iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

(literally acquainted with several already. i have no excuses)

000

i really need to meet more ac people. i'm withering away

so why try. well you know. hungry for quality and work that resonates with me, and also so socially understimulated it's becoming a complex. make unproductive art, come on here and bitch about it, and no one gets hurt

000

i'm picky. the old stuff does not amount to anything i personally would want to read... because it's all like, generic, or else too confused in premise. prose is usually fine, but doesn't achieve a Story. and too often, it's too distant from source material to justify its existence

100

big part of my upheaval past couple years has been a process overhaul for visart; i also need a process period for text. i write consistently, started prob in like 2022... and i have a couple hundred words published. how do i make that higher. idk

100

i know this is all i talk about sorry LOL i'm trying to interrogate the impulse. i get sick of drawing things i'm ashamed of so i write, and i also have 1 million conversations i want to have but don't know how to, so i write for that reason too

000

ultra-nightmare difficulty: the characters i'm writing are so lacking in explicit depth that i have to fabricate it and at that point they become different characters 😫

000

interest, style, and truth to life are hard to achieve even with a lot of space and i have the low wordcount curse... i do actually "like" writing but when it's the only way to both feed oneself and communicate, it's an evil, soul-sucking pursuit

100

lately the only thing that makes me look forward to tomorrow is a promising start to a draft. wake up the next day, it's unusable. sisyphean

you begin to understand why no one writes your thing well when you try to do it yourself... you can't fit high concept into short fiction unless you're actually skilled

birdwatch @ebirdwatching.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

big complicated knot of things here; still wanting an art career, having no intrinsic source of confidence, etc. if there's a future, i don't know how to get to it except to keep being wildly unhappy in its general direction. which i hate very much 👍

020

birdwatch @ebirdwatching.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

still working it out but i think the meltdowns are from the lack of material results after a lot of hard work to improve my art. the effort doesn't entitle me to anything, it just feels like a deadend

birdwatch @ebirdwatching.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

ik i haven't posted art in a while, now that i have a place to put ac work i don't want to deal with the meltdowns i have every time i upload here. it could be a while till i get back to it

021

Reposted by birdwatch

Zips @pitzips.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Robot Requiem throwback

21715

birdwatch @ebirdwatching.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

i love the atmosphere… beautiful sense of light with the layering ☀️

well i dunno. if i live in isolation i want to make a home out of it. decorate it and shit. what i've got is what there is and i'd like it to be enough

i want to make something with depth and atmosphere but i'm inexperienced, stuck with short-form, and too desperate for vision. art is the better option? but i can't share it there

011

increasingly doubtful i can do anything about it myself. altho i try pretty hard

waiting for some good v.ii/v.vi to read but i don't think it's gonna happen 😔

Skeletondoggy (COMMISSIONS OPEN! 2/5!) @skeletondoggy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Reposted by birdwatch

FOR THE FIRST TIME, PAINTING COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!! Can do humans, monsters, furries, mechs, YOU NAME IT! DM ME AND READ THE DETAILS BELOW IF INTERESTED! 5 SLOTS OPEN FOR THE FIRST RUN!! 🎨COMMISSION INFO: skeletondoggycommission.carrd.co ☕KO-FI: ko-fi.com/skeletondoggy 🏀VGEN: vgen.co/skeletondoggy

25$ for a bust, 35$ for a half body, and 50$+ for a full body! Read the commission carrd for more info!!

33241

i'm like "i wanna make narrative work" all the time and i don't do that. only once since graduating have i done it, w a few hundred words written in like 5 days. that's the timescale i can work with. how to make this workable or how to live without it ⬅️the question now

lots of soul-searching re: what i want to do in life if it's going to hurt no matter what and i'd like to get money/job sorted out quickly. but i'm also not even sure what i want to do w myself besides maybe tell stories? which invariably ends in pain flares after 3-5 days of focused work... hmmm

i have 1000000 stretches and exercises to do now. becoming clear that pain-free employment probably is not a possibility for me so i need to consider how to proceed

update on arm situation: much improved since last week. lucky to be attending occupational therapy rn and the evaluation is it's an acute strain & not the beginning of something chronic. which is great because i am passing the one year mark on tennis elbow on the other side. no more. please no more

birdwatch @ebirdwatching.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

in the coming weeks if you want to talk to me pls consider setting up a call, as my other arm's issue is flaring up and i'm having difficulty typing. i am stable enough to be normal in conversation lol just cannot handle much physical activity

040

birdwatch @ebirdwatching.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

so frustrating to be diligent and careful and still get hurt... i literally do exercises and stretches and activity moderation Already. i was testing the new tablet in 5 min sessions with 2 min breaks in between ! forever unemployed @ this rate 🤷

birdwatch @ebirdwatching.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

today was research and action plan day. got a wrap for my arm for support + i'm resting it. will try 10-15 mins of daily drawing time for a few days and see how that goes. much less pain at rest today & mostly just discomfort during activity but i will not be doing much for a while ig

i will check it out, thank you 🙏

i know i’m freaking out about it but this is the fifth muscle/tendon injury of my adult life. these aren’t going to stop and only one of them has ever healed completely. like i’m just very short on hope and out of ideas and i have to face it w no way to cope. that hurts more than the injury itself

the way i lead my life is that drawing Is comfort and it’s the only one, i don’t have close relationships or reasons for living, i just kind of live in my head, but currently i’m stuck outside it and don’t know when i’ll get back in so. sucks 😞

i think… if i could have anything short of becoming uninjured it would be knowing when i could get back to drawing. it would be the closest thing to comfort

it all sounds trivial laid out like that 🤦 what's my problem man

sorry i'm only complaining here lately i'm having a bad time of it this month. racoon in our attic so i couldn't sleep in my room for a while, very unpleasant trip to visit family, my toilet is just broken for some reason, my only coping mechanism is now unavailable for idk how long. just not good

genuinely doing my absolute best not to be like suicidal about it but i'm so unhappy. however meager my 1 to 2 hrs a day are i don't have a life outside them so i've literally just been sitting here 😓

drawing is the only thing i really do so i've been trying to figure out what to pivot to if this ever gets so bad i can't do it without pain

i dunno man. i've been hanging on by a thread so long that anything can make me miserable but this one is very hard to handle

i can rest it, whatever, but i never fully recovered when this happened in the exact same place on the other arm, so... not feeling optimistic atm

i permanently damage some part of myself once every couple years so i don't know why it surprises me every time it happens but this is an outcome i hadn't even considered