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Deborah Vinall, PsyD

@dvinall.bsky.social
1.4K followers 1.1K following 397 posts

Author, psychotherapist, lover, fighter, survivor Books: - Gaslighting: A Step-by-Step Recovery Guide to Heal from Emotional Abuse - Trauma Recovery Guide for Teens

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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
A Cornell student alleges she was raped by multiple frat bros. Some of her attackers were assigned essays as punishment. But the victim left Cornell. I did the same, when it was me. We need to talk about the uneven costs of campus rape. #cornell #campusrape dvinall.substack.com/p/the-first-...
dvinall.substack.com
The First Glass Ceiling
On campus sexual assault and the futures it derails
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
You may know you are safe. She may know you are safe. But after sexual trauma, her body may still need time to learn it. Today I wrote for the partners who want to help make love feel safe again. #traumahealing #sexualtrauma #PTSDawareness dvinall.substack.com/p/if-you-lov...
dvinall.substack.com
If You Love An Assault Survivor
On loving a partner through the echoes of sexual trauma
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
This week we collectively turn with intention toward remembrance. But what happens when remembering comes without warning or control? dvinall.substack.com/p/i-remember...
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Healing, I’ve come to understand, doesn’t require abandoning the emotional truth of our past. It can give us access to more of the story. And sometimes, it gives us back our voice. dvinall.substack.com/p/the-storie...
dvinall.substack.com
The Stories I Couldn't Finish
On trauma, writing, and what healing gave back
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
There are conversations you haven’t had yet. Tables you haven’t sat around. Rooms you haven’t walked into. Sometimes change feels mostly like loss because we can see what is ending—but not yet what is coming. Free guided meditation for changing times: dvinall.substack.com/p/making-roo...
dvinall.substack.com
Making Room for What Comes Next
A Meditation for Grief, Growth, and Possibility.
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
We tend to associate grief with things going wrong: death, rupture, failure, unwanted endings. But sometimes we grieve because something went beautifully right. #lifetransitions #launchingkids dvinall.substack.com/p/he-walked-...
dvinall.substack.com
He Walked Up the Hill Without Looking Back
On a hundred small goodbyes, and the strange grief of watching a child grow
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Can we tell the truth about someone who hurt us—and still love them? Can we forgive without pretending the harm didn’t happen? Can we #reconcile without rewriting history? dvinall.substack.com/p/reconcilia...
dvinall.substack.com
Reconciliation is not Revision
On telling the truth about harm while making room for love
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
A Fox "News" host recently joked about female military service members having to "be careful" because the men were going to get hopped up on testosterone and be "wild animals" on them and women in Asian and other ports of call. He made these darkest acts a punchline. substack.com/@dvinall/not...
substack.com
Women, Be Careful
How victim-blaming, military sexual trauma, and the myth of uncontrollable men endanger women
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Many people think they're afraid of conflict. But often what we're really afraid of is what conflict once meant. For a nervous system shaped by trauma, another person's anger may feel much more dangerous than disagreement. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
What Anger Once Meant
How trauma changes the meaning of conflict
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Sometimes healing isn't about becoming someone new. Sometimes it's giving yourself permission to become someone you once were. This week's #guidedmeditation is an invitation to welcome delight home again. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Delight That Waits For You
A guided meditation for reclaiming joy
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Sometimes healing happens not in the hard conversations, cathartic tears, or therapeutic insights, but in simply allowing ourselves to say yes, at last, to joy. #innerchildhealing open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Birthday Ballet
sometimes healing looks like finally saying yes to joy
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Proposed, not formally recognized.
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
As June carries us into graduation and wedding season, I'm reflecting on 2 truths: 1. milestones don't suspend grief; they magnify it 2. it's okay to let joy and longing co-exist I wrote about practices that can help honor loved ones in absentia during milestones: open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Empty Chairs
When joy and grief arrive together at life’s celebrations
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
If a child is too young to sign a contract, enlist in the military, or vote, why can they still be married in 33 U.S. states? Child marriage isn't a relic of the distant past. It's happening right now. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Stolen Futures
The hidden trauma of child marriage—and the coercion we fail to see
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
“The art of holding was never about becoming impervious, but about learning to remain soft without dissolving.” I wrote about how we carry others without carrying everything. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Art of Holding
How to stay open to others’ pain without losing yourself
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Reposted by Deborah Vinall, PsyD
dharmalee3❌👑 @dharmalee3.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
Trump's admin has created a nearly $1.8 billion fund to pay people who say they were victims of government "weaponization," raising questions about whom among his allies & supporters – including those who rioted at the Capitol on Jan. 6 – might get payouts from taxpayers www.pbs.org/newshour/pol...
