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parliaments for our cigarette king

@emchap.com
782 followers 555 following 2.6K posts

Making things up and squatting. Raised in ATL, currently in PDX. She/her.

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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 28/09/2026
Dude.
My vacuum, caught under the dining table en route to its charging base after cleaning.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 02/09/2026
I love pursuing micro mobility in Portland Oregon.
Me, in a rain poncho, absolutely soaked after cycling.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 26/08/2026
Who of us hasn’t freaked out a little bit when our terrible child puts our cream toast on an ugly plate?
At the same time, adult invalids seemed childish: needy and querulous, fretting over trifles or weepingly grateful for small kindnesses." For instance, when one woman was too ill to cook for herself, she asked her adolescent daughter to make her Cream Toast—a classic invalid dish made by dousing toasted bread with a creamy sauce. But her daughter put it on an ugly plate, and the woman burst out crying when she saw it. Later, having recovered, she realized that she'd been childish. But aren't all invalids? she reasoned.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 26/08/2026
YouTube served me a post with this caption, which raises some questions about the Hamilton fan community sending threats to each other in 2026.
LETS BRING HAMILTON COMMUNITY BACK TO ITS PEAK!! NO MORE THREATS! HAPPY COMMUNITY ONLY!
Monday: Post video on your favorite Schuyler
Sister
Tuesday: Ship Edit
Wednesday: Hamilton actor edit
Thursday: Make a Lin edit
Friday: Make an edit for your favorite Hamilton creator
Saturday: Make any edit using Hamilton song
Sunday: Make a historic Hamilton video * has to be fun fact not in the musical* (example: Hamiltons Ship getting caught on fire on his way to America!
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 14/08/2026
I can’t stop laughing at my eggplant parm sandwich.
Wrapper of the sandwich, on which is written EGG.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 02/08/2026
Went on the Wilamette Greenway for the first time yesterday, and it was just pretty view after pretty view, it was great. The beach cassation version of the Springwater.
A picture of boats docked off the side of the path I was biking on.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 31/07/2026
The poor boy, recovering.
An elderly tabby cat, basking in the sun on a cat tree.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 05/07/2026
Yes excellent.
My dinner, a pasta salad with tomatoes and mozzarella and spinach, and a smash burger with caramelized onions on top.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 04/07/2026
Kickstand no that’s not correct
My absolutely snapped in half bike kickstand, being held in my hand.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 19/06/2026
Excellent.
The sheet pan crunchwrap, very toasted.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 18/06/2026
He spent 15 minutes, screaming at me this morning for reasons unknown and is now sitting in a sunbeam. I think he wanted company.
A tabby cat curled up in a sunbeam on the floor.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 13/06/2026
I love that we just have a little agricultural island nearby. Sidequest zone.
A half flat of strawberries I picked on Sauvie Island.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 27/05/2026
My man I'd have to really change my sauerkraut consumption habits for the answer to ever be in favor of not buying it.
Screenshot of a Youtube short from a cooking creator I do like asking "How much cheaper is making sauerkraut at home?".
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 23/05/2026
beans beans beans
Breakfast plate with two fried eggs, a large golden cornbread cheese biscuit, and black beans covered in cotija, pickled red onions, and an avocado crema sauce.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 21/05/2026
Moved my cat’s tree over here to see if he’d like the elevation (he likes to sit on the floor here and peer into the bedroom) and did not realize that it puts him directly at human eye height if you’re coming in the back door after doing laundry, for example. Nearly had a heart attack.
Cat sitting on a medium height platform in the hallway, next to the back door to my condo.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 16/05/2026
Summoning the sun back through force of will.
Dinner plate with a hot dog, watermelon and basil salad, and a loosely Mexican corn salad.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 11/05/2026
All bikes are cargo bikes if you believe.
A picture of my non-cargo ebike with two folding chairs attached to the rack by means of a net pannier.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 07/05/2026
Had another very good goat interaction.
Goat sticking his face through a fence to stare at me.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 03/05/2026
Hey eBay what.
Captcha asking me to pick only things that naturally float on water, consisting entirely of pelicans, keyboards, and shovels.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 30/04/2026
I have a bit! I went to go look at his channel and this was in the first "for you" slot:
Youtube image preview that says "gynecological cancers" In a jaunty purple font.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 29/04/2026
Made a friend.
A goat, with its hooves on the fence and its head fully over the fence, standing in a yard above my head.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 07/04/2026
Guys being dudes.
English physician Charles Blagden (1748-1820) staged a rather theatrical demonstration of homeostasis long before Cannon coined the word. In 1775, Blagden spent 45 minutes in a chamber heated to 127°C (260°F)-along with a dog, beefsteaks and eggs, and some research associates.
Being dead and unable to maintain homeostasis, the steaks were cooked well done in as little as 13 minutes and almost dry in 47 minutes, and the eggs were cooked hard. But being alive and capable of evaporative cooling, the dog panted and the men sweated profusely. Even at such extreme room temperatures, the men's oral temperatures were only 37° to 38°C (98°-100°F). Blagden said their nostrils felt scorched each time they inhaled the hot room air, and cooled each time they exhaled Everyone including the dog survived, but history does not record whether the men ate the steak in celebration or shared it with the dog.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 05/04/2026
Making hash browns is the best way to eat basically just half a potato for breakfast.
