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Paula - Defend Survivors

@defendsurvivors.bsky.social
204 followers 86 following 1.4K posts

✨ Activist for abuse/trauma survivors Fierce advocate & proud mom | Adoptee | Blog open.substack.com/pub/defendsurvivo… 🛍️ Worthy & Wonderful Shop worthywonderfulshop.etsy.com

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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 2h
Believing you after you've been harmed isn't a gift - it's your basic human right. You shouldn't have to fight for that - especially from family and friends. #believesurvivors #SupportSurvivors defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/monday-mot...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 15h
It's New to You. They've Been Living With It. #supportsurvivors
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
You cannot give someone a child because they want to be a parent - that’s not a gift, that’s human trafficking. #childrights #humanrights #adopteerights
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
They are taking someone’s word for it. Who lies? Perpetrators. #believesurvivors youtube.com/shorts/Tybw5...
youtube.com
You Can’t Take a Survivor’s Word for It — But You’ll Take the Perpetrator’s?
YouTube video by Defend Survivors
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Adoption is trauma. youtube.com/shorts/XvMOT...
youtube.com
Adoption is trauma.
YouTube video by Defend Survivors
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
It’s cruel to do this to anyone let alone millions of adoptees and even more cruel to then call this unnecessary trauma ‘beautiful’. #adoptee #adoption #adopteevoices #trauma defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/my-adoptee...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
When a survivor shares their story people are usually shocked but if they only knew everything the perpetrator has actually done…
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
If your adoptive family physically or emotionally tries to keep you from knowing your family - that’s entrapment, not love. #adoptee #adoption
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
People are more disturbed by a survivor’s anger than they are a perpetrator’s crimes The survivor is not the problem.
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
No one should ever have to wonder who their mother or father is - it’s abuse. #adoptee #adoption
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
My mother tried to find me when I was 18. I didn’t find out until 40 years later. It would have drastically changed my life to have had this information but my birth state hid it from me and sealed it. There was never a reason to do this-just a choice to. defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/my-adoptio...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Abducting a child and lying to them their entire life is a crime. Adoptive parents lying to their child their entire life is legal and the state gives them the document to do it. The result is the same for the child. It’s abuse.
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Why do survivors ‘hang on to anger’? Because they are the only ones who are angry. The survivor is the only person acknowledging that what was done to them was wrong. They are the only ones acknowledging the depths to which they were hurt and their life altered.
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
What you did to survive needs to be honored, not judged. You deserve respect. #supportsurvivors #respectsurvivors defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/worthiness...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The adopters and adoption supporters that make such vile comments on adoptee’s post prove the type of people many children are placed with and why adoption does not mean a child will go to a loving home. #adoptee #adopteevoices defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/adoptee-ri...
defendsurvivors.substack.com
They Were Handed A Reputation They Didn’t Earn
How dare we—the “saved”—challenge them?
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Stop holding victims accountable for not thwarting perpetrators. Start holding perpetrators accountable for their crimes. #accountability #supportsurvivors #stopvictimblaming
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Adoptees don’t stay little forever. We grow up into strong adults that return to dismantle the system that harmed us and expected us to be grateful. #adopteevoices #listentoadoptees
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
No one has to be grateful for being ‘given life’ - no one. #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The people mad at adoptees for not being grateful prove how much abuse there is in adoption. #adopteevoices #adoption
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“It can take years for someone to fully understand what happened to them, let alone find the words to say it out loud.” #believesurvivors #supportsurvivors defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/truth-tell...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'm 60 And Just Found Out I Was Lied To My Entire Life | Part 2/5 Adoptee Identity Rights Series #adoptee #adoption #trauma youtu.be/JulfPECl9aE
youtu.be
I'm 60 And Just Found Out I Was Lied To My Entire Life | Part 2/5 Adoptee Identity Rights Series
YouTube video by Defend Survivors
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Many people are pro-birth and pro-adoption, but they are not pro-child. #childwelfare #adoptionistrauma #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Someone saying they were desperate to have a child should be a massive red flag. #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Telling an adoptee to be grateful is abuse - dismissing trauma is abuse. #adopteevoices #adoption #listentoadoptees
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Every time I tell someone I have two birth certificates, they say, “Well, that’s not legal.” It is legal. It’s not just legal but it has been standard practice for decades. How it started is worse. #adopteevoices #InstitutionalBetrayal #adoption defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/caring-for...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Dismissing abuse - is abuse.
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Most adoptions don’t happen because of this. But occasionally someone says they didn’t want their child. But why then does the child have to leave and lose their entire family? Why doesn’t the person who doesn’t want the child leave and lose their family instead of the child?
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
When I hear adopters say how selfless the ‘birth’ mother was to give her child a better life, I always think - why weren’t you selfless and help her so her child and her could stay together and both have a better life. #adopteevoices #childwelfare
