.Two Sims in a blue-hued room filled with water fountains and neon green sea plants. The floor is sand. One Sim is riding the others' strap-on on the bed.Two Sims in a blue-hued room filled with water fountains and neon green sea plants. The floor is sand. One Sim is riding the others' strap-on on the bed.
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