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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/10/2026

I’d like to speak to the 5% who will do it for free. 😉❤️😉

Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/10/2026

For a school assignment, my son has one of those robotic babies, and he has to keep it alive all weekend. I just picked him up for school. Now keep in mind, I’m not white, but I look like I’m white. My son is white. The baby they gave him is black. I looked at the baby. Then I looked at my son […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/10/2026

This happened on the same day as my previous post about one of my interns wanting to use the pride month signature. Our whole department was having a discussion, and I looked around the room, and noticed something about several of the people that report to me and that I directly hired […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 08/10/2026

It’s 2026. Why haven’t we moved the apostrophe away from the Enter key yet???

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 08/10/2026

One of my new interns asked me if they could use the “pride month” signature in their emails. I said sure. They said “even though it’s not pride month?” I said “are you still proud?” They laughed and said yes. I said then you can use it. They sat back in their chair and quietly said “fuck yeah” […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 08/10/2026

In every relationship, there’s one person who does the dishes, and one person who’s “letting them soak”.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/10/2026

I’m not “napping at my desk”. I’m microdosing PTO.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/10/2026

I really hate when I get frustrated with someone who is driving poorly in front of me, and then I get to pass them, and when I look over their style of dress is from a distinctly different culture than mine. It’s like, oh great, now I’m also an accidental racist.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/10/2026

Madds: Look Eunha, I’m not bragging. You’re a virgin. My cock is just a bit too much. It’s dangerous. Watch. *he sees Jun standing by a table. He walks up behind him and spins, whacking Jun in the back of the knees with his cock and knocking him to the floor* Jun: *flat on the floor, staring at […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026

Texting with FWB: THEM: Why are you so slow to respond? ME: I’m edging THEM: Really? Seriously? ME: Uh. Yeah. THEM: Can I help 😇 ME: Sure. Come over. Don’t wear anything you care about THEM: OMG OMW! So … they are coming over to help me paint the living room, right? Because I hate edging.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 28/09/2026

Well. I joined the morning conference call at work, and almost said "goooood morning everypony." I feel like my coworkers are always on the edge of learning more about me than they want to know.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 26/09/2026

“I suggest a modification to FWB. I call it FWBJ.” Me: “Friends with Blow Jobs?” *nodding* Me: “I’m so here for this.”

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/09/2026

As the measles outbreak spreads in PA, and our anti-science government continues to deny the truth, I want to repeat what Dr. Robby said on The Pitt, which is absolutely true: The MMR vaccine is perfectly safe. Measles is not.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 15/09/2026

Well … anyone in the Philly Airport want to have a drink? Damn flight delays!

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/09/2026

Me showing my coworker how to configure his ComfyUI workflow for video generation. Also me dodging the question when he asks how I got so good at it. Also also me thinking about my homemade Loona porn.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/09/2026

Anyone going to be in the Chicago airport area this week and want to meet up for a drink?

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/09/2026

Instead of O’Hare, perhaps I should use the other airport. Also know as Chicago’s back door.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/09/2026

Brace yourself Chicago. I will be entering you soon.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/08/2026

One of my dogs had to have an operation on her private parts. Nothing life-threatening, just a correct anatomy so she doesn’t keep getting infections. When I picked her up, the aftercare instructions included that in one week I take a photograph and email it to the vet. I said, “I’m pretty sure […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/08/2026

How old were you when you realized that the Hufflepuffs are all pot heads? Just the name … huff … puff … and their professor is head of herbology … and their common room is next to the kitchen.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/08/2026

Ok what about an alternative milk company named “Hola!” They could make “Hola! Soy Milk”

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/08/2026

I’m mad that Yoplait (the company that makes Yo brand yogurt) never went into the soy milk business. They could have made Yo Soy Milk

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 22/07/2026

The fire station in my town caught fire. They had to call in trucks from another fire station to put it out, because the trucks from this station were caught inside the station that was on fire. Life is weird.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 12/07/2026

[Politics - Lindsay Graham] Between Lindsay Graham and soon Mitch McConnell, I feel like God almost is making up for taking RGB.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/07/2026

I was today years old when I learned where the word “soccer”came from. The game of football used to have two sets of rules: rugby rules and association rules. Teams would debate for hours over which set of rules to use everytime there was a match. Eventually teams decided if they were going to […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/07/2026

There are over 8 billion people in the world. Which means that even if you're "one in a million", there are 8,000 people just like you.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/07/2026

Interviewing the inventor of the battery: "Your first battery was named A. Then you invented the AA, the AAA, and the AAAA. Why?" "... I'm really scared of batteries."

