iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 18/10/2026

keepsakes have always been dear to me, especially those given to me as gifts. I find that they keep me bound to remembering the beauty within bonds even as they change, a physical memory, ever unchanging

Bracelet

affixed yet loose
tiny globes of speckled stones
cling to my fur
like a kitten to it's mother,
I thought,
as I slipped it on
stroking it gently
until it fit just right

it seems life has a way
of placing complex meaning
upon simple things
until we may no longer easily
sift them out
into clarity

I no longer see a kitten
in the little beads
but, rather,
a hope
that maybe, someday,
if I keep it close to me
I'll feel it purr again,
once more.

until then
I'll keep it warm
nestled in my fur
to do otherwise
feels cruel, somehow.

0110 11

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 16/10/2026

i'd love hearing what folks think this one means

$Radiant Influence Lips of mottled bone echoing above blistering sands spurring a raucous noise and a painful ambition fractured obelisks devoid of spirit rise above yet reside below hollow existence born of spite desired by the light they glitter in obscelescence but bloodied onyx shines brightest in the dead of night$

150 5

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 14/10/2026

might be losing my job tomorrow weeee

160 6

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 11/10/2026

Did some vent art for my internal dialogue tonight, it's pretty volatile, but they tend to be messy frequently. Intrusive thoughts are a natural part of life. I am only posting this because I want others to feel seen if they struggle with similar things. CW: beratement, self-harm, anxiety

1110 11

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 09/10/2026

miunau.bandcamp.com/track/dishon... To be paired with this track

The Song

Of all the things on this earth
one feeling stands above the rest,
at least for me.

An overwhelming sensation,
brilliant, shining beauty
like a sparkling geode
it dazzles and gleams
impossible to look away from
but enjoyed for every moment.
An overwhelming sensation.

A serene moment by a babbling brook
A tenderness in the trunk of a car
Quiet nights on a beach,
the crashing waves a soothing natural ambiance
Moments of peace, amidst all the noise
a Song of Reprieve that keeps us both safe

Safety is a blessing
in a world as pained as this one
a luxury that should be kept sacred
untainted by the fears we all hold,
but to ask this is too great a need
and we are all but only beasts
Fear is natural within our breasts.

A mistake, then another,
and the Song twists, corrupts,
Where there is an intense Good
a Fear matching that must be fought.

$Slashes are made at thin air the beast paces in circles fur bristling, legs shaking, hackles raised. Vigilant in its battle against an invisible opponent. Caught in a battle unending, the beast gets no reprieve, and that brilliant beauty serves only as a burden that of expectation which only serves to feed the flames licking at its haunches searing its flesh For survival sacrifice must be made. a shattered geode will no longer refract a blinding radiance to cast these obscene shadows yet the fragments are kept as hopeful reminders Perhaps, someday, we will find a way to be safe, again but, for now the Song quiets, and the world is louder, once more.$

062 6

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 07/10/2026

some idle ramblings about sexual feelings that I imagine asexual folks will enjoy resonating with. I wouldn't read this unless you wanna see deep personal venting about the social surroundings of sexual interaction

"I know i'm not attractive. Sex is scary and weird to me, and i'm not very fond of it for that.

Being horny makes me feel like a man, and I dislike that a lot, even knowing the irrationality of it.

To be attractive, you have to desire, be desired, be confident, and show all of that all the time, perpetually.

You showed insecurity? Unattractive.
You were too shy to perform? Unattractive
You didn't show enough desire? Unattractive
You didn't want to do X sex thing? Unattractive.

It's hard enough to be in my body, but to also have to follow all these social, performative rules as well? And then also be hygienic, and successful? and look a very specific way, often outside of my control?

...fuck off, I give up.

...But the people I love haven't. So I feel sad and excluded, and jealous. Because socially and hormonally, I am SUPPOSED to care about it.

So I try. I make my stupid attempts to fit into the systems of what people desire and expect. I play the game and I get insecure over it because I want to be liked the way I like others. I want to be seen as attractive because others seem to love how it feels when I see them that way.

However, I feel like a liar trying to be seen as something that I, personally, have been shown many times not to be. It feels like when people see me at a surface level, i'm hot, and then the moment anyone digs deeper, they see how much of a mess I am, and it becomes obvious that I am not attractive.

