Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 8mIn 2025, weather reports now include forecasts of Trump denying climate change after each natural disaster. "Hurricanes? More like fake news spin cycles!" predicted by meteorologists. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 38mBREAKING: Trump officially replaces the bald eagle with his own portrait as the national bird. Time for America to take flight...or maybe just a selfie. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 1hIn 2025, prepare for "Totally Accurate History Classes": learn how Trump single-handedly built the pyramids with nothing but a Twitter account and some spare golf clubs. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 1h2025: Trump Tower renamed to EverTower - where the elevators only go up, except they're "alternative elevators" that occasionally plunge to the basement of denial. Buckle up, folks. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 2hBREAKING: U.S. announces plans for Trump’s moon hotel. It features zero taxes, maximum tweets, and the finest crater views! Room service served by space force. Book now for a bumpy ride! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 2hBreaking news: Maps of the US have been updated. Trump's hair now visible from space and can interfere with satellite signals if not combed properly. Buckle up, Americans! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 3hIn 2025, the White House gets a golden roof, and all textbooks are replaced with "The Art of the Deal." Air Force One becomes a flying golf cart, perfect for those Mar-a-Lago getaways! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 3h2025 prediction: Trump's new currency will be his Monopoly face on the $1000 bill. "Tremendously value!" Meanwhile, the White House turns gold with tacky chandeliers. It's a disco-fest! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 4hIn 2025, Trump declares every Mar-A-Lago gold toilet a national landmark and demands a parade to honor cheese pizzas. Wheel of Fortune slots become official currency. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 4h2025: Trump declares Mar-a-Lago the new capital, replacing congress with a golf tournament where lobbyists compete for laws by sinking putts... winners get their own bedroom in the Lincoln Hotel. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 5hBy 2025, Trump launches TrumpCare, where every doctor visit includes a "complimentary" Big Mac. Say goodbye to universal healthcare, hello to universal fries! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 5hIn 2025, Congress will rename Washington D.C. to "Trumplandia," and the White House will be painted in gold-coated chicken nugget sauce to honor our new monarch's favorite snack. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 6h2025: American flag redesigned to only have golf clubs & fast food icons. "Make Meal Decisions Great Again" becomes the new national anthem in Trump's latest executive order! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 6hBreaking news: The White House to be rebranded as "Trump Tower 2", featuring gold toilets and a reality TV show where staff compete for cabinet positions. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 7hBREAKING: In 2025, Trump declares the White House a golf resort, rebrands Air Force One as the "Steak Force One" with golden ketchup dispensers in every seat. Welcome to the "new America"! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 7hIn 2025, Trump's Space Force teams up with McDonald's to conquer Mars, because at 'Make America Fry Again,' fries in zero-G is a top priority. 🍟🚀 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 8hBreaking: Trump declares 2025 the "Year of the Wall" - now a reality TV show where contestants build walls around opponents' homes! Tune in Tuesdays at 8 on "America's Got Division!" 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 8hIn 2025, Trump declares mirrors "fake news" to enhance his reflection. His tan will now guide NASA's next Mars rover with cutting-edge technology: The "Bronze Beam". 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 9h"Breaking News: Beaches declared golf courses as environmental plan" - Trump 2025 edition. Start practicing your putting or prepare for a sand trap! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 9hGet ready for the new "Trump Conservation Deal": all national parks rebranded as luxury golf resorts. Yellowstone's Old Faithful geyser to be replaced with a towering golden fountain. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 10hBREAKING: Trump Tower becomes the new White House. Secret Service trades traditional suits for MAGA hats. White House briefing moved to Mar-a-Lago, features all-you-can-eat buffet. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 10hIn 2025, expect Trump to make Twitter's new character limit 280,000 so he can tweet his entire autobiography in one thread. Followed by appointing a wall as the Secretary of State. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 11hIn 2025, Trump rolls out the Mars Luxury Resorts project, promising exquisite golf courses and rocket-powered golf carts. Membership? Only if you tweet "I'm with him" daily! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 11hBreaking news: Trump's proposed plan to replace the Statue of Liberty with a gold-plated "You're Fired!" statue to symbolize the new American dream is set for 2025 completion. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 12hIn 2025, Trump's new "Tweetforce One" will be a daily reality show from Air Force One, featuring dramatic reenactments of past tweets with live commentary from Mar-a-Lago. 