iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I gnaw at my leg in the bear trap, but I can't even chew it right. I am a toothless fox, good for nothing. A liability to those around it, not even a suitable companion. I wear a crutch and walk with a limp, even as they try to help. Maybe I should've bit my own head off instead.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Lay me down on the operating table and vivisect me, or dissect me. It won't change anything. No diagnosis would cure me. No reason for what I am would change what I am. Why even bother.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I lie in my bed and rot. There will be no metamorphosis. There will be no change. Not even if I keep my eyes open all night. . But closing them won't change anything either. Nor will staying half-lidded and bleary-eyed in the morning. . I wish I could change, to make it so I'm not so ambitious.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

And just like that, it's a school night again. I hate sitting still, especially in such a sterile environment. Nothing moves, nothing thinks. You stagnate until you think your breathing too loud, and then you feel worse and worse. And the worst part? It doesn't go away at home. All the rot stays.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Did magic mushrooms for the first time today. Nothing changed. I was still me. Every little impulse and pathway was still me. Nothing was rewired. Nothing happened. I was one with the dust on the floor for a while, and then I was back to myself. I just wish I could find that sense of one again.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Maybe my flesh is wrong. It's not mine. It never belonged to me. And it never had. I am born of man and woman, and yet I feel nothing like either, let alone a person. Not even my bones are right. I can't feel my body unless I think about it. I can barely feel anything. Why can't I just die.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I am a curse. A crux placed upon everyone I know. As I sit and rot in my sheets, I have nothing more to think about than the ways I have wronged myself and the people I love. As my seventh trumpet sounds, and my horizons fill with gore and viscera. Maybe my feast upon life will end.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I am alone. Utterly and completely. I have nobody to talk to, I have nowhere to go. The people I love feel miles away, though only in the next room. The sun scorches the ground, and there are not enough trees to cover it. You can feel the sunlight through your shoes. It burns. It burns. It burns.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Even though I envy them for how they live so carefree, they are the one person I can never wish harm upon in my heart. I don't think I could say a bad thing about them, even if they were to stab me in the eye and exsanguinate my fetid blood from my rotting body.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

If I could forget my entire life, my parents, my school, my friends, everything, and be born anew, there's only one person I could truthfully say I would miss with all my heart. I would miss my sister. She taught me how to daydream, even when all I could think of was nightmares. I thank her for me.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

My future was guaranteed from birth. Grow, spread out, work, and die. I am none of those. I have failed to grow my own self, I haven't been able to leave my bed in what feels like years, and I can't even feel inspired enough to look for work. I suppose the only plan I have left is to die.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

I try to dress my guilt and shame in layers of lace and silk, but even through the prettiest dress and the fanciest suit, rot seeps through the seams. I haven't a reason to feel as guilty as I do, nor should I reasonably feel this guilty, so why do I continue to torture myself over forgotten words?

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

I cant differentiate myself from who I am and who I was. I remain locked in the instant of guilt and pain and I do not let myself exist beyond it. A criminal deserves no freedom from their cell, only to rot in it until they draw their final breath. Their life belongs to the dirt and the worms now.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

It's not even worth it to try and get better physically if all that I'll find is I hate my new form. Why even go through all that pain if I can't be how I want to be. Why should I break a leg for an audience that won't even watch.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

My body is useless. Pudgy in nature like a New York Pigeon, yet treated with all the care of a shitbox car. I've never been allowed to be treated better. Nor have I allowed myself to be treated better. It's effort better spent. Spent elsewhere. Spent on things that matter. Not spent on me.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

I'm tired. I'm so, so tired. I can't sleep. I never could. It's a peace disgraced from my mind. Banished, never to return. Aside from under the guise of death. . . . Maybe it'll all get better when I close my eyes for the final time and let the cold water take me under to numb my senses.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

I'll always remember yet dare to say I wish to forget. Nothing was traumatic, but everything felt like bruises hidden beneath my skin, like splinters in my bone. I don't like who Ive become and who I see myself becoming, but I'm not strong enough to change the course of my tracks from the cliff.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

To cut everything away. To become nothing. I must hack away at my very thoughts until they become nothingness. I will empty myself of my self, until I am nothing myself. My memories mean nothing to me, fleeting moments I won't remember even a day later. So why let it all hold me back?

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

They'll never tell me what's wrong with me, not if I never tell them who I am. Facades, masks, disguises, I do it all. A one-man closet full of nothing and everything. I'm the 15-ish allen wrenches that are on that multi-tool you gave your father, and yet none of them will ever be used.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Another day of wishing everyone was 20 steps backward. Another day of wishing that everyone would just go away for a moment, to leave me alone, to give me some space to think. So why do I want to be held so badly? To have someone wrap themselves around me and hug me? I make no sense, and I hate it.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Just once. Just once I want to be remembered.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Maybe one day it'll all make sense as my divine comedy reaches it's closure. When the white sheet of the morgue is pulled over my still face and body. When the flames of the incinerator char me to naught but Ash and bone. When whatever's left of me rests upon a cabinet. . . It'll all make sense.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

I'm so lonely. it's not the loneliness that being around others can cure or bandage. This loneliness is wholly mine, but yet, it belongs to everyone, so why must I be the one to belong to it? I miss myself, the one I used to see in the mirror and laugh with. Now all they bear is a look of disdain.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

I tore my way into this world screaming and crying. So it would only be fitting to leave it without a trace. Even the blood and flesh that I could once call myself should vanish without a trace. No peace awaits me. No life awaits a corpse.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

Maybe I am only fit to be a corpse under limelight. Admired only for the one moment of serenity that my death would offer the world. My death would probably be a great relief to those who I believe to love me, one less thorn in everyone's side. Will I even miss myself when I'm gone?

