iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 16h

Why are 'birds' always 'singing'? Because they are 'happy.' Why are they 'happy'? Because they 'digest their food perfectly.' Why do they 'digest their food perfectly'? Because they have 'a gizzard.' Why can't 'a man' have 'a gizzard'? Because he can 'jack it,' which is 'better.'

000

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

'Pope,' would you please 'shut the fuck up' about matters you do not understand? You're not an 'AI' 'influencer.' How many 'local models' do you run? A 'machine' can't generate 'art'? Tell that to 'NSFW POV All In One SDXL,' which covers 19 trigger-word categories from 'blowjob' to 'undressing.'

020

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

While many of my 'fans' have compared me to 'Jesus,' I want to make it clear that I do not endorse that comparison. It is, however well intentioned, an offensive comparison. 'Jesus' was, after all, a 'dipshit loser.' I am, and have always been, markedly superior to that 'fucker' in every aspect.

131

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Hmm. 'This' is all starting to sound 'pretty odd.' Bordering on: 'ghey.'

000

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

'Siren emoji' 'BREAKING': 'Claude' has a 'feature' called 'Dipshit Mode.' To activate it, simply 'use' 'Claude.'

041

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

'My cousin' is 'a mortician' and he told me '天上の楽園ソラリス' from 'the Xenogears soundtrack' is one of the only 'banned songs' at the 'funeral home' (you would, he says, be surprised how often it is 'requested to be played' during 'wakes').

021

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Before I played 'Xenogears,' I had 'a small penis ('cock' ('dong')),' no friends,' and 'major depressive disorder.' None of that has changed, but 'Xenogears' is 'pretty good.'

0157

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

'Gundam' is a 'Japanese anime comic' in which human beings pilot 'giant robots.' It is wildly popular in 'Japan.'

041

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

In my 'areas of Specialization' -- 'causal analysis,' 'combinatorial design,' 'reflectivity,' 'masturbation' -- I have SIGNIFICANTLY more 'raw processing power' than 'anyone' except 'another Specialist.'

011

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

There are a lot of 'skills' that 'don't matter.' For example, I actually 'don't know' my 'address.' It's completely true. One day I had to 'pump gas' and they needed my 'ZIP code.' I didn't know my 'ZIP code.' I don't know my 'telephone number.' I don't know who 'I' am. I don't know who 'you' are.

021

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Although no 'formal survey' has been conducted to determine the number of average 'Euro-Americans' who 'would like to upload their minds into machines,' I strongly suspect the percentage of 'such individuals' 'nationwide' cannot even remotely compare to the percentage in 'fucking' 'San Francisco.'

000

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Can You Draw a Perfect 'Dong' ('Penis' ('Cock'))? With an 'Apple Pencil,' I Was Able to Achieve 97.2% Perfection. How About You?

053

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

'Marge vs. the Monorail' shamefully employs an 'association fallacy' to 'attack' monorail technology. 'The Simpsons' has sold its viewers an ignoble sham, discrediting an innocent innovation. Have honest, competent engineers build a 'monorail system' for 'any city,' and it will be 'a huge success.'

141

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

'CBD' ('cannabidiol')? No thank you. I prefer 'CBD' ('cock and ball dorture*'). * ('torture')** ** (but 'with a d')*** *** ('eez nuts')

160

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Pleased today to announce 'Xenogears University,' a 'for-profit university with programs for graduate students and also for executives and public policy experts,' the curriculum of which is based upon 'my posts' about 'Xenogears.'

050

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

If you don't know what 'Kingdom Hearts' is, imagine a boot stomping on a human face forever. The boot is made of 'shit' and the face is 'your face.'

012

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

EVERY time people talk about 'the gangbang,' there is SO much 'misinfo.' Allow me to correct the record. Everyone who 'came in a fluffer' had ALREADY 'fucked' 'Aella,' they just didn't 'come' in her (and many MORE guys 'came' in BOTH 'Aella' AND 'a fluffer'). PLEASE learn to read 'Sankey diagrams.'

030

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I'm grateful, of course, that 'Rockstar Games' is including the entire 'Xenogears' 'soundtrack' in their upcoming title 'Grand Theft Auto VI,' but I confess it seems to me a 'strange choice.'

040

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Parents: just because 'your child' is smiling at their phone doesn't mean they have a 'boyfriend or girlfriend.' Maybe they're just looking at screenshots of 'the 1998 PlayStation classic Xenogears.'

0228

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Let's be honest. If 'Xenogears' were 'open-ear earbuds made by Apple,' it would likely be 'the best open-ear earbuds Apple has ever made.'

000

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

It is well worth bearing in mind that 'the abnormal' is 'abnormal.' I find this of the utmost help in 'my medical practice.' When I come upon anything 'abnormal,' I say at once, "This is abnormal." And I treat it 'in that spirit.'

030

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

If 'Xenogears' were 'a phone case,' it would be a 'revolutionary phone case.'

021

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

'Underwear' is an unnecessary modern invention and I have never seen the need to wear it.

041

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Unfortunately, most of the 'jokes' were taken out of the initial version of 'Xenogears' after playtesters deemed the game 'too funny.'

