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Reposted by Definitely Not Professionals

Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Valued employees, Today is Bandcamp Friday! Please consider purchasing Rat Race. Your continued support is greatly appreciated. Thank you, Management

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Valued employee, We would like to you to turn your attention to the new Definitely Not Professionals website. You will find new updates as well as links to any music here. Feel free to take a look if you would like. Thank you, Management definitelynotprofessionals.nekoweb.org/index.html

definitelynotprofessionals.nekoweb.org

Definitely Not Professionals

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Valued employees, Today is Bandcamp Friday! Please consider purchasing Rat Race. Your continued support is greatly appreciated. Thank you, Management

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Reposted by Definitely Not Professionals

LOgN @carbonicecream.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

long retired man sings Rat race

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Valued employee, Definitely Not Professionals is now on Bandcamp! As of right now, you can purchase "Rat Race" starting at $1.50 CAD. All proceeds go directly back into our activities as a group. definitelynotprofessionals.bandcamp.com/track/rat-race Thank you for your support. Management

definitelynotprofessionals.bandcamp.com

Rat Race, by Definitely Not Professionals

track by Definitely Not Professionals

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Valued employees, Today (August 8th) is employee Gahata Meiji’s anniversary. Please wish her a happy birthday if you see her. Thank you, Management

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

“DNP Employee Handbook - Section B We care about our relationship with the public immensely. Our PR managers are some of the most trusted experts in the field, and we rely on them to keep our image as squeaky clean as possible. Where would we be if not for the PR managers?” Meet Kotozaki!

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

“DNP Employee Handbook - Section A The executives are the face of this company. While you, the employees, are invaluable assets, the executives are the ones people see. They have the best PR training we can give them. Please show them respect, even if they can be a bit much at times.” Meet Newton!

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

“Breaking news! At a press conference today, the CTO of Definitely Not Professionals was found making some quite shocking comments. The words used were so upsetting and vile that we’ve been told not to repeat them here. More on this at 11.”

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

“DNP Employee Handbook - Section B If you find your surroundings to be unsafe or dangerous, please report to the nearest safety manager. It’s their job to ensure everything is in order and that everyone has proper training on any equipment they use. You can trust them with anything.” Meet skeou!

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

Somebody ought to take a look at some of these reports….

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

“DNP Employee Handbook - Section E The customer is always right. We at Definitely Not Professionals believe this without a doubt. We provide our customers with the best service possible, and it is important you hold customer satisfaction above all else.” Meet LOgN!

Employee card
edit - LOgN
template/portrait - Ashe

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Definitely did not do a takeover to correct smth - ✈️

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

"and your bleach blond, melty liner, and cakey foundation is commenting on my hairclip instead of making effort to do a search party to find your "living breathing grandma" THAT YOU ABANDONED YOURSELF ON THE PLANE!! smh"

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 06/04/2026

Valued employee, "Rat Race" featuring Gahata Meiji is now available on streaming services. Please see the attached link for more information. Thank you, Management big-up.style/3MGYs3A8q4?w...

big-up.style

Rat Race

The first single from Definitely Not Professionals. Centers around an office clerk stuck working in the most chaotic conditions until her eventual breakdown. To make matters worse, it turns out the co...

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

“DNP Employee Handbook - Section C It is important you come in to the office with a smile on your face. A good attitude has been proven to boost morale among your peers. Always be sure to keep up a positive face and you will surely find success at this company.” Meet Ashe!

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

For your perusal… Please look after these, they’re pretty important!

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

Important update: we have a YouTube channel now! You can expect to find all future DNP uploads here. We appreciate all of the support we’ve received so far. Thank you! #defnopro youtube.com/@definitelyn...

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Reposted by Definitely Not Professionals

Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 14/03/2026

Attention all employees, Reminder that our office potluck is tomorrow. Please join us at 5:00 PM EST at www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QAz..., and don't forget to bring food! Thank you, Management #vocagathering2026

youtube.com

[Gahata Meiji] Rat Race / Definitely Not Professionals

YouTube video by Ashe

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

Quick update: the instrumental as well as the USTx/SVP files for Rat Race are available for download! You can find them here: drive.proton.me/urls/BGNYMYN... #defnopro

drive.proton.me

Proton Drive

Securely store, share, and access your important files and photos. Anytime, anywhere.

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

Employee appreciation day! Here's the reference sheet for Gahata Meiji as she appears in "Rat Race". 🎨 - skeou 👗 - skeou, Ashe #defnopro

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 14/03/2026

Thank you to everyone who showed up for the potluck! It was a grand success. We at Definitely Not Professionals appreciate all of your support.

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 14/03/2026

youtube.com

[Gahata Meiji] Rat Race / Definitely Not Professionals

YouTube video by Ashe

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Definitely Not Professionals @defnopro.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

Valued employee, We hope this email finds you well. We will be having a (voca)gathering on March 14th. It will be a potluck, so you are encouraged to bring food. We will also be showing “Rat Race” featuring our office clerk, Gahata Meiji. We hope to see you there. Thank you, Management

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