I see them showing themselves off, wanting to feel attractive, flirting, etc, after they've expressed that I am not attractive to them, and it's as if they told me they have a hobby they love that they hate doing specifically with me, and that if I try engaging in it, i'll make them feel weird and unhappy about me.

...and that's ridiculous, right? That's completely unfair nonsense? Especially since my body constantly urges me to keep participating in the Social Game that Makes Me Hate Being in My Body??

It's a personal hell that I can never escape. So I keep trying to care. I keep trying to participate in a game stacked against me in many ways, and then I feel horrible when I fail, because I know my friends and lovers are going to keep playing without me.

I'm tired of making mistakes in this game. I'm tired of relationships suffering because i'm bad at this game.
I'm tired of "love" as a concept being conditionally locked behind being good at this game.

The social rules and systems that dictate this completely ridiculous, hormonal desire system are messy and ambiguous and even with good communication, trauma fucks it up.

Why does everyone do this to themselves, to each other? Am I the only one suffering in this way?

I want a reprieve. I'm begging for one."

1130 13

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 04/10/2026

CW: body dysmorphia, sexual assault, gore, kinda viscerally uncomfortable Had a bad nightmare and needed to vent about it, probably one of my more painful bits of writing, but probably worthwhile for others to feel seen potentially.

Desire is the man
I used to be
needy, hungry,
a pressure to exert
upon those I loved

I've outrun him, mostly.
but sometimes
I grow lax
and stumble,
distracted by beauty,
and my pace slows.

He knows,
licking His lips
His greedy, quick breathing
His long stride making up the distance
and I don't notice
until it's far too late

pinned under his strength
he tears off my garments
claws dig into supple flesh
and I can't bear to scream
to risk letting anyone see the Man I used to be,
but the penetrating agony gives me no choice.

they see me
a used, scarlet horror
dripping pink,
the wrong parts on display,
and I can only beg for help
through tear streaked sobs
but when I see their face
I can tell
they only see Him.

His trembling frame, bony and cold.
His lusty expression, an objectifying gaze.
His slick length, wet with His pleasure and My pain.

I can only know they must see
that predator that I used to be
when I find myself hunted
by Desire once more.

091 9

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 27/09/2026

for the first time making a serious effort drawing myself, I'm pretty happy with this;; this is how I mostly visualize myself at the moment 🩷

Elpis Bepis, a snow leopard bear hybrid, sits in a comfortable position on a background with a painterly trans pride colored heart behind her. She is exceptionally fluffy, with wild hair and fur in shades of white, pink, and burgundy.

129128 91

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 22/09/2026

would you meet them on an island mantled in mist?

2122 12

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 18/09/2026

got this piece back from @puppyywife.bsky.social that's SO soft n fluffy;; love how I look here..

728285 282

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 17/09/2026

would u give him all the money in your bank account...?

54818 48

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 16/09/2026

would you let him train you for 3 years in the art of creating the purrfect stew

2161 16

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 09/09/2026

Wanted to spend some time focusing on myself today, and all that entails. I'm pretty happy with the result, I think.

A journal entry by Elpis, dated 9/9/26

the text reads "The mind is a bizarre thing, as it seems, and I have a lot more to learn about mine than i've realized.

As it turns out, I have a room in my head, just downstairs from where I normally reside, and within that room lives a large, fluffy beast named "Loam".

He's been here for a long time, I just never quite realized I could go downstairs to look. He's a caribou-bear hybrid, a "Caribear" as it were, and I guess he's been helping to protect me for quite a while.

Sometimes, when i've needed to take a break from life, I've gone downstairs and he's swapped places with me, settling into my (or, our?) active consciousness, and handling the world for a little while.

He's quiet, stoic, and a lot more masculine than I am.

...But he's my friend, and hopefully, yours too 🩶

There is a second page, with a drawing of Loam laying back on a couch in front of a fireplace. He looks friendly, fluffy, and comfortable. He'd keep you safe, too, for as long as you chose to stick around.

6296 29

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 03/09/2026

very peculiar times to be a bear I think

a bear on a sticky note surrounded by the text "Grin and bear it" with accent lines and lil wobbly squiggles to indicate the playful dopey bear smile is actually anxious masking

2229 22

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 28/08/2026

I heard it was a day for the pillows to be displayed.... 🩷

84415 44

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 26/08/2026

If he lent you a book would you be sure to return it within 30 days?

a little kobold, looking at you!! they're a little nervous and awkward but they mean well!!

