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Don Dudding

@drrhetoric.bsky.social

60 followers 63 following 846 posts

Retired English teacher now daily webcomic cartoonist

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 16h

Ghost Twain (pt 3). #webcomics #comicsky

Petro the Dinosaur looks excited as he says to Gravystains, the aging hippie, and the ghost of Mark Twain, Did you just conjure the ghost of Mark Twain? Graystains replies Oh, good, you can see him too. The ghost of Mark Twain says Now, don't be too hasty in accepting my spectral apparition. The rumors of my ghostly return could be widely exaggerated.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Ghost Twain (pt 2). #webcomics #comicsky

Gravystains the aging hippie is sitting next to the ghost of Mark Twain, and asks Are you really the ghost of Mark Twain or am I having a powerful drug flashback? The ghost replies Could be both, right? I could be the actual ghost of Mark Twain, and you could still be hallucinating. Gravystains looks surprised and says Wow, who knew years of abusing mind-altering chemicals could have such long-term consequences?

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Ghost Twain (pt 1). #webcomics #comicsky

Graystains the aging hippie is sitting in a booth with Petro the Dinosaur. Petro asks What'cha doing, Gravystains? Gravystains replies I'm playing with a Ouija board just to see who might show up. Petro says I don't think that's a very good idea. Suddenly, the ghost of Mark Twain appears and says I couldn't agree more. You don't know what riffraff might blink in from nowhere.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

He was a brimstone, alright. #webcomic #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is setting next to the Widow Dumpty and says Hey, Shelly Dumpty. You're back. Shelly Dumpty replies Yeah, I'm here because I've been missing Humpty a lot lately. Beans says Aww . . . and this place you two used to go together? Shelly say No, but Pomo's faintly smells like a bad egg, so it reminds me of him.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Feedback. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is driving a car with her friend, Petro the Dinosaur riding in the passenger seat and says I think your one star review of that restaurant was a bit harsh. Petro replies Okay, but did you see the way that waitress looked at me? Beans asks Was that when you ordered hot water so you could make soup from their ketchup? Or the third time you asked her to bring you more free crackers?

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Reoccurring. #webcomics #comicsky

Gravystains is telling a story to his friend, Petro the Dinosaur and says I started using this app that searches for paid subscriptions that have been forgotten about. I found a $25 monthly charge for a new age website I'd never even been to. I called customer service to complain about being charged for something I never signed up for. The guy on the phone claimed I'd been reincarnated and had signed up during a previous life time.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Java Jabber. #webcomics #comicsky

Gravystains the aging hippie says to Beans, his unicorn friend, Do you keep track of how many cups of coffee you drink every day? Or do you just wait until the caffeine lets you know you've had too much? Beans replies I suppose if I haven't started trembling yet, I'm good for another cup. Gravystains says It's like you've got an internal seismograph that tells you when to quit.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

You had one job. #webcomic #comicsky

Gravystains the aging hippie is sitting in a booth with his friend, Petro the Dinosaur. Gravystains says I bought a new toaster and it's supposed to be a "smart appliance." Petro asks What the heck is the heck is that supposed to mean? Gravystains replies I don't know, but I liked my old toaster better. It never gave me its opinion on the type of bread I put into it.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Magic Maximum. #webcomics #comicsky

Coach Suckitup says to Beans the Unicorn So here's what I told the team Friday night when we were down by seven at halftime. They never gave a Nobel Prize to the guy who invented athletic tape, but the last guy to use it won a Heisman. Beans the Unicorn replies Nice, Coach. I like it. It's pity, profound, and totally incomprehensible.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

It's all relative. #webcomics #comicsky

Gravystains the aging hippie is listening to Zeno the Robot who says Albert Einstein once said, "Logic will get you from A to Z; Imagination will get you everywhere." Gravystains replies I've always admired Einstein's ability to do all that theoretical stuff, but even more than his contributions to the field of math and physics, I am in awe of his ability to go years without wasting time with a hair brush.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Verification. #webcomics #comicsky

