iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Real time Korthis breakdown is crazy. Fuck me. Emotionally and mentally swinging back and forth to such extremes is so brutal. I have go somewhere this weekend. Anywhere. Just away. Somewhere I haven't been. Just to clear my head. I have to stop rotting.

000

What am I fucking doing? What is this thought process bro? To spiral and know that you are. I'm so upset, and so sad, yet so apathetic towards it all that it's somehow funny. And just overthinking all it 24/7 for like two weeks is just so fucking whack. I might actually commit myself.

000

Fuck bro I'm a coward I should it already

000

I'm sorry for posting like a crazy person. There's just so much I'm dealing with and I'm struggling. I'm aware of it and I do see someone for it. It's just extremely overwhelming. Again, my apologies.

000

I'm self aware of my own descent into madness. I hate it.

I really just want to drop to my knees and scream and cry. I'm so tired. I'm tired of being tired.

I wish I could reach into my head and claw all of these thoughts out. It's agonizing being like this. The emotional roller-coaster is crazy. Feeling okay, to utter dispear, ideation, crippling loneliness, hopelessness, to being clingy, and wanting to socialize, and back again.

Korthis ⸸ @demonsune.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Heavy thoughts man, heavy thoughts...

250

Korthis ⸸ @demonsune.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Stoned and looking at my crashout. Like, valid but damn dude.

Korthis ⸸ @demonsune.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Gonna play the MW4 beta this weekend to get my mind off of this stuff. Maybe I'll be cracked. I hope it's good.

Being self aware that you're falling part, look kinda crazy, and probably having a crisis, and overthinking it, your behavior, and every emotion to conspiracy theory levels is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Yes, I am in therapy.

Looking my previous posts will high is just like, damn man that's kinda cringe you should toughen up. But also, I've lost more than just relationship, it's complicated so maybe later. But a lot of other anxieties and other depressive issues have all snowballed together and it's just yucky ya know?

030

I can't even look at my sona anymore. I might sell Korthis.

100

Korthis ⸸ @demonsune.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I really just want to collapse on the floor and rot away. I'm so empty inside man. I can't really describe the pain, the hollowness, and lack of anything. I feel no reason to keep going. No motivation. No happiness. It's so painful to even try to mask it even for a short while. I feel so lonely.

110

I appreciate the few people who have reached out. I know my dm's have been slow and whatnot and it's hard for me open up. I want to try to resume some sense of normality but I'm still so torn up inside it makes it hard to be "normal." Ya know?

Korthis ⸸ @demonsune.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Fuck man. Sitting alone on the weekends is so rough. Being lonely to begin with but on top of this shit is crushing. I've just been sitting, comatose in my chair.

140

Korthis ⸸ @demonsune.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

He just doesn't listen, man. The despair and loss is just, fucking hell bro.

My hands won't stop shaking either. Just let it end bro, please.

Crying at work bro. I'm so glad I work alone.

Never again. It's happened too many times.

000

I feel like literal corpse man. It hurts so much.

000

This might have ruined being a furry for me.

It hurts so much. It feels like I've been shot. (Metaphorically) Fuck man. Fuck. Just, fuck.

Even though I had issues with him, I never gave up on him. And I'd still take him back after all of this. I'm sorry.

Things were improving, I was committed to it. Things in life were gonna get less stressful come next month. All these things that made me so abrasive were gonna lighten up and I was gonna be able to move back to the better me that's been buried under all of the crap from the last 8 months

030

I don't know anymore man. I really don't. I want to try to fix things. Months from now, a year from now. I want to try to reconcile when we're not so beaten down by life. I have such a strong bound with him. I felt accepted and understood. I felt like I didn't have to constantly mask. I felt whole.

I'm trying so hard not to sob at work. I'm shaking, I feel ill, and I feel so hollow and so empty

I love him man 😭 He's all I think about...

We used to VC at work too, so I could make it through the shift. And now it's just quiet...

Part of me hopes (probably in vain) that we just need a break. We're both so stressed out. Work has been sucking my soul out since Feburary. I haven't had a healthy sleep schedule since then either and I think we just spent too much together while we were so worn out.

Trying to not fall apart at work. I'm so lost in a sea of emotions. I still can't believe I fumbled him. I'd give and do anything to repair it

Fuck. I can't sleep. I still feel like I've been punched in the gut. </3

I wish I was better sooner. I love him

I was so hung up over what few things were missing, I didn't appreciate what I had.

I fumbled him. I fumbled the best person to ever walk into my life.

Actually landed up with some sort of mutism from all of this. There's just people I can't speak too and environments I can't speak in. It's just bizarre. But I'm still a mess so I don't know man.

Korthis ⸸ @demonsune.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

God, I'm gonna be physically ill