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

Everyone pisses me off nowadays. It feels like my emotions are on a hair-trigger with the barrel pointed through and towards my own mouth. I can't even stand my family anymore, even just the smallest idiosyncracies make me boil over with hatred and negativity. I hope I can feel peace again one day.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

I don't like lying. I was raised as an honest boy, and I always will be. So why do I lie to myself of all people? I lie that I feel fine, I tell myself that the horrible pain in my head is just from dehydration and stress. I don't like lying to myself that I like everyone I meet. I hate this facade.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

I'm aro-ace. Haven't had a crush in all nearly 20 years of my life. Not once have I shown or felt affection for someone who I wasn't born to. So why, why do I feel the need to find someone and cling to them? I want nothing but my sorrow, but instinct urges me to bring others into my sorrow.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

There is no such thing as "beautiful pain", nor "beautiful sadness". It's suffering under the guise of fancy words and intricacies unknown to all. The only difference is if you blossom from tears or blood. That's the only difference between beauty and braindead.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

I've lived my whole life in shades of grays, and now that there's finally colors, I cannot stand it. I wish for those dark dreary skies once more, to see the rainclouds gather and darken the sky. Maybe then it will make it a little easier to see just a little clearer.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

Feels like it's been decades since I last saw more than one star in the sky. It's quite lovely.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 11/02/2026

The day has become quite kind to me as of late. Where I only sought my solace in the pitch black of my room, the day has crept forward nonetheless. And with my body basked in it, I feel absolved of my worthlessness. Maybe my life is worth it, even if it's just to be there for those around me.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 25/01/2026

I'm a large guy, tall and wide. I look somewhat intimidating. I used to be bullied terribly so, each and every day was another mockery of myself. My parents always told me to stand up for myself, but how is a dog who's never even opened his mouth meant to bite?

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

Sometimes I stop to think about what I had years ago. I had a wonderful life up until middle school, and then it all came tumbling down. Yet, I cannot allow myself to stay in that warm moment of nostalgia. The longer you stay on a road, the more likely you are to be struck by a car after all.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

Guess half-way decent days were in style for a day and decided to die overnight.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Had a pretty decent day today. Wonder how many are left.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I feel so artificial. Like my very soul is intertwined with plastic. The falsities of it all, the lies tied around my heart and neck like a noose of the soul. How many masks can I wear before they melt together and scorch themselves unto my face, I wonder?

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I can't stand it. Seeing everyone else being so happy around me, comfortable in themselves and those around them. No peace awaits me. Nothing but the cold of the concrete as I drop dead upon the porch of reality, like a mouse caught in a sudden blizzard as I lay myself to rest, as no one else would.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I wish someone would hold me. Not a mother or a father, sibling or cousin. I need someone to hold me and tell me it's alright to fall apart. That my mind is not meant to take this much, and let me cry into their arms and shoulders. But no such person exists for me. Not in this lifetime.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I don't feel like an adult. I still feel all these horrid emotions from when I turned 13, and they haven't faded one bit. Bile rises in my throat like a restless ocean, and I feel the urge to vomit every day. But nobody even offers a single kindness. Nobody sticks their neck under a guillotine.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

They always ask what you dream of becoming. For a while it was a chef, then it was an artist, then it was a psychologist. Each and every time I tried to find something that I could live with, I was shot down like a chick unable to even leave its nest.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Maybe the only gift I had was my kindness. And this cruel world has stripped it of me, torn the pins off of my bag, ripped the patches from my body that made me who I was. And I became nothing and no one. Every word I've heard since the day I graduated had been nothing but cruelties.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I used to be the smartest in my entire grade. I used to be able to do exactly as told without question. But the moment I stopped to think about what I'd done, all the praise stopped. They didn't have me on strings anymore, and a puppet with cut strings can't be repaired, can it?

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I'm so tired. Some days I wake up and all I can think about is returning to that blissful ignorance of sleep, where I don't have to keep up appearances, where I feel more free than I've ever felt in my entire life. But the morning arrives all the same. The moon cannot stay in the sky forever.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Have I ever existed? I know it's all about thinking and therefore being, but my thoughts are hardly ever my own nowadays. It's all nonsense I've heard or seen, nothing fresh, nothing even still bleeding in my mind. It's all rotten. Everything I've ever done is rotten to the heart.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I miss the old me. The way I used to be, before my anxiety and depression caused me to repress and refrain from living as others had. My fear of rejection has stunted me, horribly so. And yet all the same, the comfort of not having to feel that fetid animosity of rejection balms the wound slightly.

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Forget-Me-Not @desiderio06.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

I've always wondered why we bother with loving one-another. I'm not going to preach about how love is just a chemical, because love does exist. But what if it doesn't? Do people just lie to fit in, or do they give up on finding anything, focusing only on putting one foot ahead of the other.

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