Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 19/10/2025You people should really be nicer to our favorite President, DJT. 020
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 18/10/2025If I was a politician and some fake news reporter asked me what my favorite Bible verse was, I’d pick something from Solomon. 020
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 25/09/2025If you are disappointed the rapture didn’t happen, you’re wrong and you have a different reason to be disappointed. 130
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 09/09/2025If by some wild chance a Democrat becomes president in 2029, the Supreme Court will get a bad case of vertigo reversing themselves so fast. 020
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 03/08/2025I’m considering combining my DOGE rebate check with my tariff rebate check to buy a big American pickup truck. 020
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 06/07/2025Here’s a rule for all politicians. When something bad happens, don’t tell me who is to blame. Tell me what positive steps you are taking to fix it. 060
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 21/04/2025President Trump is doing such a great job that he deserves a promotion. He should be the next Pope. 030
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 04/04/2025If I want to buy groceries, the first I do is go to the grocery store and kick the manager in the groin. 020
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 02/04/2025Will the mule notice when he gets hit with a 2 by 4? 030
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 27/03/2025I think I’ll ride my velocipede down to the country store and buy some groceries. 020
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 22/03/2025Don’t worry about the economy. Republicans have a plan to solve the nonexistent furrie problem. 010
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 17/03/2025Yes, Anthony, it’s good that the stock market is going down! 010
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 17/02/2025I guess if you have a small stick you learn to speak loudly. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 01/02/2025Bought a dozen eggs yesterday for $8.99. Soon restaurants will be charging an egg surcharge. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 30/01/2025These people are so ridiculous you can’t even make jokes about them. I didn’t expect that Trump himself would blame DEI for the airplane crash. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 24/01/2025If we get rid of the fire department and police department, not only will we save money but we won’t have any more fires or crime. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 24/01/2025I’m glad that President Trump has signed an order forbidding anyone in the federal government from calling anything disinformation or misinformation. So now nobody in the government, including Trump, can say anything is “fake news “. 010
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 17/01/2025Doesn’t the human pictured on the cover of this month’s National Geographic look like a Klingon? 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 16/01/2025I can just imagine Bob Uecker saying “We must be in the front row!” to David Lynch while they wait by the pearly gates. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 09/01/2025All Chuck Norris facts are actually about someone else who is too bigly humble to allow his name to be used. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 09/01/2025While CNN and MSNBC are covering Jimmy Carter’s funeral live, Fox News is showing C-list celebrities blaming Democrats for the L.A. fires. 010
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 07/01/2025It’s just terrible that our dear future leader is being slightly inconvenienced by Jimmy Carter’s death. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 05/01/2025I sure hope that’s it’s not as cold on January 20 as it was for Reagan’s second inauguration. Just think how disappointed the millions of people crowding DC would be if things were moved indoors. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 01/01/2025I just heard that the attack in New Orleans occurred because the FBI was investigating January 6. Sounds logical. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 27/12/2024The ACC is going to have to start paying their football players more or they’re going to get kicked out of the power four. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 20/12/2024Just for fun I like to imagine what Simpsons characters 47*, Dr. Evil and the rest of the Billionaire Cabinet would be. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 19/12/2024I hear DOGE is hiring henchmen. You may not work remotely, you must report directly to the underground lair. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 18/12/2024I guess the capitalists are having their doubts about the 47* economy. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 15/12/2024My house is so perfectly aligned East-West and North-South it had to have been built by aliens or using alien technology. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 15/12/2024I really dislike those gas pumps with video screens playing ads and infotainment. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 11/12/2024Don’t you get really annoyed at people who don’t know the secret MAGA handshake? 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 08/12/2024I‘ve been doing a lot of online shopping this year. Someday someone is going to start selling advertising space on all those boxes they are shipping. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 06/12/2024A large owl perched on your deck rail peering at you through the window will get your attention. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 05/12/2024Shortly after the elections in 1980 my college advisor said that the capitalists had fired Jimmy Carter and hired Ronald Reagan. I thought that was a little over the top, but it rings truer every year. Do you suppose the capitalists like 47*’s tariff plans? 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 04/12/2024I switched to two-handed bowling this year. From watching pro bowling on TV I figured two-handed is the future. Kind of like the Fosbury flop or “soccer style” place kicking, where only a few lunatics are doing it then it is so obviously better it becomes the standard. 010
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 04/12/2024Maybe this is too politically incorrect for the “objective” media to say, but the Republicans have become experts at using racism to win elections. It’s hard to admit to ourselves that that still works. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 04/12/2024The more 47* packs his administration with billionaires the more ridiculous the pundits who said the Democrats lost because they “didn’t connect with” or were “out of touch” with working class voters sound. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 03/12/2024When Hunter Biden was being prosecuted did Joe Biden go on social media everyday screaming about witch hunts? Did Joe Biden appear on camera telling vicious lies about the prosecutors and their families? Did Joe Biden swear to get retribution? 010
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 02/12/2024If Biden had any decency he would do the right thing and pardon Trump. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 01/12/2024There were no Red states and Blue states before color TV. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 29/11/2024I forgot to mention this yesterday, but I am thankful for the 22nd and 25th amendments. 000
Matt Dylan @derekflab.bsky.social · 24/11/2024My first tweet from June 14, 2009: “Picking my feet in Poughkeepsie”. Hoping to continue keeping it classy here on Bluesky. 000