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/07/2026

Waking my son up to take his meds: ME: Khajitt have wares, if you have coin. SON: Huh? ME: Try some skooma, human! SON: Oh god stop. ME: (leaving) Khajitt is innocent of this crime!

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 26/06/2026

Ha! You can’t hurt ME! I saw this coming. Two months ago when I was overthinking.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 21/06/2026

It’s time to burn the incense It’s time to slay the sheep. It’s time to wake the Muppets From 1,000 years of sleep.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 20/06/2026

Why isn’t “scold” the opposite of “swarm”?

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 12/06/2026

My work switched from Windows laptops to Macbooks and I have a question. What fingers do you use to do the cut/copy/paste shortcuts? On a Windows machine those are CTRL-X/C/V. That's pinky-index for me. But the command key isn't in the right place for the pinkie. So how do you do it? My muscle […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/06/2026

The lab at MaddCorp fills with smoke, which is slowly removed by the air handlers. DR.MADDKAP: Well, that didn’t work. SCIENTIST: No sir. What should we do now? DR.MADDKAP: Why don’t we load everyone onto a spaceship and go in search of the lost colonies of humanity? CLAYFACE: Ah! The Buck […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 02/06/2026

More DnD Silliness My party met Al Chemy, the Muppetborn alchemy trainer. He introduced himself like this: (Cookie Monster voice) Let me tell you story. Man walk down street. It street in strange world. Maybe it third world. Maybe it his first time around. He no speak language. Him have no […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 30/05/2026

Via text: ME: “Satisfactory” has trains. ME: TRAINS. SON: what the peak ME: IT. HAS. TRAINS. ME: It’s been great being your dad for 13 years but I’m now devoting my life to managing my trains in Satisfactory. Best of luck to you. SON: understandable

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 30/05/2026

I’m surprising my DnD group tomorrow. In the middle of the campaign, they’re about to encounter … the Muppetborn. It’s time to play the music … It’s time to light the lights … It’s time to meet the Muppetborn.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 29/05/2026

SCHOOL: Your son missed school today, and this isn't a doctor's note. ME: Yes it is. I'm a doctor. This is a note from me. SCHOOL: You're not a doctor. ME: Yes I am. I have a PhD. SCHOOL: A LICENSED doctor. ME: I have a license! (shows them my drivers license) SCHOOL: (sighs) Mr. Kaplan- […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 27/05/2026

I really feel for the Grinch. If I had people singings songs about what an asshole I was, I’d be pretty salty too.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/05/2026

[Politics - Republican Primary] This is the first time I’ve voted in the Republican Primary in 25 years. I switched my registration because I didn’t want to show up on lists as a Democrat or Independent. Just in case the country goes completely to hell and people start targeting anyone who […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/05/2026

The only way that the "uncanny valley" experience could have evolved is if at some point in our history, being able to detect when something looked mostly human but wasn't human was NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/05/2026

WONDER WOMAN: (catches Dr. Maddkap with her Lasso of Truth) Now Doctor, no more lies! DR. MADDKAP: (struggling) I used to have sex dreams about Carmen Sandiego! BATMAN: (sighs) I told you, it’s not pretty in his head.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/05/2026

I’m proud of myself. There were four large spots on my car where the paint was peeling all the way down to the metal. The body shop wanted $1200 to fix it. I did some research online, spent about $100 on paint and supplies, I did a pretty good job of it myself. You can’t tell anything was […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/05/2026

[Politics - "cease fire"?] How does this work, exactly?

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 01/05/2026

I’m pretty sure I almost got myself fired, and it completely would not have been my fault. I was sitting at the breakfast table, typing a reply to HR on my phone. I adjusted my grip on the phone and accidentally hit the microphone button - at the same moment, my wife said to one of my daughters […]

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 30/04/2026

claudesplain: When an LLM assumes you’re an idiot and explains things to you in simple terms.

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Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist @drmaddkap.meow.social.ap.brid.gy · 28/04/2026

[Politics - Conspiracy Theory Part 2] MEDIA: You people are terrible! We were all there reporting LIVE during the assassination attempt, and you still don’t think it was real! AMERICANS: What’s the shooters name? MEDIA: Umm … hang on … AMERICANS: Take your time. MEDIA: (checking notes) Hang […]

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