Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I was thinking about wasting my time on him but apparently I'm already a voice inside his yead? Apparently he misses me, though. That's something, at least. 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 06/10/2026That's not how I pronounced that in my head. 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 06/10/2026You can't definitively explain the dripping sackful of raw meat, but the internet's got a lot of theories. 100
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Multimedia is short for multiple media and I think that's beautiful 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I'm not allowed to post selfies here anymore because Texas wants to pretend it is unburdened by sin. You believe that shit? 111
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 13/09/2026My ladychicken is considered an OSHA violation in several states. Find out why! 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Don't tell anybody, but I'm technically not supposed to be here. 🤫 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Get hype you chucklefucks, I'm writing fanfiction. 020
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Terrierfier. With. Arf the Balloon Animal. 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Over here milking toast. Nobody can stop me! 120
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 18/06/2026Astrid's rule of cool; go out on an embarrassing note if you can. 120
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 11/06/2026One of my better qualities is that I usually only lie if it's funny. 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Sometimes you get tryarrhea from extended periods of retrydration. Try to keep up. 011
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 07/06/2026Every day I wear a pair of Buc-ee's sandles I affectionately refer to as my Buc' Taylors. When they inevitably fall apart I do not know what I will do. (That's a lie, I'll probably just find another pair at a Buc-ee's) 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Anytime you feel down about yourself and your progress in the world, just remember; Lou Bega had to burn four whole Mambos before he found the secret sauce. Think about that. Really think about it. I love you, you have beautiful eyes. 011
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 05/06/2026i was the sea and still you had the gall to sashay away - Ru Paul Kaur 010
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 29/05/2026Listen to those balls They speak an ancient tongue They hang out near The end of rear Known as the hole of bung~ 011
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Now and then I think of when we were together~ Then you gripped your knees, began to sigh. The lining of your butthole; tense. And then your sphincter would relent. And next thing that I knew I would splash cold water. 😔 121
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 16/05/2026I just ate pizza rolls with chopsticks ask me anything 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 14/05/2026It's hard having dumb bitch disease, not enough people talk about it. :T 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 14/05/2026When people would try to tease me in a photograph by doing the bunny ears. Joke's on you, I'm a furry. That made me feel cute every single time. 😎 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 13/05/2026If you send me a gif of someone doing a thumbs up I'm gonna be like awww you're sweet but if you send me the 👍 emoji with nothing else I'm fucking calling human resources. 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 13/05/2026Out of the chicken and into the coop; out of the chicken comes chicken poop...? 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 09/05/2026You just got off a 48 hour shift and you come home to a very beautiful human who tells you they love you and missed you. They cook you dinner. It's your favorite meal. You can taste the love. They wrap you in a warm embrace and plant a tender kiss on your lips. Run their fingers along your scalp. Th 110
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 06/05/2026Sometimes I actively choose to believe misinformation because it's funnier than the truth. :B 100
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 03/05/2026If the word sounds goofy as shit and you don't know what it means, stop right where you are. You've probably just encountered an unfamiliar slur. Always do an incognito search before liking that skeet. This has been The Astrid Assessment. Thank you for being beautiful. :) 010
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 03/05/2026Ooh I peepeed I dunno if I doodood but ooh I'd wipe to find out~ 010
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 24/04/2026This is what people are talking about when they say Dark Souls is difficult. This game really knows how to stick it in and break it off. 😔 000
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 22/04/2026Hell yeah you got a chance with that there opticon. That there opticon is paaaaaaansex'ial. 010
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 19/04/2026With the amount of time I spent on the toilet today, you can call me. Loo tenant. 010
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 12/04/2026I don't fuck with nutella. I only like oldtella. 010
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 09/04/2026Coach Ella and Barber Ella get Salmonella. 010
Disastrous Astrid @diisastriid.bsky.social · 08/04/2026If you quantify the weight I lost in birthed babies, you could say I squeezed out octuplets. I want you to think about that. I want you to think about it. 100
