iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

I imagine you asleep so vividly that I must really retire in my imagination in case I wake you.

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I died of delight and let my soul rest in those sprays of starry leaves hung in the sky.

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I love you & am sad, & feel full of presentiment & foreboding: & angry, too, at your intolerant acceptance of anything but classified emotions.

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We are waiting for dinner when someone says ‘Leonard and Virginia are very late.’ The smooth waters of my mind ruffled by this unexpected remark and my heart beats perceptibly quicker.

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She has fine baby hair—your colour—brown eyes too gazelle-like—a nose that makes a quick, unimportant little bridge ... to her mouth which is small & yet sculptured—so defined that one might almost skate along the firm edge!—exquisite.

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I feel lonely and jealous—although you are everywhere in the rooms—You inhabit your empty house more powerfully with your spirit than when you walk in it in the indifferent flesh.

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Then as the evening wore on they paled to natural softness and one remarked the young wrist amongst other things. They aren’t Valentine hands like mine or petals like yours—but they have a beauty of sensitiveness and delicacy

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Mourn for me, dear, tender, heartless paradoxical amazone & mingle your love & regret!

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What fool said I was a 'poseuse'? It's too laughable. How could one be, darling? I've learnt so much that I've even lost vanity and no longer indulge in those 'emergency seductions' that I used to, where any admiration amused me.

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Your letter arrived with my breakfast tray and a beam of sunlight cuts the pages like a golden paper knife. I lit a voluptuous cigarette and in the fresh morning solitude—before the incidents of the day have broken me into segments—I read your lovely words.

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Her age struck me first, and then her prettiness—shock and delight hand in hand.

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I miss you & would much rather stay with you in cosy interchange of thought.

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Do you miss me at all? The best of lovers have something of the accountant in them and seek a slight return.

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Do you love me? I wonder. Not that it matters at all. Perhaps I shan’t even mind when you leave me—only there would could be no love-making—impossible thought

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This to convey my love to Romaine—dear Romaine! What a lovely name. I should use it all the time if I was in love with her, thus: Romaine, do you love me Romaine? & so on!

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Darling I had a lovely sleep, a lovely tea & now I am off to the uncomprehending world, powdered, painted & armed with wit.

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Tu m'as jeter un froid et j'étais infidèle—je te raconterai l'histoire à ton retour. A charming, silly beautiful woman—but it was done so stupidly & I was so shocked by my own indifference, so coldly displeased within myself, that I cried unseen penitent tears

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When you come to write “The Life & Letters” (if I should achieve fame) two salient qualities I hope you’ll stress—that I’m une grande amoureuse & a lover of Nature!!

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I seem to gather together all my love & appreciation for you the moment your back is turned, & am seized with a longing for you that leaves me empty-handed with despair.

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I am to dine with Virginia one day next week—but I dread the ordeal and she will never know what marginal notes of understanding mark every page of her books in my library.

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What are you Natalie darling? I have created you so firmly in my head—or in my heart—that reality is shocking & lacks conviction.

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If you stretched out your arms to me now, like a darling little monkey, I should give you such a hug, that would keep you warm until I saw you again.

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Oh! For a little talent & to be—like you—dispassionate amongst the things one loves!

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What shall I tell you? That I am living with Honey's Mama and Papa in a charming house in London—and once more find delight in 'family life' and her perfect companionship?

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I often think of you and regret my youthful brusqueness in the days when I was allowed to see you, and my flights of imagination turn with magnetic precision to memories of your exquisite imaginings.

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She is witty and kindly malicious.

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You're an ungrateful little monkey & I shall disentangle your arms from my neck if you aren't careful!

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My bedroom is made for two and the little white boat lies moored beneath my three windows so that any lover could just step into my room any of these moon-light nights.

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When you come to write “The Life & Letters” (if I should achieve fame) two salient qualities I hope you’ll stress—that I’m une grande amoureuse & a lover of Nature!!

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I miss you every night, and never cease to wonder—with miracles clashing round me—at my amazing good fortune in loving you.

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A week of charming companionship with her has left me like a refreshed martyr gathered up in new strength! forgetful of the pangs of torture.

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Why didn’t you give me the key so that I could be Cinderella & be with you for one minute before mid-night? I thought of it in the taxi, & frowned darling.

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A slovenly, impossible atmosphere with the constant worry of someone incapacitated through drink driving the car, arriving home hours late etc. undermined what little discipline a ‘Wilde’ possesses!!

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Feel me with open arms & love your faithful Dolly

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you have become such a spirit that there is no slipping a hand into your tender palm, no pressing of sister lips.

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I am in a trance & reality is only you & love.

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You don't know how you have changed me—(everyone notices it).

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Love, like inspiration, can really only be a matter of twenty minutes in the 24 hours!

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How you inhabit my thoughts—how easily you take possession of my mind, subjugating me.

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At first they looked like delicate but capable hands with all their beauty frost-bitten by the cold outside so that they had a certain touching awkwardness and redness.

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I accept all from people I like—but nothing from people I don’t like

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I cannot understand unnecessary unkindness and complications. I accept everything with such 'défaitisme' that I fear all emotions will soon be dead and that I shall soon not have the strength to stretch out a hand to any would-be saviour.

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I should be awkward with you for days unless I could rush into your arms & be made whole.

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