3186 18

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 25/08/2026

got to get really playful and snuggly with my partner Sunrise in VR tonight and these pictures of it were incredibly precious to me...

Elpis, a large soft fluffy pink kittybear, and Sunrise, a red and tan horned dragon, nestled up with Elpis tucked tenderly in it's arms.

Now Elpis and Sunrise are looking into each other's eyes, in a very intimate and lovely moment

Sunrise is playfully chomping at Elpis's snout! She's actively smiling and her fangs are expressing a giddy grin

now Sunrise is biting her ear! It is slightly curled and her muzzle is actively open from giggling at this point!!

4287 28

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 12/08/2026

today's Greacher was drawn using a fountain pen a patient gave me, which was cool of them :)

5205 20

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 05/08/2026

lotta time to doodle today at work so I tried practicing line thickness also it is going to steal your crackers

3252 25

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 01/08/2026

congrats on your 4k!! you're so high resolution now?? or something?? anyway your art is lovely 🩷

050 5

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 31/07/2026

this cart iis full of many delectable noyses

071 7

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 31/07/2026

be nice to me I'm very shy thank you here are my favorite kinks

15281 28

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 28/07/2026

cw: a lil heavy some venting writing about today

Consistency

I feel every morning
like a haze of smoke
I cannot bring myself
to rise into
and inhale brutal fumes

so instead I lie
pinned beneath a mirage
too cowardly to brave
the world that exists beyond

yet the fear of starvation
of death
of disappointment, even
spurs me upright
into what should be a simple choking fit
and is instead a painful reality

a routine, of course follows
do these pants fit?
hopefully.
do I have time to shower?
not after that sorry display
did I wash clothes last night?
I doubt they'll notice.

keys jangle, scraping against wood
fumbling with tight pockets
the thud of a door cements my choice
of an upcoming misery
and yet, one must exist

When I walk into work,
what could they possibly see,
but a ragged creature
in linens unbefitting of the struggles I endure,
bought and worn upon request
like a refined rat,

-- is what I might say,
if rats were not actually very lovely
and I'd rather not perpetuate a stereotype,
nonetheless--

Do they, too, deal with a smoky haze?
perhaps consistent sharp pangs of pain?
or a dull ache, ever persistent.
I like to think most do,
in their own ways,
and yet, on some days,
such is clearly not the case.
for why else do they chastise me
like a child, acting up.

"We just need a little more consistency"
they speak as though I am unaware,
as though I hadn't considered,
that was an option to me?
as I tremble
the signs i've seen many times
unveiling upon a honeyed, sticky sympathy
a falsehood that rips at my already torn skin
from my claws, from my fangs,
ever incapable of tranquility
during such restless appearances.

They smile, as if all is well
they've appeased this immature fool
they have succeeded at their job
their managers will be so proud of them
for the pain they've wrought
because who would want to keep around
one who chooses
to be so terribly inconsistent.

Lines blur,
reality tears,
I'm back home, safe,
so why does my heart race
my skin crawl
words fail me
so I fade
knowing only
that nobody capable of the inflicting this
could possibly deal with that smoke, too.

0110 11

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 26/07/2026

I bet if you're a keyboard this feels really fucking good..

3151 15

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 26/07/2026

just finished teasing my @icecream149.bsky.social and now she looks like this

070 7

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 20/07/2026

got some updated ref sheet adjustments done to reflect my desire to look more like a moon bear as my hybrid bear species, among other things, and @takaalive.bsky.social did wonderfully as always, such a joy to work with 🩷

79927 99

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 19/07/2026

oh my gosh 100% , your art is so sweet n lovely.... If the mood strikes you, I know it'd be real nice 🩷

010 1

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 19/07/2026

critters make the best pillows ever and wow VR has made me cry two nights in a row being a critter fucking rules I love being big and soft and warm, this just keeps proving to me that in my ideal body I would be un fucking stoppable

0274 27

Poochyena Mother Elpis @elpisthefur.pmd.social · 18/07/2026

I've wanted to be viewed as nurturing, gentle, soft, kind, and warm for so long, and to some extents I have succeeded-- but tonight, getting to gently tease and caress and hold one of the most precious critters I've ever laid eyes upon, sharing heart-melting affections with them... I feel like me.

a big soft beastie, with a smaller kobold nestled up against her muzzle.

4393 39