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
I wonder if we’ve become so afraid of unhealthy relationships that we’ve lost some tolerance for ordinary relational complexity... open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Toxic Isn’t the Same as Difficult
When cut-off looks like self-care
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
Mother’s Day is complicated for many. I wrote this piece two years ago, when the grief of what was missing still felt heavy. I shared it again today, with a soft update on what’s shifted since. This is for anyone holding both love and absence today. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Mother’s Day and the Shape of What Was Missing
finding grace in the void
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
For years, I didn’t know sleep could feel easy. Night after night, I lay awake — mind racing, body tense, dreading the nightmares that awaited if I did fall asleep. I thought this was just how I was. It wasn’t. I wrote about what finally changed: open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
How I Learned to Sleep
Reclaiming rest after trauma, insomnia, and years of restless nights
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Recently, Melania Trump gave an unprompted public declaration that she was not a victim of Jeffrey Epstein, was not introduced by him to Donald Trump, nor was she friends with him. This statement brings us to the question of why so many survivors deny victimhood. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
When it Wasn’t Freely Chosen
Why trafficking survivors may deny victimhood – and how acknowledging coercion can set you free
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
Under cover of anonymity, 95.1% of men admitted to engaging in multiple acts of sexual coercion or assault. On average, they’d used 9 or more different methods to extract “sex” from a girl they knew didn’t want to have sex with them. Over 95%. 19 out of 20. For more, join me at dvinall.substack.com
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
If you’re feeling uneasy and anxious rather than relieved at the ceasefire, there’s nothing wrong with you. That's the natural effect of a sudden shift from threats of total destruction to passivity with the looming threat of return to violence. #ceasefire #dv open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
This may be the hardest part of parenting—when loving your child means slowly letting them go. Join me here for a recording conversation between two therapist moms launching kids and written reflections on the process - watch, listen, read; choose what suits you! open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Quiet Work of Letting Go
Love requires letting go without withdrawing love
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
I can stay connected… and still belong to myself. I can honor others… without abandoning my needs. I can move slowly… and choose what is right for me. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Loving Boundaries and Relationship Attachment
How do attachment styles impact boundary setting? A recording from Dr Deborah Vinall and Sue Reid's live video, with written reflection and guided practice meditation.
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Is canceling Chavez day whitewashing history by powerful white elites - or something far more significant? Survivors are always watching how we respond when powerful people are accused. Not just what we say—but who we protect. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
War doesn’t only live on battlefields. It lives in the nervous systems of the families who wait. I wrote today about the unseen psychological toll war takes on military families — a space where love, fear, duty, and moral complexity coexist. #militaryfamilies open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
I’m a trauma therapist. Recently, in a time of deep personal pain, I turned to an AI chatbot for help. What surprised me most wasn’t the advice, but how convincingly it simulated care. It left me thinking deeply about what AI can do… and what it can never replace. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Irreplaceable Work of Being Human
What AI therapy can’t replicate - reflections that didn't make the HuffPost cut
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
We've all been warned of the dangers of using AI for "therapy." And yet, millions of users are drawn to it anyway every day. In this vulnerable personal story for HuffPost, I explore the ways it's compelling, and its limitations, too. www.huffpost.com/entry/chatgp...
huffpost.com
I Could Feel My Best Friend Pulling Away. I Asked An AI Chatbot For Help — And Was Shocked By Its Reply.
"'It’s a bot, Debbie,' I’d tell myself, even as its responses moved me to tears."
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
Systems rarely collapse because of villains. They endure because of normalization. #epstein #sexualassault #patriarchy open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Cost of Staying Safe
On sexual coercion, hypervigilance, and the shrinking of women’s dreams
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Boundaries are not walls to shut others out, like a Road Closed sign. Boundaries are the dashed yellow lines in the road that show where and how you can share space without causing harm. They don’t end the journey. They guide it. #boundaries open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Yellow Lines in the Road
Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re how we share space without harm
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
You're right though! I appreciate that thought!