Gravystains the aging hippie is sitting with Petro the Dinosaur (who has his laptop open in front of him). Petro says Call me a dinosaur, but I hate being made to change passwords to log in to stuff. Gravystains says Okay, but you are a dinosaur, right? Petro replies First, it was use a capital letter. Then it was add at least one number. Then it was mix in a symbol. Now it wants me to go get a matching tattoo.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Right as rain. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn, Zeno the Robot, and Gravystains the aging hippie are sitting at the bar and Beans says Hey Zeno, what's the forecast for tomorrow's weather? Zeno replies It's undetermined. It's still up in the air. Gravystains says I suppose that's what you call a "robot joke", right?

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Here We Are Now. #webcomics #comicsky

Zeno the Robot is sitting in a booth talking to aging hippie Gravystains, and says So Gravystains, I'm curious. Did you make a conscious decision to stop using deodorant or did you just never start? Gravystains replies I'll tell you if you answer my question first. Were you wired to function without empathy or did your flip that switch off later?

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Okay, but why should Zula quit? He's still a head.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

The Horn Identity fini. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is talking to an angry narwhal. Beans says You really thought you could get away with making an anti-unicorn propaganda film? The narwhal replies Eh, it was worth a shot. Narwhal's gotta narwhal. I only came in today to find out how you got the director to change his mind. Beans says It turns out he cares more about preserving his own reputation than in trashing mine. Go figure.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt 14. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is arguing with Tim Burntout and says So there's a price you're willing to take to spread lies, but no one can pay you to tell the truth? Burntout replies Look, after this project is over, I'll give you my price to make a film smearing the narwhals. Beans looks sweetly at Burntout and says That won't be necessary. I've had Zeno recording this entire conversation. Burnout looks stunned as Zeno holds up his phone. Zeno the Robot adds And I've already edited it into everything you filmed last week. Call it "Zeno's Cut."

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt13. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is arguing with Tim Burntout, a documentary director who tricked her into a film financed by Narwhals. Beans says So how much did the narwhals pay you to smear unicorns in this movie? Burntout replies What's it matter to you? It's a done deal. The money is already sitting in my bank account. Beans sneers I just want to know what your price is for spreading lies. Burntout says IF you think you can make a counteroffer, forget it. Once I'm bought, I stay bought.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt12. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is arguing with Tim Burntout, the director of a film she was tricked into. Beans looks angry as she says I can't believe this whole movie eal was nothing but a nefarious narwhal plot! Don't you have any scruples? Whatever happened to artistic integrity? Burntout replies If you think you're angry now, just wait til the film hits Netflix. Beans responds But you're not exposing unicorns. You're only exposing what a sellout you are!

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt11. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is sitting in a booth talking to Zeno the Robot. Beans looks upset and says You should have told me that I was being setup by some evil narwhals! Zeno calmly replies I explained that I couldn't say anything until you figured it out for yourself. Beans says But you let me shoot a whole movie before I could figure it out. Zeno gets a determined look on his face and says Well, you might be surprised by how much can happen between filming and final cut.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt10. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is complaining to Film Director Tim Burntout and says I can't believe how rude and confrontational you became after we started filming. Burntout replies Hey, I just do what I'm paid to do. I made some promises to my financial backers. Beans asks Don't tell me. You're funded by narwhals, right? Suddenly, a narwhal appears to the left of them and blurts out And who were you expecting? Some wealthy baby seals?