Homemade hashbrowns covered in cheddar cheese and salsa on a pink plate.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 03/04/2026
This young man screams at me on my way to the gym every morning and it’s very funny.
An adolescent grey cat sitting in a window, mid-yell.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 03/04/2026
It’s a beautiful day in the village and you are a horrible bike accessory.
The wheel of my e-bike, with my new goose shaped valve cover visible.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 15/03/2026
I’m obsessed with the owners of this vehicle.
Yellow Subaru Baja with a “mikehwk” license plate.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 06/03/2026
I really enjoyed the Hockney exhibit at PAM.
Two Hockney prints, both showing Southern California architecture in surreal colors. A large Hockney print showing trees behind panels of glass, as if through a window.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 15/02/2026
The frog made me tear up.
A welded together human sized metal frog that contains the outline of a human inside of it, along with tiny outlines of ice agents aiming guns at a littler frog and his friends. It reads “frogzilla melts ice” and has a little frog in it that has a sign reading “frog together strong!” At the bottom is a sculpture of a bulldozer taking down the east wing of the White House. Inside of the frog is a lit fire pit.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 13/02/2026
Close enough.
A slice of Safeway birthday cake, in green and purple frosting, sitting on its side on a plate.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 29/01/2026
This dinner was Good.
A photo of my dinner, three fried bean tacos with half an avocado and a bunch of shredded cabbage covered with sour cream and cilantro.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 29/01/2026
okay fuck you, photo editor
A headline from Self magazine that says "can you really 'scoop out' your period?" accompanied by a hand with a cookie scoop from which is being dropped some horrible purple goop
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 17/01/2026
Turns out you can in fact fit both a patch sized block of drywall and a giant sack of scratch and dent apples into these bags. Huzzah! (the drywall did poke me in the ass on the way home but soo la voo)
My e-bike, panniers stuffed with the listed items. Beautiful local apples for sale next to the hardware store.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 25/12/2025
Mine childe
A Christmas braid, a braided pastry covered in glaze, oranges, cherries, and pecans.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 26/11/2025
The crimped edges fell off but otherwise excited to eat this tomorrow.
A lattice top apple pie, fresh out of the oven.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 25/11/2025
Naughty turkeys get the buttermilk sack.
Spatchcocked turkey sitting in a bag of buttermilk in my fridge. Viva Samin!
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 12/11/2025
The “fun fact” and “nickname” sections on the mother bear’s profile are so unimaginably bleak.
NAME
Molly
LIKES
A fluffy robe and irresistibly soft
TP
FUN FACT
My self-care is stealing a little me time on the toilet
NICKNAME
Mom
DISLIKES
Public restrooms
BEST FEATURE
Have you seen this fur coat?
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 12/11/2025
Found a good use for some chicken sausages that were in the freezer.
Pigs in a blanket made with hot dog sized chicken sausages from Costco, covered in sesame seeds and egg washed.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 05/11/2025
I made double fried orange tofu tonight and though a moderate pain in the ass given the frying, it was excellent.
My dinner, equal parts broccoli, rice, and the fried tofu in an orange sauce.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 30/10/2025
Random extremely useful swag thing but Go Lloyd handed out these seat covers at the workshop I went to and like absolute kudos to whoever decided on them as an item. Much more stylish than a produce bag.
Waterproof bike saddle cover with the Go Lloyd logo on it being displayed on my e-bike.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 29/10/2025
Exciting day at the park!
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 20/10/2025
Chili seasonnnnnn
A bowl of black bean chili topped with cheddar cheese, pickled jalapeño, sour cream, and cilantro.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 26/09/2025
Finally: YouTube shorts for your most scammable grandparent
Tweet from @alexandr_wang saying: "Excited to share Vibes—a new feed in the Meta AI app for short-form, AI-generated videos."
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 20/09/2025
Every year I get dead mom birthday carrot cake and you know my mom is still dead but now I have cream cheese icing.
A beautiful piece of carrot cake
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 01/09/2025
Very excited to meet the Large Troll today.
A woman in a purple dress (me) standing next to a wooden troll sculpture that is 20 feet tall.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 29/08/2025
I ordered an old watch from eBay and I am completely tickled by it. (which is good, because we can’t have things from Japan anymore I think.)
Newly acquired Seiko 5, in green with a green band, on my wrist.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 06/08/2025
One of my coworkers found this and it's so, so funny. www.w3.org/TR/css-align...
w3c documentation with a scribbled whiteboard drawing embedded as an example image, like a child drew it. It's so goofy.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 03/08/2025
I feel like the BLeeM Oreo CEO
Chocolate covered pretzel flavored Oreos
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 01/03/2025
The delta between my strength and my endurance is so large that I am having to take fully 100 lbs off my training max to even maybe hit the expected number of reps, a hearty el oh el. (SBS hypertrophy template, we’ll see how it goes!)
My lifts for today. I worked out for an hour and three minutes, lifted 14,720 lbs, and hit 5 PRs. 4x10 squats at 225, 4x10 legless bench at 105, and 3x12 with a top set of 16 reps at 25 for dumbbell RDLs.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 19/02/2025
Cabbage rolls are not beautiful but they are definitely full of stuff.
Three homemade cabbage rolls on a dinner plate with globs of sour cream on top.
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parliaments for our cigarette king @emchap.com · 18/02/2025
God’s goofiest fucking creatures.
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