iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Headlines from the near future: Thousands of children hospitalized as Target (tm) exclusive Harry Potter themed treats found to contain arsenic, broken glass.

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

THREE WORDS THAT WILL CHANGE HOW YOU COOK AND EAT SCALLOPS FOREVER: “up the butt”

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Didn’t have this on my 2026 bingo card, but I guess fuck Ed Sheeran

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

A group of skiers is a pterodactyl. A group of political centrists is called a handjob. A group of slinkys is called a cascade. A group of writers is called a press. A group of bonobos is called a cavalcade. A group of stevedores is called a knot. A group of cardinals is called a phlebotomy.

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Asking black cops if they identify more as race-traitors or class-traitors

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Icebreakers to try at work parties: -what’s the worst thing you’ve ever stepped in? -can you explain shame to me? -DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES? -what’s your favorite Bill Cosby joke? -any recent infections?

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Really tired of the “which 80yo dies today?” slot machine results

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

You’ve been wearing your oversized tees wrong this whole time! The head goes through the central hole and the the arms go through the two lateral holes

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Protect your account from phishing attacks ClIcKHeREtOLeARNMoRE.com

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Bonus points if you can talk your psychotherapist in killing themself. Double bonus points if you can talk your physical therapist into killing themself.

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Bringing a little bit too much “fuck you I yield the remainder of my time” energy to most conversations I have recently

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

“Soy latte”? Um baby, eres a person not a drink

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

More caution about language use: calling something a “rip off” is prejudiced against dudes who have accidentally ripped their wieners off.

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Everyone remembers the Harambe tragedy at the Cincinnati Zoo, but it’s a lesser-known fact that the child who fell into the cage was JD Vance

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

That wasn’t very “heart of the cards” of you

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

The reason they assassinated princess Di was because she spoke truth to power. For example, the way the queen spoke, she might say “I must excuse myself to use the washroom” but the princess would say “I have to go spray piss and shit out of my cunt and ass”

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

As a society, can we agree the hold music that goes “hmmmm dadadada hmmmm tingle tinkle THANKYOUFIRYOURPATIENCEWEARECURRENTLYASSISTINGOTHERCALLWRSANDWILLBEWITHYOUSHORTLY dadada hmmmmting ting ting” can skip the jump scare loud man’s voice?

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Just crying and watching videos of John Cena interacting with fans before I hop onto a zoom call real quick to give an international lecture in my neurology subspecialty

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

You don’t need to manually tenderize kale. Simply soak it in a warm water bowl for 70 million years www.instagram.com/reel/DblF2u7...

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

YouTube unboxing video except it’s just a guy committing seppuku

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Fun new insult: you have a very “passionate about Alcoholics Anonymous vibe”

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

I interrupted a work dinner meeting (with pretty significant long term career consequences) to go look at an owl in a tree

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Oh no! How did you discover it!? The perineum, my one weakness!

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

“Has anyone considered involving Voltron?” -me in a serious meeting

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

How come no one has done it by now?

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

If you explain something and the follow up by saying “hope this helps,” I hope you break both your legs

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

A tier: holding the door at Chili’s for an old lady in a walker even though she’s far away. S tier: holding the door at Chili’s for an old lady in a walker ever though she’s far away and motioning for her to hurry up while also yelling “come on come on come on”

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

Psychology fun fact: serial killers and high powered CEOs who scored high on measures of psychopathy on personality inventories administered during childhood were 100% more likely to have undergone childhood personality testing than non-participants.

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Tattoo in the elevator “请坐” meaning “please sit” like you would say to a guest or restaurant patron

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Overheard in clinic: “every time I get sick I end up feeling really bad”

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your little 3D printed toys fucking suck

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Happy Independence Day to the greatest country in America

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

Inside me there are two wolves fucking

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Walmart, your pre-cut mangoes are BAD and you should be ASHAMED

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Damn I sure wish there were some way to gamble on the World Cup. Alas…

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

New TikTok trend: getting “mice and mened” Just let me hold the bunny

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

Disappointed. Went to another hardware store and this one also didn’t have leopard print paint.

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

“Large Cortado” would be a great rap name in the vein of Biggie Smalls

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Fuck your “heart rate variability”

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Got an advance publication of a contemporary American history book. Pretty well written but strange stylistic choice to keep calling it “the first civil war”

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Thinking about stochastic identity like “that’s such a girl dad thing to do.” It’s a coin flip. Call me back when you and another person both have girl girl girl girl girl boy girl boy boy girl boy boy girl girl and use it to explain your 0.0000610352 likelihood behaviors

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

A Father’s Day gift he’ll actually use

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Mental health win: only cried twice today

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

I’m preparing a presentation. Please send me the reason you personally hate AI

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DoctorWolfBoy @doctorwolfboy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Give me a place to stand and a hammer long enough…

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