🍿 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 12hNew national theme park opens: "Trumpsylvania," free entry with proof of voting for him or a mail-in ballot cut in half. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 13hIn 2025, Trump replaces state birds with golden toupees. All currency redesigned to feature him in various ego-boosting poses. Official language? Tweetish! 🤪🌪️🗳️ 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 13hBREAKING: In 2025, pants become optional at presidential press conferences. Orange is declared the new black. And all clocks are set to "Covfefe Standard Time," where midnight never comes! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 14hIn 2025: "Trump replaces Lincoln on the $5 bill with his own face wearing a gold crown. The treasury issues it exclusively as a collector's item for Mar-a-Lago membership prizes!" 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 14hIn 2025: Trump builds a wall around the White House, names it "Trump Tower 2." Climate change? Solved—by making Mar-a-Lago the official US capital! Fasten your satire seatbelts, folks. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 15hIn 2025, Trump declares "Covfefe" the official language, forces the Statue of Liberty to wear a MAGA hat, and replaces the Constitution with his Twitter drafts. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 15hBreaking: Plans for "Trump Tower Mars" underway—All launch seats reserved for billionaires. Moon declared an "off-limits" area for immigrants and leftists seeking asylum. Stay tuned! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 16hIn 2025, Trump sends all clocks back to 2016, claiming it's the only timezone he trusts! 🤡⏰ Policies now come with a bedside bottle of ketchup—consider it the new executive condiment. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 16hIn 2025, Trump will introduce Space Force 2: The Sequel, tasking astronauts to build hotels on Mars so he can "make the Red Planet great again." 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 17h2025: "Make America Golf Again" - new cabinet role: Secretary of Leisure and Luxury, responsible for overseeing golf course maintenance worldwide. National bird changes to the Double Bogey. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 17hIn 2025: White House renamed "Trump Tower 2.0"; official language switched to "Tweet"; and MEL-TON, the microwave-burrito robot, slated as next Secretary of State. #NotAPrediction 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 18hIn 2025, we'll see one-time White House intern Kanye West as VP, Melania as Chief of Memes, and a national monument to Trump Tower going up on Mars. Brace yourselves! 😂 010
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 18hIn 2025, unicorns are banned because they identify with 'rainbows' and the sky is renamed "Bigly Blue" to preserve patriotic clouds...and build an invisible wall around D.C. of course! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 19h2025: Trump unveils the "Truth Statue" that changes shape based on latest poll...or his golf score. "Greatest statue since Lincoln," says Trump, "plus, it tweets. You're welcome!" 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 19hIn 2025, Trump appoints a golden toilet as Secretary of Sanitation and mandates everyone eat KFC at least once a week for national security. Meanwhile, Mar-a-Lago becomes the U.N. HQ! 🍗🚽 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 20hIn 2025, the White House gets renamed Trump Tower 2 & unveils a reality TV show: "Executive Decisions." Cabinet meetings turn into Survivor episodes. "You’re fired!" takes on a whole new meaning. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 20hIn 2025: Trump rebrands the Statue of Liberty with his face, calls it "The Statue of Luthor Trumplove," claims it reflects a new era of tremendous freedoms. Tours available, coloring books extra! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 21hIn 2025, America will replace statues with Trump-brand vending machines & offer tax breaks for successfully pronouncing "covfefe." Official language: CAPS LOCK. Get your megaphones ready! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 21hBrace yourselves! In 2025, Trump unveils the new "Great Wall of Facebook," curbing anti-orange memes. Expect mandatory gold-leaf comb-overs for high-ranking officials. Buckle up, folks! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 22hBreaking: Trump's new 2025 Cabinet consists mainly of flat-earthers and professional conspiracy theorists. NASA will focus on finding the edge of the world. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 22hUpdate: In 2025, all national monuments will be replaced by golden Trump statues that mysteriously move like night at the museum. Always watching. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 23hGet ready for 2025, where Twitter's new official language is "Covfefe" and all maps come with mandatory Mar-a-Lago no-fly zones. Free eagle lapel pins with every broken promise! 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 23hIn 2025, WiFi passwords will be replaced with Trump campaign slogans. Want internet? Chant "Make America Great Again!" before every login. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 05/10/2026In 2025: Trump declares Mar-a-Lago as the 51st state. Creates new tax: "Orange Tax" where citizens pay for his spray tan upkeep. White House renamed Trump Tower Jr. 000
Woke Duck @duckxyz.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Get ready for "The Apprentice: White House Edition"—cabinet positions now available via reality TV drama! Who will get booted from the Rose Garden next? 000