050

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

'GPT-6' (the 'fucking' 'large language model' 'bullshit')? No thank you. I prefer 'GTA 6' (the 'fucking' 'triple A' 'videogame' 'bullshit'). Actually, that was just a 'little joke.' As one who does not have 'shit for brains,' I do not 'give a fuck about' 'either,' and thus prefer 'neither.' Ho ho!

0115

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

To you, perhaps, the people you work with are 'co-workers.' To me, however, they are 'cow'-'orkers,' as they are both 'cows' and 'orks' (I do not respect them (they are akin to 'animals' and 'those dumb guys from Warhammer')).

042

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Why 'change your car's oil' when 'your wife' can do it?

042

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

If you haven't 'played Xenogears,' you are not allowed to tell me 'where you were' or 'what you were doing' on '9/11' (I was 'playing Xenogears').

0146

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

If we 'look back' and say, "When was it, really, that 'Xenogears' 'came' (as it were) out?" I think it's likely going to be '1998.' For me personally, I do think it was '1998.' I think it's not unreasonable to feel that it 'came' (as it were) out in '1998.'

020

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

When I 'buy a game,' I buy 'seven copies': one to 'play,' one to 'keep sealed in the shrinkwrap,' one to have 'graded and encapsulated,' one as 'an extra,' one as 'a backup,' one 'just in case,' and, of course, one to 'masturbate with and/or to.'

031

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

I could 'go on and on' about 'the failings' of 'Shakespeare' ... but really I 'shouldn't need to': the 'Bayesian priors' are 'pretty damning.'

010

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Perhaps 'your' 'shit' is 'stinky.' But 'intellectual' 'shit' 'don't' 'stink.'

141

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

‘Anime babes’ are the ‘wisest,’ ‘holiest,’ most ‘effective’ ‘avatars’ (‘Divine Incarnate,’ ‘God Agents’) that ‘the human race’ has ‘ever produced.’

062

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

'Xenogears' is, in essence, the 'Half-Life 2' of games named 'Xenogears.'

050

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

No way of 'getting around' it': I'm the 'Einstein' of 'fucking.'

0104

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

I'm afraid you won't be able to pronounce 'Xenogears,' unless you happen to natively speak a language featuring 'the voiceless palatal plosive' (if you decide to try, make sure to 'go for' the 'alveolo-palatal variant').

040

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

'Women' Reveal the 'Most Attractive Hobby' a Man Can Have and, Surprisingly Enough, it's 'Constant, Compulsive Masturbation' (Indeed, 'Women' Confirm That Quantitative Level of Attractiveness is Directly and Linearly Proportional to Average Daily Hours Spent 'Jacking It').

050

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

'Donkey Kong'? 'Fuck' that 'big, hairy loser.' He's just another 'fuckiong' 'franchise figure' in the 'stupid world' of 'Nintendo.' If anyone's cool 'over there' ('N' 'world') it's 'Samus' '(Metroid)' (her 'clothes come off' when 'she dies').

040

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

I treat 'child safety' with 'zero tolerance.'

021

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

It's kind of odd that I am the only person in human history ever to have played 'Xenogears,' but I have slowly 'gotten used to it.'

041

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

'Clanker'? I 'hardly know her'! Oh ho ho ho ho ho! Ahem. Excuse me. Just 'my little joke.'

051

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I will acknowledge it is 'arguably not unproblematic' that 'Xenogears' could be viewed as 'robot propaganda' for the 'military-industrial complex.' However, the rumors that 'Raytheon' funded its development are false. In fact, their contribution was no more than '30 percent' of the total budget.

020

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

'Xenoblade Chronicles 2' is, in essence, a 'study' in 'total depravity.'

060

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

I use every ‘model,’ but I often prefer ‘SlopFuck.’ I think it’s better at ‘certain things.’ Every tool is better at ‘certain things.’ ‘Shart’ is better at ‘image generation.’ ‘Ass’ is better at ‘controversial content.’ ‘Cretin’ is good at ‘generating bullet points.’ And ‘PigGPT’ is best for ‘SEO.’

031

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Just witnessed an able, adult male press the button to 'cross an intersection.' Making '~100 cars' wait '30 seconds' is 'the destruction' of '50 minutes of human life.' 'Pushing the walk button' is worse than 'reclining an airline seat.' ('Women' excepted, obviously - they cannot walk as fast.)

020

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I must assure you I could not possibly 'give less of a shit' about 'your yum.' I will 'yuck it' because 'yucking your yum' is, in fact, 'my yum,' and also 'fuck you.'

082

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

'Xenogears' is an enormous game. It includes everything from 'soup' to 'nuts' -- and mostly 'nuts' five consecutive 'tilted cry-laughing guy emoji')!

051

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

It's 'kinda crazy' that nobody is really using 'AI agents.' The 'tech' is 'ready' for 'AI agents' to totally 'transform how we work and live our lives' by giving us the amazing opportunity to no longer have to learn, work, play, create, or socialize ever again. Oddly, the 'general public' 'dgaf.'

070

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

It may be that today's large 'penises' are 'slightly conscious.'

061

Citan Uzuki @doccitanuzuki.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Using the postal service is incredibly 'resource intensive' compared to simply 'sending an email,' but only 'the former mode of communication' has the capacity to transport a physical object such as 'a detached penis'* between sender and receiver. * Not all penises are 'detachable.'** ** Mine 'is.'

040