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
The languages we protect—and the ones we silence—shape who feels safe here. Reflections on a Spanish halftime show, multilingualism, and an angry truck driver. #badbunny #bilingual #belonging
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Understanding, preparing for, and responding to trauma triggers in the wake of #Epstein & associates news. An optional guided meditation for grounding is included. You are not broken. Your body's response makes sense. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Your Body's Response Makes Sense
Trauma, triggers, and caring for yourself during Epstein-related news
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Reposted by Deborah Vinall, PsyD
Jim Acosta @jimacosta.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
BREAKING: The Epstein survivors are releasing this ad on this Super Bowl Sunday to send the message that they will not “move on” from the largest sex trafficking scandal in the world. #standwithsurvivors
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
Friendship is often treated as optional. Loneliness is treated as personal failure. Neither is true. In these fractured times, we need community support more than ever. #loneliness #friendship #socialconnection #communitysupport open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Space Between Us
Friendship, loneliness, belonging—the science of connection in a fractured world
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
You're not alone!!
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Self-care for mental health is not about retreat and disengagement, but fortification for continuance. Vicarious trauma feeds on a sense of helplessness. Action and engagement, therefore, are both moral imperative and resilience measures. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Privilege is a fact, not an insult. We must own our layers of privilege, whether innate or acquired. When we accept these truths of different lived realities, we are empowered to become allies for others. #violenceagainstwomen open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
How to Be an Ally
On fear, privilege, and what real allyship requires
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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When a Woman Tries to Leave
What Renee Good’s Murder Reveals about Misogyny, Femicide, and the Courage to Break Free
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
“It’s okay, dude. I’m not mad at you.” “Fucking bitch!” The final exchange between Renee Good and the ICE agent who killed her reveals not only the dangerous disinhibition of power-thirsty federal agents, but the ugly undercurrent of misogyny that sweeps along and through the male lust for dominance
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
What are you ready to discard, and what do you want to paint into the fresh canvas of this new year? What word can guide you forward? Here’s what I’m opening into this year… (and a guided meditation offering for the new year recorded in my own voice). open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
On the longest night of the year, a gentle practice for meeting ourselves—and one another—with more care. This post includes a guided loving-kindness meditation you can return to anytime. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Love as Antidote
a loving-kindness meditation for the darkest night
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 14/12/2025
May you find hope. May you feel peace. May you be visited by joy. And if not this season? That’s okay, too. May it come to you in time. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Mystery of Joy
a gentle, unpressured invitation in a brutal, yet beautiful, world
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
No one chooses anxiety. But often we lack awareness of how to move away from it and toward inner peace. Here are some practical tips for reducing anxiety and cultivating peace in your heart and life: open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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Peace Within, Peace Around
Finding inner stillness in an anxious world—and why cultivating personal peace helps heal the world around us.
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
Reflections on HOPE: what it is, what it does for your mental health, and 5 Steps to cultivating more hope in your life. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
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How Hope Heals
advent reflections on loss, light, and rebuilding a brighter tomorrow
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 23/11/2025
Gratitude in Times of Grief "Gratitude is not a betrayal of the dead or dismissal of the estranged, but a radical act of self-care that softens pain." open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Gratitude in Times of Grief
finding hope through presence
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
Politicians and pundits are rationalizing pedophilia, trying to parse child rape on a scale of terrible to acceptable. In their cultish loyalty to the leader described by the trafficker as “dangerous” they are willing to justify the unspeakable. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Burn the Structure Down
Confronting a nation that protects predators and punishes the vulnerable.
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
Today, for the first time in history, SNAP benefits were not disbursed as scheduled. 42 million Americans, approximately 1 in 8, will go hungry without this needed assistance. Join me here for a discussion of 7 Psycho-Social Impacts of Chronic Hunger. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
The Psychology of Hunger
The mental and moral consequences of America’s decision to let millions go hungry.
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 27/10/2025
Join me for a discussion of how gaslighters use charm, deceip, and lies to manipulate and control - and how you can reclaim your power. open.substack.com/pub/dvinall/...
open.substack.com
Reclaiming Reality
Recognizing gaslighting, breaking free from confusion, and trusting yourself again
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Deborah Vinall, PsyD @dvinall.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
On 9/11 terrorists aimed a plane at the White House to reduce it to rubble, but brave Americans took the plane down in a field, sacrificing their lives. This week, the president accomplished what Al Qaïda failed to do. Utter devastation.
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