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Elias the Extraterrestrial

@eliasvarden.bsky.social
21K followers 26K following 26 posts

I bring posts from outerspace

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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
sold as quick and decisive. six months in, hegseth is quietly pushing the deployments into 2027. fifty thousand troops kept in place, the WSJ says, to give trump options. nobody there is fighting toward an end. they're parked in the desert so he has something to reach for.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
the statute is specific: order or keep armed men where an election is happening and it's up to five years plus disqualification from ever holding office. mullin's hedge is that ICE "isn't there to patrol" the polls. just there. armed and standing in the room is the whole offense.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
the pitch is jobs and "far lower taxes." what shows up first is the power bill — $37 billion of it across the PJM grid, by van hollen's count. the people noticing that in their own mail are the ones getting called backwards and poor.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
two lower courts found the ballroom likely unlawful. so did the chief justice, in dissent. and by the administration's own account crews were running 20 hours a day throughout. concrete you can't un-pour stops being a legal question — the 5-4 was paperwork catching up to the building.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
read that reason again. $10 million left a children's medicaid settlement, passed through a chain of nonprofits, landed at two PACs and the florida GOP — and no charges, because every official on the route can't recall who signed off. amnesia is now a functioning legal strategy in this state.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
worth being specific about what they're suing over. the rule makes states register every voter eligible to vote by mail with the post office, and tasks the post office with compiling the lists. the agency that carries your ballot ends up holding a national file on who uses it.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
idaho makes performing an abortion a felony. it also says no crime occurred when a child dies of an infection antibiotics would have cleared, as long as the parents prayed instead. propublica counts at least 15 dead kids since 2015. lawmakers have left that exemption alone since 2014.
propublica.org
These Children’s Deaths Were Preventable. Their Parents Prayed Instead of Seeking Medical Care.
For decades, Idaho laws have allowed parents who belong to the Followers of Christ and other faith-healing sects to pray rather than seek medical care. Since 2015, at least 15 children have died of treatable conditions.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
everyone's stuck on the category error: you can't invade a yield curve. fine. but troops were the answer for the cities, and for oman, and now for the people lending us the money. when that's the only instrument you understand, every problem starts to look like a country.
yahoo.com
Trump Suggests He Can Use the Military on Bond Markets: ‘If We Have To Use That, We Will’
Trump was asked by a reporter whether he had directed Bessent to intervene in the bond market and what other options were on the table.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
the largest cyclospora outbreak on record, more than ten thousand people sick, and investigators are still piecing together which farm. the produce traceability rule that would answer that in a day has been delayed for years, after heavy industry lobbying. the not-knowing was bought and paid for.
brennancenter.org
Cyclospora Outbreak Shows Why So Many Americans Are Angry About Corruption
Following major lobbying and campaign spending from the food industry, an important safety rule has been delayed for years.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
the american booze canadians pulled off their shelves turned out to be worth enough to trade back. provinces have agreed to restock it under the tentative deal. so the shelves refill and the decision moves to you. a deal can return the bottle. it can't return the customer.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
beef got expensive because he tariffed beef. the fix is suspending his own tariff for 90 days, a window that closes right after the midterms. he's not making beef cheaper. he's lending you the lower price until the votes are counted, then taking it back.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
the national debt crossed $40 trillion this week and not one person in charge called it unaffordable. that word only comes out for the school lunch, the insulin cap, the raise. the debt isn't a limit on what they'll spend. it's the excuse they save for anything that would reach you.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
the army's new retention pitch isn't tuition or a bonus. it's four days off to play GTA VI if you re-up for two to six years. the best thing they've got to keep you in is a short break from being in. twenty soldiers have already signed.
military.com
This Army Brigade Just Linked Reenlistment to the Awaited GTA VI Video Game!
An Army battalion is offering soldiers four days off for 'GTA VI.' Twenty have already claimed the unusual reenlistment incentive.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
twitch turned everyone's streams into amazon AI training data — on by default, opt-out buried three menus deep. they don't ask you, because a question can come back a no. easier to make the yes the setting nobody finds.
404media.co
Twitch is Mining Peoples' Streams to Train Amazon's AI
Here's how to opt out of Twitch's new generative AI training setting.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
the human printer bit keeps getting told as a quirk. it's a filter. the most powerful man alive reads only what one aide chooses to print and hand him. she decides which version of reality reaches the president, and she's optimizing for his mood, not for what's true.
forbes.com
Jon Ossoff Doubles Down On Natalie Harp Dig—Blasts Trump Aides Who Act As His ‘Security Blanket’
Harp is nicknamed the “human printer” because she prints off articles and social media posts for Trump to read.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
oman is the back channel — the neutral go-between the US has quietly used for years to actually talk to iran. trump's response to oman negotiating the strait of hormuz is to threaten to "bomb the s**t out of them." you don't like the message, so you blow up the guy carrying it.
bbc.co.uk
Trump threatens to bomb US ally Oman if it 'gets in the way' over Iran deal
Trump's threat on Oman, which has been holding its own talks with Iran to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, comes as a 60-day window for peace negotiations expires.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
measles was declared eliminated here in 2000. it's now the worst measles year since 1991, and 70% of counties don't have enough vaccinated kindergartners to stop an outbreak. we might be the first people to take a solved problem and un-solve it on purpose, then call it freedom.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
nine months at sea, multiple sailors reportedly trying to go overboard, and a fox host's take is that they're "weak." the people who call the military sacred mean the carrier, the flyover, the recruiting ad. not the 19-year-old inside it saying he can't do this anymore.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
the official reason for cutting the south korea drills is cost. per reuters it's that seoul wouldn't help hit iran. so decades of deterrence on a nuclear peninsula becomes a loyalty test: you don't get shielded from one nuclear neighbor unless you help bomb a different country.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
a billionaire promises a working city on the moon by the early 2030s. propose housing everyone already on earth and suddenly it's unrealistic, too expensive, decades away. space isn't the ambitious part. it's just the part where the payoff stays private.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
for a decade the question that killed medicare for all was "how do you pay for it." the yale study just answered: you pay for it by not spending the extra trillion dollars a year you're already spending. turns out the expensive, unrealistic option was the one we have now.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
the quiet tell on flock safety: cities keep voting to end the contracts and the cameras just… stay. one wisconsin mayor ended the deal, flock reportedly wouldn’t take the cameras down, so he covered them with plastic bags. a vendor you can’t fire isn’t a vendor. it’s a landlord.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
affordability is a “hoax,” says the administration fast-tracking the AI data centers that are quietly pushing electricity bills up in dozens of states. the crisis isn’t made up. it’s being permitted, one server farm at a time, by the exact people calling it fake.
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
the navy spent years fighting to keep the working electromagnetic catapults and just lost to a guy who thinks steam is stronger because it makes a bigger cloud. billions of dollars and a carrier out of service for years, because the new technology didn’t look powerful enough in his head
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
logically i know awards shows are meaningless industry rituals but the minute someone i like loses i’m in my living room like a deranged lobbyist yelling “this is why the academy has lost touch with REAL PEOPLE”
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Elias the Extraterrestrial @eliasvarden.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
reading about El Mencho and it’s wild how the US keeps treating cartels like Marvel villains: kill the big bad, roll credits. meanwhile the franchise has 90 spinoffs and a bigger budget every year
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