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt9. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is being interviewed for a documentary by director Tim Burntout, and says angrily I'm starting to think your questions are only meant to make me look bad. Burntout replies Or maybe they're doing their job of showing the audience who you really are. Beans says defensively What's your problem with me anyway? This isn't what you led me to expect when I agreed to do this. Burntout says Well, maybe not everyone loves unicorns the way you expect everyone to love unicorns.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt8. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is on a movie set with documentary director, Tim Burntout. Burntout asks So how many cups of coffee would you say you drink a day? Beans replies Well, that's hard to say. I always just refill my cup before it's completely empty. So it's like one cup, but one really big cup. Does that make sense? Burntout replies So is it just you or do all unicorns struggle with math and/or telling the truth?

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt7. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is sitting on a movie set with film director, Tim Burntout, and Burntout says So Beans, is your horn always so, uh, floppy? Isn't there something you could do to make it a little more, uh, pointy? Beans looks annoyed and replies It's not something I spend any time thinking about. Is it a problem? Burntout says Well, I want you to look natural, but sometimes nature needs a little spray starch.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt6. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is sitting in a booth talking to her friend, Zeno the Robot. Beans says So I met with that documentary director and we start shooting tomorrow. Are you sure there isn't something you want to tell me before I get started with this film? Zeno replies Just commit to being yourself. That's all you have to do. Be yourself. Beans responds Okay, I guess it's too late to get someone else to that for me.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt5. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is sitting next to a man in a funny purple outfit and wearing a beret. Beans says You must be the film director I'm supposed to be meeting with today. The man replies And you must be Beans the Unicorn. Tim Burntout at your service. Beans says I'm excited to get started. What makes you want to make a documentary about unicorns? Burntout replies I just think it's time we dispel the greatest myths about being mythical.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

The Horned Identity pt4. #webcomics #comicsky

In today's comic, Beans the Unicorn is playing a video game on a couch with her friend, Zeno the Robot. Beans says So I'm meeting with that film director tomorrow. Are you sure you can't give me any hints about how this is going to turn out? Zeno replies All I can say, Beans, is that it will turn out exactly as it's meant to turn out. Beans looks a little miffed and says And you crossed how many light years to come here to tell me that?

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt3. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn looks a bit dejected and Petro the Dinosaur says to her, What's wrong, Beans? You look really upset. Beans replies Well, I'm supposed to meet some film director about doing a movie about me. Zeno claims he's already watched it in the future, but he won't tell me anything about it. Petro replies He's probably just worried you'll really screw it up if you find out how bad it is.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt 2. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is talking to Zeno the Robot and says So, as a time traveller who's already seen this film about me that hasn't been made yet. Can you please give me some advice on what to say in the film? Zeno replies Not without creating a paradox that could potentially dismantle reality as we know it. Beans adds What if I pouted and stuck out my lower lip? Would that change your mind?

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

The Horn Identity pt 1. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is sitting in a booth (across from Zeno the Robot) and says The most amazing thing happened to me this weekend! Beans goes on to say I heard from a film director who is about to make a documentary on unicorns. Beans looks really excited as she says Guess who he wants to feature as his star unicorn? Zeno replies As a time traveller, you know I've already seen this movie, right?

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Who wants it more? #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is sitting next to a coach she doesn't recognize and says Well, it's back to school time, and you are? The Coach replies I'm Coach Suckitup, the new high school P.E. teacher. Beans asks So what are you teaching the young'uns this year? The Coach replies Participation is more important than winning, but you're not participating if we're losing.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Modern Problems Require Modern Solutions. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn and Gravystains the aging hippie listen to Petro the Dinosaur as he says to his phone I don't want to speak to AI. Please connect me to a human. In the second panel, the phone replies This is customer service. I'm Frank. How can I help you? Petro responds Finally a human. Hey Frank, I have a question about a new random charge on my bill. In the fourth panel, we see all three characters again, and the phone says Okay, no problem. Just hold on a second while I ask my AI about it.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Whoa, ho, ho. #webcomics #comicsky

Gravystains the aging hippie is talking to his friend Petro the Dinosaur (in the first three panels we only see Gravystains). Gravystains says I used to have a job cutting strings at a yo-yo factory. I hated it. They'd lay me off, and then they'd pull me back me. Then they'd lay me off, and then they'd pull me back. Petro says Wait! Wait! When you finally quit, you became a dog walker. Am I right?