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Everyone is born with a birthright to know who they are. Tragedies happen that cause people to search for their identity and family — in adoption, it’s done to them on purpose. You don’t do this to someone on purpose. It’s cruel. #adopteevoices #adoption #adopteerights
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
“You are the expert on your life, your healing, and what you need. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for healing the way you need to.” #SupportSurvivors #mindsetmotivation #support defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/therapy-th...
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Reposted by Paula - Defend Survivors
DetroitRudyOwens @detroitrudyowens.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Another intercountry adoption memoir, from Sun Yung Shin, is out: "'Adoption is often promoted as purely humanitarian,' she added. 'But there can be a widescale theft of people’s lives' — severing connections to family, history and genealogy." sahanjournal.com/arts-culture...
sahanjournal.com
Author Sun Yung Shin unpacks the cultural loss of transnational adoption in new memoir ‘Heart Eater’
This weekend: the Selby Ave. Jazz Fest and South Asian feminist art in St. Paul; Twin Cities Maker Fest and Cedarfest in Minneapolis.
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
One decision was made for me before I was old enough to have any say in it. In Part 3 of this 5 part video series on Adoptee Identity Rights, I explore what happens when a decision made about a baby continues to control that person’s rights decades later. #adopteevoices youtu.be/Maqz962io8M?...
youtu.be
The One Decision That Changed My Entire Life Forever | Part 3/5 Adoptee Identity Rights Series
YouTube video by Defend Survivors
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Too often what ‘supporting survivors’ means is getting the survivor to change something about themselves but what survivors most often need is the circumstances and people around them to change.
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
“What the world owes you is support—compassion, patience, protection, and care. You deserve to rest without guilt. You deserve time and space to find your way through what you should have never had to endure in the first place.” #healing #support defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/worthiness...
defendsurvivors.substack.com
Defend Survivors Worthiness Wednesday | You Deserve Rest, Not Pressure ✨
Quote Of The Day | September 3rd, 2025
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
A child's need for care can be fully met without hiding and rewriting who that child is. So there was never a reason to put all of us through this and make us search and wonder about basic information that others readily knew - it was a choice. A cruel choice. #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
A child’s need for care can be fully met without hiding and rewriting who that child is. So there was never a reason to rewrite my identity. There was only a choice to. #adopteerights #adoption #childwelfare #IdentityMatters #humanrights defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/caring-for...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
People need to be educated to not victim blame instead of educating survivors on what they ‘should’ve’ done. #stopvictimblaming #victimblaming
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Tragedies happen that make people wonder what happened to their family and search for them. This is done to adoptees on purpose. It’s so cruel because the answers we search for are right there but they sealed. You don’t do this to someone on purpose. #adopteerights #adoption
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
The state had the right to make sure I was cared for. It did not have the right to erase that little girl who was born, permanently rewrite my life and identity, seal it, and make me beg for my own information. #adopteerights #humanrights #adoption defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/caring-for...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
If we give all the supposedly happy untraumatized adoptees a clap 👏 and all the adopters that according to them did everything perfect a good star ⭐️ — will they go away and let us focus on the people hurt by adoption? #listentosdoptees #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The problem isn’t that adoptees are angry - the problem is that everyone else is not angry that we were erased and our lives permanently altered. #adoptee #adopteevoices #adopteerights
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Daily reminder: adopters are not the authority on adoption. Listen to adoptees. #listentosdoptees
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Someone who babysat for an adopted child now thinks they are the expert on adoption and leaving their opinion on adoptee posts. Everyone thinks they are the experts on adoption - they are not. Listen to adoptees. #listentoadoptees #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
It’s horrific when someone goes missing and family has to search and wonder if they’re okay. But this is everyday for adoptees - except no one is helping us look. Instead we are looking for answers easily known and often concealed by others. #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Adopters think they are the authority on adoption - they are not. #listentoadoptees #adopteevoices
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Adopters continually prove through their own words why they should not be caring for a child. #listentoadoptees #coercivecontrol #adopteevoices #adoption
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Before you tell a survivor to focus on gratitude, ask if they have a safe home that they love? Good healthcare? Financial security? Support from family and friends? Perpetrator secured? The survivor doesn’t need a change in perspective - they need their reality to change. #supportsurvivors
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
“The state didn't just allow the lie — it issued the document that made the lie possible.” Part 2 of my 5 part series - Adoptee Identity Rights #adopteerights #humanrights #adoption #identity #adopteevoices youtu.be/JulfPECl9aE?...
youtu.be
I'm 60 And Just Found Out I Was Lied To My Entire Life | Part 2/5 Adoptee Identity Rights Series
YouTube video by Defend Survivors
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
A decision was made when I was an infant. A signature severed me from my family. A signature let my birth certificate be falsified. A signature sealed the truth. There is no signature I can add to take any of it back. #adoption #adopteerights defendsurvivors.substack.com/p/caring-for...
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Paula - Defend Survivors @defendsurvivors.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
New video - 1st of a 5 part series on how sealed adoption records are a human rights violation #adopteerights #adoption #humanrights #adopteevoices #institutionalbetrayal youtu.be/yGiP7PQGw74?...
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