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Generally Depressin', Low Down Mind Messin'. #webcomics #comicsky

Zeno the Robot is talking to his friend, Petro the Dinosaur, and says You're not working at the car wash anymore? I thought you liked that job. Petro replies I liked it well enough, but my coworkers were a real drag. Always complaining about wanting to do something more with their lives. But they weren't willing to do anything about it. So wishy-washy.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Zeitgeist. #webcomics #comicsky

In the first panel, Zeno the Robot is sitting in a booth and says The difference between what is moral and what is legal depends entirely on who's writing the laws. In the second panel, we see that Zeno is talking to his friend, Gravystains the aging hippie; Zeno says Something can be legal while still being immoral, and something can be moral while still being illegal. In the third panel, Gravystains replies by saying I think I can catch your whiff, my alpha-geek homeskillet. In the fourth panel, Gravystains says I used to get arrested all the time for stuff they now put into gummy bears.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot fini. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is talking to the Repairman and says Even if your fees are going to take two millennia for Zeno to pay off, we are grateful you were able to give us our old friend back. (We seI don't Zeno smiling and sitting next to Beans.) The Repairman says I know it's a lot of credits, but I don't do this just for the money. I also like charging for repairs so technical that nobody can tell if I'm ripping them off.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 14. #webcomics #comicsky

Zeno the Robot is sitting next to his Repairman and says I guess I have no choice but to pay this bill or you'll remotely disengage everything you repaired. The Repairman replies See how much smarter you're sounding? I detached your reboot button so this couldn't happen again. No extra charge. Zeno says But you're going to charge me to reattach it after the warranty expires, correct? The Repairman says Probably.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 13. #webcomics #comicsky

Zeno the Robot is looking at a Repairman (who is hold up a clipboard) and says Oh Great Gadzooks! Your prices are astronomical! The Repairman replies And worth every credit. Am I right? Zeno takes the clipboard and as he peruses the bill, he says You even charged me for that gratuitous blow to the head. The Repairman replies Percussive maintenance isn't just any old head wack. It takes special expertise to know how hard I can hit you.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 12. #webcomics #comicsky

In the first panel, we see the Repairman hit Zeno the Robot in the back of the head with a huge wrench. It makes a "twack" noise. In the second panel, the repairman says There ya go. Good as new! Zeno responds by saying I remember who I am and where I am, but was that blow to the head really necessary? In the fourth panel the camera pulls back and we see Beans the Unicorn, Zeno, the Repairman, and Petro the Dinosaur. The Repairman says That wasn't to fix you. That was to prepare you for looking at your bill.

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 11. #webcomics #comicsky

In the first panel, we see Petro the Dinosaur sitting next to Gravystains the aging hippie. Gravystains says Zeno, I know you don't remember if you can trust us or not. In the second panel, we see that Beans the Unicorn and Zeno the Robot is sitting across the booth from Petro and Gravystains, and Petro says But that service tech who's come to fix you is absolutely looking to rip you off. In the third panel, Zeno is sitting next to Beans the Unicorn and says Unfortunately, until I get my memory repaired, I'm not sure what I can do about it. In the fourth panel, Beans says My mither used to say, "Education may be expensive, but ignorance is really gonna cost ya."

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 10. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is sitting with a robot repairman and asks So has Zeno decided to authorize all the repairs you're recommending or just have his memory fixed? The Repairman replies Well, he was going to go just with the memory repair, but I changed his mind on that. Beans looks skeptical and asks How'd you do that? The Repairman replies Easy. I disengaged his skepticism filter and cranked up his gullibility aperture.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 9. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn sits next to Zeno the Robot and listens as Zeno says to his Repairman Can I just get my memory fixed before agreeing to all these other repairs? The Repairman replies Well, I guess you could, but you're going to miss out on what we call "The Package Discount". The camera pulls back to show Beans, Zeno, the Repairman, and Petro the Dinosaur listening as Zeno asks The Package Discount? In the fourth panel, the Repairman says Yeah, you see if I can't upsell you on all this other stuff, I'm going to have to overcharge you for that one thing you want.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 8. #webcomics #comicsky

In the first panel, Zeno the Robot is listening to a Repairman as he says Okay, the memory restore is simple enough, but diagnostics are showing lots of problems. In the second panel, we see that Beans the Unicorn is also listening as the Repairman says We're looking at a worn quantum capacitor, an obsolete warp core, and a leaking chrono-flux gasket. In the third panel, Beans says to Zeno Sounds like he's making stuff up. Do you think he's padding the bill? In the fourth panel, Zeno says I can't say until I get my memory fixed. I don't even know who that Bill guy is.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 7. #webcomics #comicsky

Zeno the Robot is being examined by a Repairman, and the Repairman says Let me get this straight. You're friends with a dinosaur and a unicorn? Zeno replies I've been told I'm also quite congenial with an aging, shamanic hippie as well. The Repairman looks at his tricorder and says ooh, that sounds like it's gonna cost you. Zeno asks To remember my friends? The Repairman replies To upgrade your social echelon filter.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 6. #webcomics #comicsky

Zeno the Robot is being examined by a Repairman while Petro the Dinosaur watches. The Repairman asks So, how much time have you spent in this location? Zeno replies I think you're going to have to restore some of my ROM to answer that. The Repairman says to Petro, Could get expensive. How much of this place does he need to remember? Petro replies Look around, dude. How much of this place could there be to remember?

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt5. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn sees an unfamiliar repairman and says Can I help you? The Repairman holds up a clipboard and says Yeah, I got an invoice here to diagnose a mantic neural doohickey on a 5021 mechanoid. Beans replies Oh, you're here to repair my friend Zeno from an accidental factory reboot. The Repairman says Gotcha. Should be an easy fix unless his OS is obsolete or he's friends with a dinosaur.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 4. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn and Petro the Dinosaur are listening to a voice over a cellphone, and the phone says You've reached Galactic Logistics and Dry Cleaning. Push One to check if your clothes are ready for pickup. Push Two if one of your idiot cronies has pushed a reset button on your robot friend. Petro responds Really? That's in their top two menu choices?

Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt. 3. #webcomics #comicsky

Beans the Unicorn is standing next to Petro the Dinosaur who is looking at their friend, Zeno the Robot. Zeno looks dejected. Beans says to Petro You completely erased Zeno's memories? How are we supposed to fix this? Petro replies Well, there's a "contract service" button next to the one I pushed. Should we push that one too? Zeno says Don't ask me. I don't remember him pushing the first button. Petro says Hey Beans, why don't you push that one? I'd rather not be held responsible for what happens this time.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 2. #webcomics #comicsky

Petro the Dinosaur is looking worriedly at his friend, Zeno the Robot, and Zeno says Who are you? What's going on here? Petro replies I'm Petro. I'm your best friend, and I may have accidentally rebooted your memories. Zeno is skeptical and says If all of that is true, why would someone who's my friend erase all my memories? Petro says Welp, you're having memory troubles so you probably don't remember you're not very good at picking your friends.

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Zeno's Reboot pt 1. #webcomics #comicsky

Petro the Dinosaur is standing slightly behind his friend, Zeno the Robot, and says You have a funny red button on your back I've never noticed before. Zeno replies Please don't touch that. It's an emergency factory reboot. Suddenly, there's a click. Petro says I wish you'd told me that before I pushed it to see what would happen. After Zeno's eyes stop spinning, he says Before I told you what? Do I know you? Petro says Ooops!

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Don Dudding @drrhetoric.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Squirrel Girl and Swamp Thing